Someone is playing a piano somewhere and I am sincerely attracted to it.  A huge part of me wants to get up and go find it--the piano and its player.  I have no idea who it is; sitting in the basement of Old Main, it could be any of a thousand different people.  I can name a handful of people that would become virtually irresistible if they played.  Piano just makes people more attractive.  There's a beauty in it, a softness in it, that can make even someone normally hard, cold, stark seem... less so.  The piece being played is beautiful.  In my mind's eye I envision the face of someone I saw in a movie once, tilted just slightly, eyes half-closed, attentive and entranced by the music he's playing; his torso leaned forward just a bit, not even a full twenty degrees.  Hands move lithely over keys, pressing down in patterns complicated only to someone who doesn't understand, perhaps to those who do.  Bouncing lightly over chords and progressions, key changes...  Piano is such a beautiful, underrated instrument.  It's so much in terms of dynamic, terms of emotion and feeling.  There's so much that can be felt in other people's music.  So much that can change in mind and in heart.  It's... complicated.

This is the thing.  I am attracted to the piano and the ability to play it.  Not necessarily the people that play it.  It doesn't automatically make me like a person.  Yes, it makes them more attractive, but not necessarily in the way that would change how I feel about them.  Playing piano doesn't make up for everything else; it's just a point in their favor.  A big point, but nonetheless.  I'm drawn to piano.  It opens up something inside of me, like a door into a level of philosophical trains of thought that I usually don't delve into.  But, again, its kind of like... incoherent.  It's this inner flow of concepts and thoughts without words, feelings and emotions that I just don't have words for.  And maybe I could learn words for them, but I haven't learned them yet.  I'm not skilled enough with the English language to adequately explain it or discuss it.  I feel almost as though it's a disservice to you to mention it and then just cut the topic short.  I wish I could do better; I really do.

I wish I could play the piano better than I can at present.  I wish that I had the talent necessary to play real music, evoke real emotional responses like those invoked in me.  Maybe some day.

I have class now. So I'm going to go.  But chew on that for a bit.  I might come back later and talk some more about something else.  We shall see.
(=

--Emily Renae

A Moment, Please?

So first off, I just kinda realized that the more time that passes the more I'm talking about myself and my life and shit in my blog... and that's basically what I have been trying NOT to do since I started writing.  So I kind of feel like I failed you guys, in a way.  Maybe not... but I still sorta feel that way.  But I guess I came to an unspoken understanding that there was no way for me to actually discuss my opinion on a book or musical album without giving at least a little insight into why I feel that way.  You know?  Giving a legitimate reason for a belief helps you guys understand why I feel the way I do.  Believing something just for the hell of it is kind of a shitty way to live life, eh?  So I guess maybe I'll cut back on the blather?
Don't count on it...

Anyway.  Second.  Today I finished reading this book:

Forever: Maggie Stiefvater

This book concludes the Wolves of Mercy Falls series by Maggie Stiefvater, a series that I've been in love with from the very first page of Shiver, book one.

I'm going to try really hard not to give any spoilers because Clare is reading book 2 and I really don't want to ruin it for her, so this is going to be kind of hard.

The tension that begins to rise in the other books continues to rise for the grand majority of this novel as well.  And there's some serious tension in here.  The guitar strings are being tightened until eventually they break.  Every one.  Well... Yeah.  I'm gonna stand by that.

The ending/conclusion of this novel is bittersweet.  I like it, I really do, but it isn't entirely happy.  However, endings are never entirely happy, so therefore I'm kind of glad that it didn't come out perfect.  At the same time, the optimist in me still wishes that things had worked out for the characters for which they didn't.  If you followed that you're in good shape.
I'd have liked to see a little bit more between a couple of the characters, though I totally understand that it wasn't their story.  Nonetheless.

Something else kind of exciting!:

Lookit lookit!! A movie poster for Shiver!!  With Emma Watson!! Which means it couldn't be too terrible, right?  If Emma's in it?  Don't ruin my hopes and dreams.

Anyway.  That's exciting.  Definitely going to that in the theater--and I know who I'm bringing with meeee! Hopefully.  With any luck.

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! =D

I mean, nah.  It'll be okay. *sniff* Whatever. lol


 Aaaaaaanyway.

Okay... So... Yeah I forgot what I was intending to talk about.  Soooooo I'ma go.  Kay?  Kay.

Byyyyye!
--Emily Renae

Girl Crushes!

We all have them.  I mean, really.  Any girl that says she doesn't have girl crushes is really just lying to herself.  I have a few, and I'm the first to own up.  I think they're great.  So today I'm going to discuss mine! (=  Well... the major ones, anyway. ;P

Okay, so first up:

Emma Stone

God, isn't she gorgeous?  I just absolutely love her.  I can't help it.  As far as I can tell from her interviews and everything, she's really fun and really smart, too.  Apparently being lifted in the air by whatever actor for Crazy Stupid Love scared the shit out of her and a stunt double had to do it, hahaha.









Crush Number Two:

Emma Watson!
What can I say?  I have a thing for girls named Emma. hahaha

She's just amazingly gorgeous.  Fabulous bone structure.  British.  I have a thing for British girls, too.  (My next girl is also from England.)

And she's smart!  She doesn't just play a super smart chick, she IS one.  She's got a clothing line, too, partnered with an organic line.  I'm not 100% on the specifics because it's been too long since I was reading about it.  She paints as well, and she's really good at it.  At least I think so. =P

Crush Numero Tres:

I introduce to you: Ellie Goulding

She is a British pop singer and she has an amazing voice with which she sings these awesome songs.  And I totally love her.

If you Youtube the video for Lights (the song hit American radio early this summer I think... last summer? =S I have no sense of time when it comes to radio) and watch her dance, it's like... sexy.  Holy crap.  The girl's got a kickin figure and man does she know how to use it.
I'm straight, swear to God.
But I just think she's absolutely pretty.  And I love her hair.  I could never pull it off because I don't have that kind of volume/body to my hair, but I wish I could/did.  Not sure I'd have the nerve to do it anyway, on the just in case factors, you know? (I'm referring to that little patch above her ear there that's sheared.  I can't remember what the term for it is.)

Crush Four:

Miss Haley Williams

Look at this face and tell me you don't think she's adorable.  I mean, seriously.  Look at her!  I love her.
I've only met one guy ever that has said he doesn't think she's really cute.  He's weird though, so I kinda discount his opinion.  hahaha.  That wasn't very nice of me, was it?  oops.  Whatever.

Anyway, Hayley fronts Paramore for anyone who doesn't know.  She is younger than my older brother by several months (which is kinda interesting for me, I guess) and hails from Nashville, TN.  In my opinions one of the only good things that has come out of Nashville.  (I don't like Nashville.)

But yeah. (=

NEXT!

Tee hee.

Just kidding.  I love her to pieces and I do think she's gorgeous (even though she rolls her eyes and disagrees with me all the time) but I wouldn't call her a girl crush.  Just a favorite. (=

<3 you!


For real, though... actually I think that's all I've got.  Yeah..... Yeah that's it.

I could talk about normal crushes now, if you like?  Ah what the hell, I'm already here.

Numero uno:

Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low

Ahhhh, man.  Just look at him.  I love it.  He's so sexy.  And I love his voice.  And his music.  That's all I really have to say.  His history doesn't matter if you don't care.  The point is that he's hot, after all.
hahahaha

Moving right along.

Daniel Craig

Who yes, I know is, middle aged.  And that's weird for me to be like, wow he's so attractive.  But I wouldn't call him not, nor would I call him sexy.  But he is oddly attractive for a middle aged man.  For real.
Okay, okay, I know.  It's still weird.  It's weird.  So what?

Does this one surprise you?  Probably not...  I'm not sure about his current look.  For awhile he was sporting a not terribly attractive one... Oh wellz.

Anyway, he fronts 30 Seconds to Mars  (The Kill, From Yesterday, Hurricane) and does some acting.  He was in Lord of War (drug addict brother; shot in the head) and Fight Club (Angel Face; haven't seen it, but apparently they beat him to death) Girl, Interrupted (boyfriend that fled to Canada to evade the draft [I think he did anyway]), and Requiem for a Dream (Harry Goldfarb; also haven't seen this one but if I remember right he dies a brutal death in here, too.  It's kind of a common factor of his roles).

I enjoy his vocals.  And I really enjoy his face.  So there you have it. (=

Cam Gigandet

Daaaaammn lookit that!  *swoon*  Not really, but seriously, he's so hot.  Actor.  Burlesque (Jack: works at the bar), Priest (Hicks), Easy A (Micah: Marianne's boyfriend), and Pandorum (Gallo: crazy guy) to name a few.  Oh, and he played James in Twilight.  (Bleh.)  My favorite is Burlesque.  God, is he sexy. Phew.  I need to go buy that movie now. hahaha.

Davey Havok.  This is what he looks like now.  If this were 2007, you would look at him and raise your eyebrows and look at me like I was absolutely insane.
He used to wear makeup.  Like, not just eyeliner (which I still think is hot; I know, but whatever) but eye shadow too.  (Only man I've ever seen that can pull it off without looking horridly gay; maybe it was just my impression or something, though. Who knows.)  He also used to wear a lip ring--which I totally miss and wish he would get a new one.  It was awfully sexy.

I'm weird! I know.  But seriously, I just love this guy.  He has an incredible voice.  He stands for some incredible values.  He's very smart.  He's extremely talented.  He's gorgeous. Very sexy.  And I love the way he talks in interviews and stuff! He just has the best way of saying things.  I love it.  Absolutely.

Anyway.  That's 4 girls and 5 guys that I have celebrity crushes on.  The girl crushes are harmless.  I just think they're gorgeous.  The men on the other hand..? hahaha. Just kidding, also harmless.  But still.  hahaha.

So I'm gonna go now.  I'll leave you with those faces.  Very visual post today, huh?  I kinda like it.  Though the perpetual image hunting gets a little old... Oh well.

Ta ta!
--Emily Renae

I am sad and lonely.

I am apparently also moderately socially inept, and I never realized it.  If anyone else did, I really appreciate them saying something.

I went to an ice cream social thingy in the freshman boys' dorm earlier this evening.  The girl to boy ratio was for real 6:1.  And everyone that was there only talked to the people they already knew.  Since I knew nobody, it was excrutiatingly awkward and made me feel even lonelier--the feeling started this morning.  About the time I got out of the shower...

I decided to play my flute in one of the vast expanses of grass outside because I wanted to play and it was beautiful.  Only everyone kept staring at me like I was a frickin' alien and it was extremely awkward.  And then a very nice girl came up whose name I very unfortunately forgot and we talked for a bit.  Even that was slightly awkward though... oh well.

I lost my keys briefly.  They were actually just tucked into a pocket with my gum in my purse.  But do you THINK I looked in the pockets with gum?  No.  Not for 15 of the most panic-filled minutes of my life.  Well, okay, not really.  But I was kind of terrified and I didn't want to call anybody to tell them that I lost not only the key to my dorm room but also my car.  Because that would mean I was totally screwed and I didn't want to admit to that.  Luckily, I found the frickin keys and survived.

I woke up with my period this morning.  And within a couple of hours had some of the worst cramps of my life and my entire body was achy and I was tired and sore.  I could barely stand up straight.  I don't know why this is happening to me.  Periods never used to be anything but periodic annoyances.  They didn't hurt.  They weren't anything but a fluid excretion.  Now they carry all the lovely shit-eating side effects that other women complain about.  I'm really crabby.

I swear to God I'm hearing an elephant from somewhere. I don't know if someone's watching a nature channel or what but it's really getting EXTREMELY annoying.  Maybe I'm just short-tempered tonight. =/

I picked up 13 Reasons Why in Barnes & Noble today.  Sat down in a chair and read the first chapter.  It both pissed me off and ripped open the scab on my heart and plunged me into a level of emotional pain that I put it back down on the table and left.  I may eventually go back to it.  Because I am intrigued by it as well.
Hannah Baker killed herself by taking an excess of drugs.  Before doing so, she recorded 6.5 cassette tapes (you can record on both sides of a tape--6 full tapes plus one more half-full) with 13 reasons why she killed herself.  Hence the title.
It just... it pissed me off.  For a handful of reasons, I guess.  It's difficult to explain and I'm not sure I wish to try.  But it also really saddened me, and not just because of the loss that I've experienced.  Again, it's difficult to explain and I won't try.  But I can't decide if I'm actually going to read it or not.  I would like to know what the other 11 reasons are.  Who the other 11 people are.  I just don't know if I can.

I just spent the last couple of hours at a friend's house.  I walked like, 12 blocks to get to the connecting street where he met me (the timing was actually quite perfect, no lie) just to get a hug.  I was on the brink of tears, though I don't think he noticed.  And it was a number of things, but I suppose that predominantly it was my utter loneliness and having had the lid yanked off of my emotional hurricane.  So we sat around and talked for awhile and I feel better now.  Not quite as lonely.  Not really as sad.  Experiencing longing for things I thus far can't have.  At least don't have.  But it's manageable.   I wish my room had air conditioning.  VITAMINS!  I have to go take them.  2 minutes...

I just hit my head on the light fixture getting down from my bed and my knee on the dresser thingy getting back up.  How the heck am I this talented?  Jeez.

I take vitamin E because it's good for my skin, and I need all the help I can get.  I take acidophilus because it's the bacteria culture in yogurt and thus is good for my digestive tract, where, again, I need all the help I can get.  My digestive system gets all screwed up when I go elsewhere and start eating newish stuff.  It's weird, but also extremely uncomfortable and equally as annoying.  I take a women's multi-vitamin.  I have no idea what's in it, but my mom takes them and I figured that considering my eating habits (not good; I skip a lot of meals and stuff) it would probably be a really good idea to help keep my body better balanced.

The internet here is a pain in my ass.  I hate it SO much.  I can't get onto the secure network because it tells me there's too many people or something and the administration needs to remove unused addresses.  Something like that.  And the nonsecured network is flippin retarded.  Half the time my computer can't even connect to it.  You have no idea how frustrating it is.

I just admitted to liking someone without actually intending to... not to them, but in public form... aaaaand it's likely he's going to see it... Now the question is do I remove the whole thing or leave it and let him see it?  Do I have those kinda balls? (Metaphorically, of course.  I am obviously physically without testicles, and I much prefer it that way.  But we're going for the metaphor, here.  I'm all for metaphors.)  But do I really have that kind of nerve?  Am I really that brave?  On one hand it totally throws it out there that I like him.  (As if he didn't already know.  The only way he could be oblivious is if he's doing it on purpose.  Which... is possible. Even likely, I suppose.  Sigh.)

Why don't you be the artist and make me out clay?  Why don't you be the writer and decide the words I say?  Cause I'd rather pretend I'll still be there in the end.  Only it's too hard to ask; won't you try to help me?

I have marching band rehearsal at 9 in the morning.  And it goes most of the day.  I have to wear extremely ugly black shoes.  I don't know if I have to wear them tomorrow but I'm just going to to break them in.  So odds are I'll have at least one or two blisters by the end of the day.  Yay.

I finally found my favorite bra the other day.  It's got like, the most padding I've ever seen in a bra.  I swear to God it adds like, 2 cup sizes.  Probably more like just one healthy size.  Because it so doesn't give me Ds.
Why am I talking about my bras/boobs on my blog? =S

You can tell it's been one hell of a day.

I'm not convinced I like living away from home.  I mean, I'm sure I'll be fine once classes start and the balls get rolling.  But like, right now?  I'm not thrilled.  It'll be better once my roommate gets here.  I hope. And pray. I'm just deciding it's going to be better because I need it to be.  And I will bloody MAKE it better.  Because it has to be.  I don't know why anyone would want a single room.  I think I would go insane.

I live on the 5th damn floor of my building!!! D=  Our elevator is broken.  My legs and the balls of my feet are crying.  Earlier, I was standing on one foot and had my toes on the ground and whatever on my other leg, and it started shaking.  Like, not just the little shivering/quivering thing.  SHAKING.  I put my other foot on the ground before anyone else could see it because I was embarrassed.  The tops of my thighs hurt, too.  So I obviously don't just go up to my room whenever for no reason.  If I'm going to take all 5 damn flights of stairs I'd better have a damn good reason to go to my room.  UGH. 5 flights.
I am going to have some DAMN sexy legs by Christmas, yo.  5 flights plus my resolution to exercise and diet?  I'd better look REALLY good by Christmas. =/

And all the while I say too much of what I think.  And I can't remember what it's like to find meaning in anything... for the life of me.
And all I ever wanted was so far from what I need.

I don't like sleeping on bottom bunks... but I'm not sure I want to be on the top one.  I kinda think that when my roommate gets here we need to rearrange and unstack the beds.  But I'll wait for her to get here.

I took a nap with the dolphin pillow pet that my parents bought me when I got my wisdom teeth out.  He's a pretty cuddly buddy.  I named him Jackson.  Don't ask why.  He's cute though.

Hm... I just noticed that most of my stuffed animals are male...weird... Maybe not, if you get all psychological about it, I suppose.  Whatever.  I'm sick of getting philosophical.  I had a big musing earlier about the way people see each other.  And me... I may get to that some day.  Hard to say.

One of the girls in my dorm has eyelashes for her car's headlights.  Yes, I'm serious.  Google them.  It's ridiculous.  It's hilarious, actually.  I laughed--out loud and everything--when I saw them.  And then took a picture with my phone, which I sent to my mother because we'd talked about them quite awhile back.

I'm so sick of being hot. =/  This building needs frickin air conditioning.  And/or I need shorter hair.  I will not be getting a pixie cut.  Sooooooooo I guess I'm screwed.  I slept on top of my covers and everything last night.  I will again tonight.  But tonight I'm leaving the window open in hopes that it'll cool off overnight.  I'll likely wake up frozen. *nods* yep. Welcome to my life.

It's 1.10 am... and I have marching band rehearsal at 9.  I'm intending to get up at 7.35.  I have to shave my legs. I don't particularly care to.  I sort of doubt I'll actually bother to do it........ Again: Welcome to my life.

My mattress creaks every time I move.  I am not enthused.

I see much better with my glasses on.  Letters are shaped better (astigmatism; gotta love it) and clearer and everything... but A) they get so slimy so easily and B) they get really annoying to wear sometimes.  And I LIKE glasses. =/  Oh well.

All the cracks they lead right to me and all the cracks will crawl right through me.  And I fell apart...

Anyway......... I think that's enough, don't you?

Paul!

 Paul!

I just watched this last night with my parents.  The unrated version.  Which really was not all that... like... I don't know, disgusting?  So I wonder what was in it that wasn't in the theatrical version.

I actually really, really enjoyed this movie.  It's a definite leave-your-brain-at-the-door, but it never breached into the realm of forget-you-ever-had-one [a brain].  This is how we classify stupid/silly movies at my house. LBAT and FYHO for short.  (No, we don't really use the acronyms; I totally just made that up on the spot.)

Anyway, it's about a couple of nerds from England (Clive and Graeme, pictured left and right in the poster) that come to America to go to Comic-Con and then go visit all the famous alien sites.  Some black mailbox, Area 51, New Mexico, et cetera.

While they're on the road, they end up getting themselves into a number of strange situations, including watching Paul (the alien, for anyone who doesn't know) crash a car in front of them.  It only gets worse from there.  And by worse, I mean more hilarious.
The FBI is after Paul--as far as you know, to capture and kill him.  This is actually why Paul is on the run; he's trying to get back home.  The thing is, he had/has someone on the inside that was/is helping him, it's just that everything's turned out to be a major fiasco.

But okay.  So that's the general plot. I won't say too much lest I drop a spoiler, and nobody likes a spoiler.  I would just really like to say that if you pay attention, there are a thousand references to Star Wars and Star Trek throughout this movie that are absolutely spectacularly funny if you understand or recognize them.  I'm pretty sure I made myself sound like a huge nerd just now by insinuating (correctly!) that I caught/recognized them, but you know what, if you haven't figured out how impossibly nerdy I am by now, you're dreadfully hopeless. hahahah.
Now I don't even want to talk about the one I was going to talk about. Sigh. Never mind.

Oh.  But the thing is.  These two guys are really good friends.  And you know how guys get when they're really close.  So while they're traveling, everyone thinks that they're 'together'.  As in gay and together.  Which they aren't.  It's kind of funny at times and a little sad at others.  Backtrack: sad that everyone just assumes that two men traveling together must be 'sleeping' together.  (Hate that term; there's never much sleeping going on... just sayin)



Anyway, that's all I have time for today for reasons I shan't specify online. (=  Because that's how I roll.

I hope a movie review was sufficient for the day.  If not... well, tough shit, eh?

Ta ta!
--Emily Renae

Coninuation of Last Post

Onto literature!  Because the music post got WAY too long.

Phenomenal Girl 5: A. J. Menden


HAH! The cover makes it even worse! HAHAHAHA!!!!!


Okay.  This purchase was a complete accident.  I downloaded a preview of it onto my Kindle and was still a n00b and therefore trying to figure out how to get it off and accidentally bought it... and then got off the screen to cancel it before I could manage.
I gave my mother $5 for this purchase.  Ugh.

And oh my gosh, can you read what it says on the bottom of the cover?  "Love can be super rough" *cackle* Wtf... Romance novels. My God.



It's... It's... bloody terrible, that's what it is.  I mean, it's got some interesting plot elements, I guess, but it's like... really, guys?  Come on.


It's about superheroes--there's it's first strike, right?  And it's supposed to be a romance novel--strike two.  And we haven't even gotten into it yet.
So Lainey Livingston, aka "Phenomenal Girl 5" (there were 4 ahead of her apparently and apparently they recycle names; whatever) is trying to get into the EHJ--an acronym I can't remember something about Hands of Justice. don't ask for the E--and has to train for 2 years with "The Reincarnist," a guy that keeps coming back as a 20 year old every time he dies.  And he's been around a very long time.  I'll just bet you can see where this is going, can't you?  Yes.  She has the hots for her boss.
Only--surprise!--just as soon as they realize they have something, he dies and is reincarnated and have to start over again. Because he can't remember her and there's a major miscommunication that could've been resolved just by, ya know, communicating? And blah blah blah.
AND THEN!  Wait til you hear this.  Their romance has the power to bring about the end of the world. HAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  It's so so painstakingly... just... I don't even know if it's cliche or what it thinks it is but it's just awful!


And I read this thing!!


Oh well.  It had some cute moments.  The 'sex scenes' were totally skipped over and alluded to so it's kinda like... meh.  I don't know.  It wasn't miserable to read the thing.  But I can assure you that I mostly only read it for the comedic value.  I wasn't hanging on "suspense" or dying to know what happened.  I already knew what was going to happen.  I called most everything a couple of chapters ahead.  It's okay.  It was entertaining nonetheless.  I don't always look for something that's gonna cause me duress while reading. hahaha


But gosh; just look at that cover, would you?  Pffhahahahaha.  I cannot believe I read that.  Tara would die laughing.  I just know it.  Clare, how are you doing?  Okay?  Good.  Just checking.

Forever: Maggie Stiefvater


This is the last book in the Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy.  I just bought it on Wednesday.  It came out last month. Like... 2 weeks ago or something.  I haven't started it yet.


Why do I blog about stuff I don't technically know anything about?  Hahaha.  I don't know.  But I guess I'm just excited to have it.


In the first book, Sam is a werewolf but finally gets his chance to meet Grace, the girl he's loved for a very long time.  But his time is short, and so they try to find a cure.
In book two, Grace is having health issues.  She's also having family issues, because her parents decided all of a sudden to parent, never mind that they haven't been for the past several years.  Her parents really pissed me off in this book, I won't lie.  There are also more characters that were brought into this book and I'm curious to see how they play out roles in Forever.
Book two ends on a major cliff hangar, one I wasn't really surprised at her making but was still kind of annoyed by.  I hate cliff hangars.  I'll go buy the next book even if I'm not left hanging from three fingers and I can't tell if there's a ledge just below me or not.  You know?  But that's me.
Anyway.  so Forever has a lot of ground to cover.  I'm confident that it'll manage, though.  Maggie Stiefvater has swiftly become a trusted author in my repertoire and I look forward to finding more of her material. (=
But this is probably what I'll queue up next for literary experiences.  Even though... I have 90-some other books to read... oops.  My bad.  Oh well.

Paper Towns: John Green


So I bought this book... John Green intrigues me.  There's just something there.
Anyway, I bought this book on Wednesday as well and haven't started this one either.  I'll get there.
But this guy has a crush on a girl he really doesn't know (but is pretty sure he thinks he knows from the sounds of it) but admires from afar until one night she shows up and invites him on shenanigans.  Who doesn't go with the girl they're secretly in love with for shenanigans in the middle of the night!?  So that could be interesting.
Well, the rest of the novel is apparently supposed to be about how she leaves him clues to get to know her better and--surprise!--he realizes that he really doesn't know her at all and she's not who he thought she was.
We never are.
So I'm interested to see how it goes.  It feels like it'll be a little more in-depth than Looking For Alaska--which I am reading and is going very well, by the way.  But as writers gain experience and et cetera et cetera our material gets better. Go figure. haha.  So we'll see!




Okay!  So that covers music and books.  Now I suppose we're on to me.
My wisdom teeth came out on Wednesday!  (Right after I bought 11 CDs and 2 books.  Yes, really.)  All four of them.  Gosh.  I do not remember going out... at all... Which is vaguely creepy.  I don't like it.  I remember the exact moment I went out when I broke my arm, and that was over 10 years ago now.  But I don't remember going out on Wednesday.
When I woke up, a nurse was strapping cold packs onto my head.  My blood pressure reader thingy ripped itself off of my arm and then screamed because Oh no! Emily doesn't have blood pressure! but I did it just didn't know it.  and I had this overwhelming, inexplicable urge to cry.  For no reason!  The nurse said that the drugs do that to some people, and I'm taking her word for it because it makes me feel better.  But it was horrible!
I managed to contain myself most of the rest of the day, but that night, man I just couldn't help it.  And I don't mean leaking some tears cry.  I mean like CRYING crying--on the verge of sobbing crying.  It was miserable and really frustrating and I was so mad.  And I couldn't do a damn thing about it.  My face didn't even hurt yet!
But I think it was just from the anesthetic and extra drugs trying to leave my body because I was fine in the morning and haven't cried since.
They had me on some pretty heavy-duty drugs actually.  Oxycodone every 4 hours, high-dose ibuprofen and high-dose amoxicillin every 8 hours.  I quit taking the oxycodone yesterday afternoon and have been mostly fine so I probably don't need it.  I took one last night when I went to bed, though, because my jaw hurt so damn bad.
I'm okay this morning though.  At least I seem to be.  I don't know, the drugs have had some really weird side-effects.  Like, I think I'm slightly allergic to the oxycodone because it made my skin itch like MAD.  Specifically my torso area.  So that was annoying.  But that stopped too, and I'm not sure if it was the oxycodone or not because I didn't itch when I took it last night.  Who knows.

I'm supposed to go to work tomorrow.  That could be... rough.  It will probably be very rough, actually.  I'm not thrilled for it.  I wish I hadn't told him I could work on Sunday.  It was probably a really dumb idea.  Oh well.  I'm [not] sure I'll be fine.

Anyway, so that's what I've got.  I think my CD comments were a little more... unhappy than usual.  I wasn't in the best of moods last night while writing them I suppose.  But you give a good review when your mouth hurts!  And I did mean what I said.  So whatever.  They can cope.

Yawning hurts like a mofo.  No lie.  My jaw is extremely stiff and I think it pulls on the stitches a little bit.  I don't know.  But my face hurts.  Don't tell my mother.  I'll be fine.

Anyway, I think I'ma call it quits now.  So ta ta.
--Emily Renae

Lots to Discuss

Mainly in the realm of music, but a little in literature as well.  And I suppose I could get you up to speed on a couple other things too.  But first up is music!

Every Avenue: Bad Habits

This... was kind of a disappointment after their last album, actually.  It's less upbeat.  Not as happy.  Don't get me wrong, I understand going through phases and stuff, but man.  They were such a happy band before.  And now... Well now they're not.

The music is still good, I guess.  I like it. Don't get me wrong.  It's just not the fun, upbeat EA music I was hoping for when I bought the CD.
3 of 5, guys.  Sorry.

H.I.M.: SWRMXS

I think it's supposed to be Screamworks, actually... but I'm not sure how the hell you're supposed to get that out of those letters.  Where do you get a W in that? "wtf to that."

And it doesn't even... sound like H.I.M.   I mean, not that I consider myself an expert in H.I.M music or anything, but jeez.

It's interesting, I'll give it that.  It's like, remixes or something.  It's not bad.  Just... well, probably only worth the $5 I spent on it.  (Which is the only reason I bought it: it was on sale for $5.)

Kra: Twinkle Star BEST 2006-2009

They're a Japanese band.  So they're a little weird.  But they're not bad.  (This is another CD I bought because it was on sale for super cheap.)  Interesting, without a doubt.  It can get a little bit annoying, but... I haven't found a Japanese band that doesn't yet.  So... ya know.

I just like the album art!  This little boy is adorable and he's all over the album. (=

Want the truth? I bought this album because it was a Japanese band with a cute little kid on the cover and it was super cheap.  That's it.  That's the entire reasoning behind this purchase.  I do these things.

The Lonely Island: Turtleneck & Chain

Truth time:
A) The album title totally comes from "I Just Had Sex" ft Akon.  And I rather like that song... hahaha

B) I'm kind of experiencing slight buyer's remorse over purchasing this album.  Yes, Lonely Island is amusing and their music really isn't bad.  But... honestly, I'm not convinced I like Lonley Island that much...  Oh well.  Too late now.  It's not bad, anyway.  And I do kinda like it.  I just feel kind of silly about the fact that I actually bought it.

 Owl City: All Things Bright and Beautiful

Okay, so I actually bought this one quite awhile ago.  It's kind of the oddball out today, because it's the only album I didn't buy on Wednesday. (Yes, all 11 others I purchased at one shot on Wednesday afternoon.  Don't look at me like that.  Other people spend that amount on clothes frequently.  I don't buy this much music frequently.)
Anyway.
It's cute.  It's good. It's Owl City.  He's come such a long way.  His lyrics have too.  By "he" I mean Adam Young, of course.  He's adorable. He's Minnesotan! (=  Love it.  He makes me happy.  Owl City makes me happy.  Very happy indeed.  I now own... 4 Owl City albums, because I bought 2 of the slightly oldish EPs.  Which also make me very happy.
And another thing I love is that it manages to still be the Owl City I know and love but have grown up and matured and evolved.  Like bands are supposed to do.  Stagnation isn't a good plan, if you ask me.  Adam Young has come a long way from writing silly songs in his basement.  I look forward to a future with Owl City in it.  (My future has lots of Owl City in it because it's feel-good music.  And I need that sometimes.  With 6 years of college ahead of me, you can bet I'm going to need some pickmeup music.)

Silverstein: Rescue

"And if my body makes it out, Unscathed and safe from broken vows--A promise broken leaves me holding on.  I just can't get a hold of Why we always hurt the ones we love; Can burning hearts still keep us strong?"
--Burning Hearts (Track 1)

There's always been something about Silverstein that just... hits me.  They have something to say.  They've always had something to say. And it's relevant and it actually means something.  Also, it's not frustratingly cryptic.  And I like that.

I haven't listened to Silverstein in awhile.  I'm not sure why I took such a hiatus, but I guess I do that sometimes.  It's hard to explain.  Though probably not hard for you to comprehend when I own 300+ CDs, huh?  Yeah... hahaha.  Anyway.  I like Silverstein.  And like with Owl City, it's managed to be distinctly Silverstein without being just more of the same.  You know what I mean?  I feel as though I never adequately explain the difference between being "more of the same" and distinctly a band's sound but progressive... sorta... The former is bad, the latter is good.  If you have questions comment and I'll try to do a better job.

Bands should sound like themselves.  Owl City randomly jumping to like, hardcore or something, would piss me off because it wouldn't be Owl City anymore.  But if Owl City kept doing the same Fireflies style music album after album after album (even though the album containing Fireflies is totally far more dynamic than just that one song just saying) then it would stagnate and that would be more of the same, which, as I've made clear, is bad.  Better?  Gosh, I hope so.

Simple Plan: Get Your Heart On

Still Simple Plan. Not more of the same.  Every album from this band seems to progress thematically, conceptually, dynamically-everything.  They just get better.  This is a band that allows its listeners to grow with them.

I like it when bands portray their personal growth in their material. Because hello guys, this is what should be coming out in your music.  At least if you ask me.  Music shouldn't just be a job for these people.

And it isn't for Simple Plan (before I get off topic).  These guys have come a long way from the whiney teenagers (sorry guys but it's true) that they started out as.  Don't get me wrong; I loved them as whiney teenagers, too. But I'm also really glad that they aren't still trying to be whiney teenagers just because they may have been at one point.  This CD was an excellent buy, and I don't really care what haters have to say about my taste in music.  By now you should be used to surprises.

I have old Simple Plan songs stuck in my head right now.... Oh dear.

Sparks the Rescue: Worst Thing I've Been Cursed With

Talk about an album title, eh?  Interesting cover as well.

I actually was really hoping when I found this album that Hot Topic would also have a back album from Sparks the Rescue (aka Eyes to the Sun) but they didn't.  Oh wellz.

For some reason... I thought StR was a little... well, happier than they are.  At least this album isn't all that happy.  I like it.  I'm not complaining this time.  (Partly because I have no back albums to have previously fallen in love with before listening to this just to be disappointed.)  Anyway.  I like it.  I think that the music has depth as well as the lyrics.  It's not all just random gobbledygook like bands manage to throw together these days and call lyrics. Maybe I'm just not as open to interpretation as other people seem to be?  Shrug.

The Starting Line: Somebody's Gonna Miss Us

This is apparently a live album, which I don't think I exactly realized when I bought it because I apparently wasn't paying enough attention.  It's also the last live show this band played (supposedly) before calling it quits.

For the record, I just cracked my neck and felt it in my fingers.  It was kind of uncomfortable. Just saying.

Anyway.  They're good.  For not really knowing their studio material, they're pretty good live.  I like it.  Even listening to them talk to the audience some (live performance albums; gotta put up with it) is tolerable.  They don't curse in excess (not much at all) and they aren't, like, stupid. hahaha
I like a band that can impress me live.  So much editing is done in studio these days.  Did you know Fall Out Boy sucked live for ages?  They were good on CD but not so much on stage.  Which is kind of sad, if you think about it.  They're better now, though.  But... I just got totally off-topic again.  Sorry.

Theory of a Deadman: The Truth is...

This was a recommendation from one of the clerks at Hot Topic.  Because she knows how much I love music and is surprised when I can make it out of the store without buying a new CD. hahaha. (They know me there well enough to make recommendations; how sad is that?) (Both sad and awesome, actually... thin, thin line...)
Anyway, it's good.  It's the only Theory album I own, which is fine.  I've never been like, full-body into them.  But I like them, yes.
It's a good rock album.  If you're looking for solid rock, then this is an album you should look into.  Low Life is a good song.  I'm a fan.
Thank you Hot Topic salesclerks for helping me spend my money. hahaha

There for Tomorrow: The Verge

Boy did this band change when I wasn't looking!  Their entire sound changed.  It's a bit harder, a bit more direct rock instead of the alternative they were before.  It's... interesting. And it was surprising.  Not really in a bad way, I suppose, though it's not quite what I was hoping for in my next TFT album.  Ah well.  There are worse things they could've done.  It's still a good album.  Even though their sound changed, they at least changed it to something they're capable of doing well.  I approve, and it was good enough to cancel out my slight disappointment.  Remember what I said about moving forward?  Sometimes they do it without your permission. hahahaha.

Various Artists: Electric Daisy Carnival Volume 2

It's Dubstep!  Apparently.  That's what Windows Media Player says, anyway.  I just bought it because it was a cheap mixed CD and it looked like electronica.  Is it just me or do I have some bad reasoning for buying stuff sometimes?  So I like to explore music.  Sue me.
Don't.

Keri Hilson is in one of the songs though... With an Alex somethingorother I do believe.  As if that was even remotely helpful. hahaha.  It's electronica. Some of them are remixes, I think, but I'm not 100% positive. I'm not keeping up on my random knowledge as much as I used to so I'm not quite as helpful.  Sorry.

The Cascade Sun: A Scene a Sailor'd Give His Eyes For

Putting the 'd on Sailor is not grammatically correct. For the record.  But it's okay because we speak in random contractions all the time and they have to be attached to something.  Sailor works just as well as anything.

ANYWAY!
The Cascade Sun is a local band from Minot, ND.  I'm pretty sure most if not all of the members are attending Minot State University.
The drummer is cute. Just throwing that out there.  (Not exactly as though it matters, really, but it's the truth anyway and I'm nothing but honest with you guys.  This is not a post I will be publishing to my Facebook wall. hahahaha)
Moving along.

I don't own this album yet.  It's not available as a CD yet.  It's available on iTunes, Zune, Napster, and Spotify--whatever that is--but I don't use any of those... soooo that doesn't help me any. hahaha.  That's alright though, because I'll get my hands on it in short order.  (= 
I'm just really proud of these guys for managing to produce a legitimate album.  They're a really good band and I think that they have a lot of potential to go really far if they decided it was something they honestly wanted to do.  If you have iTunes or any of the aforementioned programs, I urge you to go download this album and listen to it.  It's not that expensive, and it's really worth your time. =]  I promise.

Anyway, this post got a bit too long so I split it in two.  I'll see you on the other side.

That sounded stupid but I'm too lazy to go back and delete it.  So just cope.
Ta ta!
--Emily Renae