Lookit Lookit

I'm back! After a month. =/  Yeah yeah, I know.  Sorry.  I just got busy doin' other stuff and never really had a whole lot worth actually babbling about.  But now I have a few things that I can mention. (=

Okay! So first up, I'ma give you a glimpse into one of my... well, you could call it an obsession if you like.

I have 318 CDs in my possession.  (Well... I'm not sure of the exact location of a couple, but that's beside the point.)  As of today, anyway.  (I bought 3 more when my mother wasn't looking.)  Now, I have not bought them all.  I've been given a number of them, won a handful, and... somehow acquired others.  (I didn't steal them.)
Anyway.  Of these 318 CDs, I have many artists that make multiple appearances.  30 Seconds to Mars, Alesana, and Anberlin all have 3 albums that have made their way into my collection; AFI and Kutless appear 6 times each (though Kutless is a cheater because in order to get one album, I had to rebuy another.  One of those 2-disc deals? I didn't want to but I wanted that dang album! hahaha).  Just to name a few.
And a lot of my music is really random, but most of it's pretty good.  I still actively listen to most of it. (=

Don't judge me.

The albums I bought today are as follows:

Forever Ended Yesterday: These Hearts

This is a "pop-core"--at least I think that's the proper term...--band from...wait for it... Fargo, North Dakota! Oh my gosh, right!?  They're signed to Victory Records with A Day to Remember (who totally rock if you didn't already know that) and Hawthorne Heights.

(By the way... all of these bands have hyperlinks to their websites.  So you have no excuse to not go check them out, unless you're A) lazy, B) lame, or C) really just don't care... in which case you probably kinda suck. (just kidding))

Anyway.  Pop-core.  Basically... power-pop/alternative pop/rock music with some screaming here and there.  That's the best way I have to describe it.  Sorry if that's not good enough.  Go listen to These Hearts if you wanna know! They're a great example.  And I really mean that.  Fo' realziez.
Oh yes. Yes, I just went there.

*Ahem* Right.  Anyway, so These Hearts are actually a Christian band, but they're not all up in yo' face about it, which is something I really like--as I'm positive I've mentioned before.  One of the tracks is titled Romans 15, so I mean, it's kind of obvious they're sending a message, but even still, it's not all "praise Jesus, or you're going to hell, you sinner!"  Which is annoying as hell; no lie.
They're more like "Accept and welcome Jesus/God into your life and good stuff happens because God is an awesome, all-powerful (omnipotent--to get some vocab in there) God and He loves us all very much.  So love the life you live because you're obviously doin' something important."  And it's not up in your face!  It's just there. (=
Who doesn't want to be told that someone big and really important totally loves you even though you're a real screw up?
Don't answer that.

Anyway.  I watched them live in Minot last fall at Rock the Leaves (our website if you're curious) and they put on a really fun show.  I thoroughly enjoyed watching them.  That being said:
The message is good.  The songs are fun and energetic.  The band is great.  Give 'em a shot; what have you got to lose?  Time?  Come on; you're here... reading this... Gimme a break. hahahahaha

 Anyway.  Moving along toooooooooooo

  All Things Bright and Beautiful: Owl City

These days, who hasn't heard of Owl City?  Adam Young is everywhere.  And with good reason, in my opinion.
The guy is cute, creative, fun, energetic, amusing, and has a great voice.  He writes feel-good songs that get stuck in the head relentlessly, but it's okay, because they're easy to bop to.
Yes, I just said bop. As in a verb. Shut up.

*cough* "What was that...?  Oh, sorry."
Anyway, the joy of Owl City lives on with this new album.  I really like it. (=  Not sure I've ever not liked anything of Adam's, though, sooooooo... ya know how it goes. hahaha

Warped Tour Compilation album 2011: Various Artists

It has Paramore on its cover! Yayy Haley Williams!
I like her, okay?  She's cute.  Kind of a girl-crush thing goin on there, but that's another story...

Anyway.  One of the things I love about Warped Tour compilation albums is that they're always totally loaded with music and are super cheap to buy.  Like, it has 50 songs on it (therefore 50 bands) and it was $7.  And I'm 100% for real.  It's great!
I <3 Hot Topic. (=

Anyway.  It's got everything from metal and screamo to power pop to acoustic stuffs (I think...) to whatever.  It's fun.  Definitely worth $7.  Even if half of the music is... well, not amazing. hahaha.  Which happens...frequently... Anyway...

Lemme think... Oh! I know who else I should talk about!

Wires...And the Concept of Breathing: A Skylit Drive

This is actually ASD's first album (well, studio album, and as far as I know--but I'm pretty sure).  I really really like them.  A lot, as a matter of fact.

I don't really know how to tell you what they sound like, to be honest.  There's some screaming, but there's a lot of singing.  There's fast stuff and kinda slow stuff.  Pretty intense guitars.  Good drums.  I really like them.  And this album in particular.
I don't have Adelphia, but I do have Identity on Fire, which is the newest album.

I would like to tell you to go look them up.  And yes, by all means, do it.  If you don't like them what are you out?  A minute and a half?  You're out more than that just by reading this thing.  It's so full of useful information, after all.  (It could be, realistically, but I digress.)

Anyway.  Yes.  A Skylit Drive.  They're interesting.  Good, though.  I rather like them.  Give 'em a shot.  What the hell?

Next up:

Vices and Virtues: Panic! At the Disco

Okay, so they've got the exclamation point back now.  I don't really get what's up with it exactly, but I don't feel so alone, because I was watching an interview with Brendon, and neither do they. hahahaha.  How's that for ya?

Anyway, this is the album that is what resulted post-splitting.  Ryan Ross took Jon Walker and went in a different direction, leaving Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith to run Panic on their own.  And quite frankly, I think it's working out a little bit better.  Don't get me wrong; I totally loved Ryan.  But... he really wanted to take Panic in a direction that I personally didn't feel Panic going.

They split amicably, as friends, before they hated each others' guts.  So at least there's no split-drama.  That's always annoying.

Anyway, the album itself is really fun.  It's got some really good tunes and the video for The Ballad of Mona Lisa is really great.  It shows a side of Brendon that I just love.

Me? Crush?  Nooooooo that's ridiculous.

*sneeze* Continuing on...
OH!!!
That's right. I just exclamation pointed times three.  Badass.  Be excited.

Dirty Work: All Time Low

I am absolutely positively 100% irrevocably in love with this band. (And Alex Gaskarth. Oh wait.)  If you haven't taken my serious advice and looked them up yet, do it.  Just bloody trust me and go listen to them.  This is album 5--including the live MTV thing--and I have them all and frequent the music on them.  All of it, not just most of it.  I don't think they have a bad song, honestly.  I'm in love with them.  Can anybody say favorite band?  Because I totally can.  (Well, one of a few, but I think this one may have hit tops.)

I've had the entire album--not just a song or two, but the entire album--stuck in my head all week.  It's been great.  I love hearing Alex Gaskarth in my head all day. hahahah.  (That was actually halfways sarcastic, but only half.)

I could really keep going on about music for quite awhile.  And then I also need to do a pretty major update on my reading material too.  I just don't have the energy to do it tonight.  So I'll hit you guys up with that... tomorrow... but that's probably a tad ambitious. hahahaha.

So, quickly before I go, life updates:
1. As of today, my face is adorned with glasses.  I shall post a picture with my literature post.
2. I dropped my phone in the sink in the mall today--full of water, of course--and now it's kinda...freaking out... I've got it in a bag of rice because I've been told it's supposed to suck out the moisture, but... I'm having some doubts.  And I'm nervous that I broke it. ='(  Here's hoping otherwise.  I'll keep you posted.
3. My brother is getting married on Saturday.  How cool is that?  I even like the girl.  That's cooler. (=  The in-laws?  Egh; not so much.  We've had issues.  But I guess ya can't have everything, huh?  (Long story; not getting into it.)
4.  I register for classes for college on the 21st.  I could post a schedule, but that might be opening myself up a little too much to creepers... stalkers... ya know. stuff like that.  So if I say anything, I'll say what I'm taking.
6. I have nothing else to add, which is why I skipped 5, because I only had four things to say and so #6 is that I have nothing to say for #5.  Is that lame?  Too overdone?  Sorry. My bad.

Anyway, it's late; I'm tired; I have a crazy weekend.  I'm out.

Ta ta!
--Emily Renae <3

Titles Kinda Bite, Yo

I never know what to put for post titles.  Therefore, titles kinda suck, yo.
haha.

Anyway.

So in my last post I kinda ripped on Lady Gaga for being all over the damn place, if you don't recall.  Changing nationalities and job descriptions and character descriptions.  Stuff like that.

And now that I think about it, I feel kinda bad.  And I totally take it back.  (Most of it.)  Because for real, who the hell knows who they are these days?  I don't know anyone that legitimately knows who they really are.  I'm serious.  And who says we have to be one thing all the time, anyway?  I definitely don't know who I am, am going to be, have been, etc.  Throughout it all I've been me, though.  And throughout everything, she's been Gaga.
Quite frankly, Lady Gaga has the right to be whatever and whomever she feels like,even if that's not the same person today as it is tomorrow or was yesterday.  You know?  It's just not fair to make anybody be one thing all the time.  And then we complain when they are!  "I bought an album, not 12 tracks of the same song" people say.  But then we get mad when they actually are diverse?  I beg your pardon?  People are stupid and judgmental and confining and I'm getting really sick of it.  I've been around too many of them for too long and I think that's my problem.  We're the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with--did you know that?  It doesn't always come out quite that way, but in general, and most of the time, you would be surprised by how accurate a statement it really is.  If you're hanging around losers, guess what you're becoming.  If you're around motivated, dedicated people, you're more likely to be, if even simply just to keep up.  So on and so forth.  I wish some of my friends would figure this out.

Do me a favor and never lose sight of your morals and core values.  The stuff you believe in.  Don't give up on it just because the people you're hanging out with right now aren't into that kind of thing.  It really just leads to dissatisfaction and everybody deserves to be comfortable within their own skins.  I have friends that do things I'm not into, and they know I'm not into it, and though they may not understand or agree with it, they at least respect it.  Most of them.

So basically, be whoever you want to be.  Go where you want to go and see what you want to see.  Say what you need to say to whomever you may need to say it.  Keep in mind that you have to take care of you before you can take care of others.  At the end of the day, it's you you have to sleep with.

Oh.  and by the way.

Eat the damn cookie.  You're never as fat as you think you are, and one little cookie is not going to make or break you.  Promise.

--Emily <3

Radio

I just started a new job at one of the convenience stores in town, and they have a boombox through which they play the radio in the store because the stereo system is down.  As if it weren't bad enough, it's on the country station.  I don't like country to begin with, and this dumb station only plays 13 songs with the occasional relief song.

Quite frankly, if I may have liked any of these artists even a little beforehand, I definitely don't like them now.
Taylor Swift, for example.  Put out a few good songs.  I didn't mind her so bad.  I could handle a Swift song here and there. But I have had to listen to "Mean" 4 times every single freaking day all freaking week, and I'm about ready to strangle somebody.  I came up with at least 2 violent parodies (toward the boombox; neither end well for the poor thing) to the chorus yesterday.
As if Mean four times a day weren't enough, they play this really really awful song that I think is probably called "Country Girls Shake it For Me" but I don't even give a shit what it's title is the song is so goddamn bad.  I HATE that song.  You can't even fathom the extent to which I hate that song.  It makes me embarrassed to live outside of a city, almost.  It's... just... bad.  It's just bad, okay?

A couple of the songs that play aren't so bad.  But, go figure, they're the ones that only play twice--maybe 3 times--a day.  And I don't even know what they are.  I don't do country music to begin with.  The radio is all that makes work slightly agonizing.  I have to be there at 6:30 every day and the radio is what makes work agonizing.  How pathetic is that?

And then there's some song where she's like "I showed my daddy my tattoo and he cried but said he loves me anyway" and it's like.. what??  Jesus Christ, woman.  I don't even know.  I just don't get country music.  It's not all bad.  Really. I know that.  But I am past sick of it.

Granted, listening to one of the pop stations really wouldn't be a whole lot better, because they play 26 pop songs all day long every day.  But at least they break up the regulars with old stuff and requests and less obnoxious commercials and have MUCH less obnoxious DJs.  Uggghhhh.

So basically, my point is that even though sometimes radio can make an artist... they can do a really damn good job of breaking one, too.  I don't know if I'll ever really be able to listen to T Swift again.  Not without practically hating her, anyway. hahahaha.  For one agonizing summer job.  Oh boy.

So that's all I've got for the day.  I know I haven't been talking about anything in my original plan, and I'm sorry that I've been actually going on about my own life lately, but I'll get back into my routine.  This happens when life drastically changes for me.  Oh well.

Ta ta.

--Emily

Weeeeellllll......

Yes... it's been...awhile... heh heh... Sorry.

Anyway.  It's technically still Monday, sooooo let's hit up mah music scene, shall we?  Awesome.  Let's hit it.

I--go figure--bought some more CDs the other day.  Start from the top:

Lady Gaga: Born This Way

Okay.  I really don't feel the need to defend my musical interests.  They are eclectic, out there, weird, random, fun, dark, interesting, this way and that way, and in general just all over the place.  I like what I like and that's just all there is to it.  And I like Lady Gaga... most of the time.
Tangent: My mom really hates the woman.  And it's really annoying because she keeps announcing how she doesn't have any talent and her only claim to fame is her bizarro fashion and the fact that she dances around in her underwear all the time and regularly forgets to wear pants.  Now, don't get me wrong, she's right on all counts but the first one.  Even my dad agrees that Gaga has talent.  I like her music--and so does he, interestingly enough--so it's kind of annoying to me when people just announce that artists they aren't fond of don't have talent...just because they don't like them.  I mean, sure, there are individuals who have no talent--*coughcoughRebeccaBlackcoughcoughcough*--but just because you might not like what they have to offer doesn't necessarily mean they suck. >>End Tangent>>

This album is interesting.  "I am my hair."  "I don't speak German but I can if you want me to."  "*insert random Spanish and something about Americano*" ...Remember when I said I like Lady Gaga?  Well... I do, I really do... But jeez, woman.

I posted on Facebook that I think she's having an identity crisis.  She's a stalker in Paparazzi, Italian in Alejandro, Mexican in Americano, German for Scheiße, a...whore in LoveGame... and I don't even know what she was going for in Telephone... (especially after watching the video. Oi.) Figure it out, Lady!!  But she probably can't really help it.  After all, she was "born this way." ;)


Kay, so maybe that wasn't very nice.  But she's so easy to make fun of.  And I already did state twice that I like her.  And I really do, but what good is someone if you can't poke a little fun at them, right? Exactly.


The album is worth a listen.  I'll give it that.  It's progressive.  It's fun and interesting.  It's music you can dance to in your room or your car, sing to when nobody else might be looking--or hell, in front of a crowd if you want.  But it's more Gaga.  She kinda defined her style with album one and even though she's been growing and changing and all, her sound is still there.  It's still Gaga.


Next!

The Afters: Light Up the Sky


This is Christian band that one of my friends introduced me to ages ago with a song called "Myspace Girl" I think.  It was cute.  Anyway.


I basically bought this album because of the title track.  It played on my Pandora.com station and I really loved it, soooo I bought more. (=


They're a really nice, Christian alternative pop band.  (More pop than alternative, but nevertheless.)  If you like fun, totally unoffensive (guaranteed) music, then The Afters are for you.  I like them.  It's good feel-good music. (=


Lastlyyyyyy!

Hyland: Weights and Measures


I'm pretty sure I brought up this band about a month or two ago when I was talking about local bands that had been signed and I was all excited.


It's a really, really good album.  It was $9 at Wal-Mart, and I totally suggest that you go buy it.  They're a group of really great guys and their music is inspiring, uplifting, easy on the ears, and kinda just makes you feel good.  They're Christian (and not Jesus freaks, which is nice) and they have (obviously) good messages.  They're never offensive or all up in your face about God, even when they're actively singing about Him and His grace and all.  I really like them, and their music, and I'm extremely proud of them like you wouldn't believe.  They've worked really hard to get this far and it definitely shows in this album. (=  Give it a listen.  Trust me.


Uhmmmmmmmmmmm... yeah.


So I graduated yesterday, in other news.  =D WHOOOO!!!  But for real, it's kind of exciting.  I made a butt-load of money--but I'm not saying how much cause that's not cool.  I have a zillion thank-yous to send which is going to be a total groaner job, but what can you do?  Exactly.  And I really am appreciative, don't get me wrong.  Yesterday was a really good day for me.
I only cried once during the ceremony, and it wasn't even anythign to do with graduation.  We play a slideshow of pictures--baby/toddler and family and stuff--during graduation of each of the seniors and when my pictures came up, I looked at my late little brother and I lost it.  I regained control of myself after a couple of minutes, but it hurt.  It still does hurt.  So that was the only not-cool part about graduation and everything.  I didn't get to share it with one of the people I loved the most.


But what can you do?  Life goes on, even when it ends and leaves a tear in vital places.  That's the hard part: learning how to live around the tear in your life.


Anyway.
It didn't even occur to me until after the ceremony and most everyone had already left that that had been it.  I was probably never going to see most of those people again--especially not all at once.  I wasn't going to get to have math classes with the same 6 people I've had math with for the past 2 years.  I'm not going to have to teach my best friend why you can "just switch variables like that" ever again.  I'm never going to get to roll my eyes at the sarcasm spewing forth from so many of my classmates again.  And though these are all things that I will miss, I'm not sad.  I've been ready to be done for awhile.  It's time for me to take control of my own life and I'm ready for that.  It'll be a little bit scary at times, I'm sure, trying to figure out just where the hell I'm going next, but it's time.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't experiencing a little trepidation--I love that word, by the way (just saying)--about all of this, but I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't entirely pumped by the prospect.  Because I'm both.  I'm a sea of conflicting emotions right now.  Welcome to my life.


Anyway... yeah.  I think I'm gonna call her a night now.  I start my job at 6:30 tomorrow morning--which is great...--so I need to get some sleep.  Someone make sure I post tomorrow, would you?  Kay thanks.

With love,
--Emily Renae <3

Music and Literature

Since I meant to post yesterday but then got distracted by a particular someone (*cough cough Clare cough cough*) and therefore missed Monday, I'll be making both posts tonight. (=  You're welcome.

I've bought 7 CDs in the past 2 days.  Yes, really.  I'll discuss all 7 today plus 2 others.  Sooooo yeah. (=

CD 1:

Tighter: Mindless Self Indulgence

They're... uhm... strange.  Windows Media Player calls it metal, but... uh... yeah.  I don't even really know how to describe it.  How about a little bit of a bio?  Okay.


They're a New York band that started 14 years ago (1997).  According to Wikipedia (which we all know is so desperately reliable): "Their music has a mixed style including punk rock, alternative rock, electronica, techno and industrial. Due to the style of their music lacking a definite genre, they coined the term 'Industrial Jungle Pussy Punk' to describe their music, but later, they denounced the term."

Don't ask me.  Listening to their music, I can detect strains reminiscent of Linkin Park, System of a Down, ICP, and... I don't know.  Something techno-ish?  It's hard to explain.  Quite frankly, I can't even pin down why I like them.  They're interesting. Kind of amusing to listen to.  Really weird... but then, if you look at my other music, I guess it's viable, huh?

Moving along.

CD 2:

Take Action; Vol 10

It's a Various Artists album for the Take Action Tour that takes place every summer and never comes anywhere near me.  Go figure.

Apparently they're raising money for... something... a charity.  I just can't remember which one.  I think it says in the PSA (track 1) but don't quote me on that.

I have Volumes 8, 9, and 10, and so far they've all been excellent. 8 and 10 have been 2 discs but 9 was only one.
And they're cheap!! I paid $7 for Volume 10, and it's got 31 tracks on it!  It's totally worth it.  I love them.
I've been meaning to see if I can find back albums, but so far no luck.  I think they only sell 2 albums at a time: last year's album and this year's. haha.  Ah well.  I'll just collect from Volume 8 on. (=

CD 3:

My Forever: He Is We

AGH! I'm so excited this band got signed. (=  They totally make my day.  She's got this sweet little voice (that isn't all that little) and their melodies are just pretty.  They have a softer sound and aren't really that intense at any point.  The songs are touching and just happy-making.

I whole-heartedly suggest this band.  I also suggest that you go on youtube or PureVolume.com and listen to their older songs.  Especially Radio aaaaaand I Wouldn't Mind.  And all of the rest of them. (=  It's worth your time--promise.

CD 4:

Lovestrong.: Christina Perri

She's pretty.  Straight up.  I'm kinda confused by the tattoos on her arm... like what's with the guy spread-eagled on a grid work... surrounding his limbs...?  I don't know.

Anyway.
Most of this album is kind of acoustic.  It's soft.  Laid back.  Simple, really.  It's got Jar of Hearts on it--I probably wouldn't have bought it without that song, honestly (not as though I couldn't just download it. But you know.)
I don't know.  If you like female vocals and soft(ish) music check her out.  I like it.  It's not my favorite or anything, but it's good.

CD 5:

Beneath It All: Hey Monday

It's their new EP.  New being operative since it's been out for a few months now.  I tried to preorder it but it never showed up. So I don't know what the hell happened, but I'm cranky.

Anyway.  It's good.  Not as good as their album, but that's my opinion.  The best song on the album is decidedly Wish You Were Here, at least in my opinion.
It's just more Hey Monday, I guess.  I don't know what else to say about it.  Don't get me wrong, I love them.  But... it's kinda just more of the same.  I mean, they've grown a bit, sure.  They're definitely more popular now than they were before.  Did Glee actually do Candles?  Or did that idea disappear when he kissed Curt?  I don't actually manage to watch the show, so I wouldn't know.  Random, I know. haha. Sorry.

CD 6:

Until We Have Faces: Red

They're a Christian metal/hard rock band.  And I love them.  The first track is a little too screamo for my tastes these days, but good nonetheless.  The vocalist has a really good voice and the lyrics are really deep.  I love listening to them.  There's this emotional connection for me.  But then, I'm kind of messed up, too, sooo... anybody's guess. hahaha.  Oh well.

It's a really good album.  If you like the harder side of rock, definitely check them out.  And don't let the Christian thing scare you away.  They aren't all up in your face about loving Jesus in their music.  Trust me.  I don't listen to that much because it annoys me too.  Yes, I love Jesus, and it's great that you do too.  Get out of my face about it.  Sometimes it's cool, but... there's a certain tact that a lot of bands lack.  So I don't know.  Whatever.

CD 7:

Suddenly Yours: Allstar Weekend

They're a pop band.  Somewhat akin to The Summer Set or The Ready Set or Go Radio or... what's another present-day boy band that isn't obnoxious that I can name? hahaha.
They're good.  Really.  It's a short album, but it's good.  It's just more run-of-the-mill alternative pop, though.  I don't know what the deal is, but half the pop bands--even the alternative pop bands--all sound the same again these days.  Maybe it's because they're moderately mainstream... Well, mainstream enough to have a poster in Wal-Mart at least.  (And on my wall.  Don't look at me like that; I needed a new poster for the hole where I kept ripping the other one down in my sleep. But that's a story for another day.)
Anyway.  If you like pop and boy bands, by all means, look into them.

Extra Band 1:

Kate Voegele

This is (clearly) the album cover for her "A Fine Mess" album, which I (obviously) own.  It's a phenomenal album, and I don't use that word lightly.  I've been listening to it repeatedly in the last couple of weeks.

She's beautiful, with a beautiful voice, and really good songs.  Some of them are fun, some have some serious attitude--99 Times specifically--and some of them are really touching--Angel, Sweet Silver Lining.  I'm particularly fond of all 3 of the aforementioned plus Who You Are Without Me.  I realize that's like, half the album.  But that's what I mean when I say she's phenomenal.  I don't always list half the album as the best, after all.  And that's not saying the other half isn't good, either! Because the entire thing is repeat-worthy.  (=

DEFINITELY take the time to look her up.  Just trust me.


I was going to talk about another extra artist, but I decided that this got long enough already.  So I'm just going to stop.  And I only really had 2 books to talk about anyway, so I'll just do it later.  Probably tomorrow... Or next week... hahahaha

So that's all I've got.  Ta ta! (=

--Emily <3

Post Playlist (my music library+Youtube):
I'm playing my CDs as I download them. (=

Grab the Mic--Mindless Self Indulgence
Tight--Mindless Self Indulgence
Stay Posi--Silverstein
Battle Scars--Bayside
Bad Newz Bearz--Four Year Strong
Alejandro--All Time Low
Lights Out (Acoustic)--We Are the In Crowd
Young (Acoustic Remix)--The Summer Set
Forever and Ever--He Is We
All About Us--He Is We
Bluebird--Christina Perri
Arms--Christina Perri (the video for this song is really strange, by the way. and doesn't really make any sense. The song itself isn't that great either. It's alright.  But ya know...)
Douche Bag--Mat Musto
7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)--Fall Out Boy
If You Only Knew--Shinedown
Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)--Vertical Horizon
Shape of My Heart--Backstreet Boys  Do not make fun of me.  I like them.  It's a connection to my childhood, too. hahahaha.  I'm not defending my musical interests from you.  I like what I like. Eat it.
Hush--Automatic Loveletter
I Heard It's the Softest Thing Ever--A Day to Remember
All of You--Vertical Horizon
Brainiac--Chevelle
Myself in Mirrors--Life on Repeat

Sunday

I don't think that there's much of anything that hurts more than watching your mommy break in half. Again. And again. And again.  Knowing that she's not done breaking, and neither are you.

I usually try to avoid talking about my personal life because nobody cares and I'm not looking for sympathy, but it's mothers day, and up until this year it had always been a happy occasion.  This year... it's just... cruel.

My younger brother committed suicide in October.  This has been the year from hell.  It doesn't get easier to handle with time.  It doesn't hurt less with time.  You don't just get over it.  You can't just move on.  Anyone who tells you these things has clearly never gone through this.
I reached a point where I could handle my own emotional trauma, my tangible pain, without dissolving.  But every time I see my mom sigh painfully, reminisce longingly, or cry... especially cry... I break.  I break into a million pieces and I completely shatter because I can't handle seeing my mommy hurt this badly.  I can't handle watching my mommy hurt.

There are days I don't even want to wake up in the morning.  Acknowledge the world or my existence.  I don't want to have to face my friends, family, classmates, teachers...  It just hurts too much.

The problem with life is that it keeps going, even when it ends.  The world has no choice but to continue flowing around the hole where my brother is supposed to be because the world has to continue.  The rest of the school, the town, has all but forgotten.  Even my friends seem to think that it's been long enough now that I should just be over it.  It's like they've forgotten that I'm a mess, or they think that I should have sorted myself out by now.  No one understands what I have to deal with, what I'm faced with every moment of every damn day.

We got ready together. We drove to school together. We listened to music together. We played video games together. He started my car. He drove when I didn't want to. We shared snacks and drinks. We argued like mad. We joked about random shit. We reminisced. We predicted the future. Our future.  We complained. We complained a lot...  We played in band together. We sang together. We ate together.

And now I do everything alone.  I get my own ass up.  I drive myself to school. I listen to my own music. I don't play video games. I eat my own food. I fight with myself. I fight with a future that is missing key components.
Every. Day.
And I have to watch my parents go through the pain of losing their child.  No parent should ever have to outlive their baby.  Ever.

Now, I'm going to go have coffee with them so we can commiserate.  Because life sucks for all of us, and it really isn't getting any better.  I pretend that I'm okay.  I pretend that I'm fine.  But honestly, I'm so fucking far from it that my life has become a lie.  Most of the time I manage.  Sometimes, like today, I just can't.

Everyone looks to me to be strong and to fight, but I'm just surviving.  I may be weak but I'm never defeated.  I'll keep believing in clouds with their sweet silver lining...
~Kate Voegele

Rah Rah Rah Wednesday

...I totally do not know where the "rah rah rah" business came from.  Sorry.  That was a little random.

Dude, does anyone remember what Wednesday's topic is supposed to be?  Erg. I'd better go check.

OH! PICK UP LINES!!!

Gasp.

Excuse me; I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Just sayin'... I was inches from using this one time.  No lie.  It may or may not actually work, but I think it would depend on how suave and debonair you happened to be. Hahaha.  Smooth.  Ya know.  Also it would depend on how creepy/desperate you were coming off as.  I don't know if you would actually get my number out of me or with this.  If it's not followed up by a conversation, I wouldn't count on it, probably.  But hey, it could be fun.

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Oh dear God. hahaha. 
Someone grab me a dictionary and define corny.
Even being the complete nerd/geek that I am, there's no way that I would be able to take someone seriously if they dropped this line. If we were already together and he let it fly I would laugh and it would be cute.  But to catch my attention?  Come on.  It's kind of cute, in a really dweebish way, I guess, and I can't help but laugh when I read it.  (Every time.)  But still.



Anyway.  That's basically all I've got, since I don't talk about my life.  Just my reading material and my music library.

OH!
Speaking of music!!

He is We signed!!!  Ages ago, I know.  But still!!! =D

I'm pumped.  Because they play on the radio and stuff.  They're great.  Super cute. Sweet. Fun. Gorgeous. Amazing.  The lyrics are deep.  The melodies are nice.  I listen to them for hours. =D

Go check them out.  And I mean it!




Now I'm done. haha.

Ta ta!
--Emily <3

Whoot!

I actually don't really have much cause to "whoot" right now, but it sounded pretty dang good for a title so we're goin with it!  Eat it.
Actually, I should probably be nice, because I have reached "whoot" status with the knowledge that I actually have readers! =D  Which means I'm totally not just talking to dead space anymore.  Which is nice.  Most definitely.

As an English major/Nazi/nerd/enthusiast/what-have-you, all of my fragments really kinda half-bother me... But as a writer, they're just part of the ball game.  It's kind of an internal war, actually... Same with words like 'goin' and 'kinda/sorta' and 'cause'... Ah well. =P

SO! I'ma talk about more books now.  Because books are fun to talk about.  And because a certain (beautiful) friend of mine (named Clare) said she needed new reading material.  This may or may not be of any assistance to the lovely lady, but it may be to anybody else that happens to stumble across me and find me as amusing as she miraculously does.

(By the way, Clare... I'm probably going to refer to you a lot now since I know you actually read this. hahaha.  See what you've done?) ;P

Actually, before I get to my reading material, I'ma talk about Clare just a little.  Nothing too personal like last names or anything, but I'ma share with the rest of you why she is so utterly awesome.
A.) Her name is Clare.  Like, come on.  that just automatically makes you cool.  And adorable.  Which she is, by the way.  I'm not going to share pictures, but she's super super cute.  Just trust me.
B.) She took 1st in Humorous Interpretation at state speech last year. As a junior. With this AMAZING speech called A Hotel is a Funny Thing.  (It might be "Hotels" not "A Hotel" but I don't remember and it hardly matters.)  She does an epic persnickety-British-man voice--which also totally makes her awesome on the spot, by the way--and the ease with which she just moved from one voice/character to the next was on the verge of astounding.
C.) She's seen every Vlogbrothers video ever recorded and even knows Hank Green's "Lady Lady John Green" song.  (It's from the first month of their videos like, 5 years back, if you decide to try and go find it.)  I don't think that the guy that introduced me to the Vlogbrothers even knows the "Lady Lady John Green" song. And she's read John's books.  I mean come on.
D.) She's going to this epic nerdfest in Orlando this summer--at which both Vlogbrothers will be present and I am immensely jealous for anyone curious--because her sister bought her tickets.  Which just totally makes her awesome by association.
Am I the only one associating "pure unadulterated awesomeness" with nerdiness?  Maybe.  But she's also super cute and immensely sweet and I just happen to love her to pieces.
Even though we've spoken like, 3 words to each other in person... Who said the internet was only good for porn?!  Hahahaha. (Avenue Q reference there... for anyone cool enough to catch that...)

Anyway.  Now that I've totally gone on about my beautiful and awesome friend to... well, probably mostly her (haha) I shall get on with my actual intended subject matter.  Literature!

Infinite Days: Rebecca Maizel

Okay, here's the scoop: It's about a girl who was a vampire but now isn't becaauuuse of this big epic process thingy that killed him and saved her... and then her ex-coven is going to come searching for her and blah blah blah...  And then... I'm not going to tell you the ending because it would really ruin it.

It's a really really weird book but totally worth your time.  I absolutely loved it and am waiting for the follow-up that should be published really soonish.  I hope.

And the cover is freakin' epic.  When I was reading it, I actually would just sit and stare at the cover for unknown periods of time.  I'm not quite certain what it was I found so compelling--still find--but it's just... interesting to look at.  So I looked. (A lot.)  Not creepy/weird at all...

The prose is great.  The filler is, too.  There's not really anything in it that just makes you roll your eyes and think "well that was a stretch."  The love triangle is pretty cliche, but she does it in a manner that's rather acceptable, I thought.  All-in-all I liked it.

The Secret Society of the Pink Crystal Ball: Risa Green

She has an interesting first name. I've never met a Risa.

So this book is about a bunch of sophomores.  One of them has a crazy aunt who left her the noted pink crystal ball.  It's like, a pink magic 8 ball. hahaha.  But the answers are kinda strange.  And every time this girl asks for something, whatever she asks comes true.  When she asks it for stuff for other people, mass mayhem ensues.  Which, of course, they don't figure out until the end of the book.  (Even though I figured it out the first time.)
Anyway, there's of course romance involved.  How would it be legitimate teen fiction without any?  The relationship is kind of cute, though, so I'm not complaining.

As a whole, the story was a tiny bit frustrating to read, but mostly just because they're so young and naive and...well, oblivious.  Kinda stupid.  Have a knack for overreacting.  (Sounds a lot like 10th grade.)  I just have this thing where I don't like to read books focused on kids younger than me.  Kinda dumb, probably, considering I'm not really a kid, anymore, but still.  I can't help it.

It was good, though.  I really did like it.  It was fun to read and worth the time. (=

 Shiver: Maggie Stiefvater

It's the first book in a series about werewolves, but the specifics of the creature are a lot different.  It's actually really interesting, and I was impressed by the creativity and the... (shit I just lost my word...) innovation in recreating the werewolf.

Basically, they aren't subject to the full moon, they're subject to the weather patterns.  When it's cold, they're wolves; when it warms up, they're human.  It's personal when a body makes the change, but each body only has so long--also personal--before they just stop changing and remain a wolf until they die.

It's a really sweet love story, though.  He's a wolf; she isn't.  She rescues him.  They actually have a chance to fall in love (and do, of course.)

There's so much involved that I really don't want to give it all away because it would really kinda ruin it.  It's an excellent novel and it was something I totally couldn't put down.  I just devoured it mercilessly.  The prose is elegant and beautiful.  The characters are deep, with genuine personalities--they're people that I feel like I could meet on the street and recognize and be able to have a conversation with.  The plot is well-thought-out and incredibly interesting.  I give it at least 4.5 stars.  I really did love it.

Linger: Maggie Stiefvater

This is the sequel to Shiver, and it's just as good as the first but a bajillion times more frustrating.  Grace's parents have become complete assholes and pissed me off at every single possible turn.  A couple other characters are a bit annoying.  Sam and Grace are having some issues.  Grace keeps getting sicker and sicker until you learn something really strange that I'm not going to tell you because--hello!!--spoiler alert.

Once again, the prose is beautiful.  The conflicts are real, and I definitely reacted on an emotional level.  The characters are well developed and easy to identify with--some of them, anyway.

They're just good books.  That's really all there is to it.  I'm waiting not very patiently for the last one to come out July 12, Forever.  UGH! THE SUSPENSE IS AGONIZING!

I'm serious.  They're really that good that I'm that antsy about it.  I highly recommend them.

I would probably talk about music and stuff too, since I didn't have time to post yesterday, but it's 10 to midnight, and I have play practice in the morning at 7. (For a play that isn't going to work, and if they keep trying to make it happen it's going to be a big ol' epic fail.  I don't want to be associated with or involved in it but I can't seem to walk away.  Unfortunately, I think we're all going to have to.  It sucks. It really does.)

So anyway, that's all I've got!  No playlist tonight but the sound of my own tapping keys.  Sorry for that.

With love,
Emily <3

Happy Easter

It was technically Easter when I posted last night--or rather, earlier this morning--but considering I was still up from Saturday, it didn't really count.  Cause I said so.

Anyway, before I get on with my actual conversations today, I really just want to touch on this new phenomenon of "Zombie Jesus Day" in replacement of "Easter."  Quite frankly, I know you guys think you're funny, but you're really just kind of offensive to those of us who actually do believe in the gospel provided in the Bible.  I've never considered myself overly religious--or even very religious at all--but still, there's a line that I don't want crossed.  Zombie Jesus doesn't toe the line; it stomps all over it.  It's so immensely disrespectful and it pisses me off.  I don't agree with a lot of things in religion, Christianity or otherwise, but I don't mock other people's religious holidays simply because I found a way to do so.



Well, moving on.

I've been reading a fair amount lately.  I finished Divine Misdemeanors by Laurell K Hamilton and it's rather clear that there shall be more books coming.  There's just no way she can stop there.  No way.  So we're excited. (=

Along for the Ride: Sarah Dessen

Not sure why I always write the title next to the cover that clearly states it, but oh well. Whatever.  Name of the game, I guess.

I just bought, read, and finished this book last week.
It's about a girl whose parents got divorced when she was in her early teens.  Her mom is an ice queen and her dad is a drama queen, so you can understand that it wasn't really a smooth ride.  So she graduated from high school and she's like, this perfect student but a social failure, and she goes to live with her dad and his new wife, who just had a baby.  Whom he named Thisbe.  Really?  Who the hell names their adorable little baby Thisbe?  Granted, her name was Auden, but still.  Whatever.
Anyway, so there's this slew of family issues.  And then she ends up learning how to have a social life because the circumstances force her to, and, hey, she decides it might be a good idea.
It just never ceases to amaze me the way that Dessen can manage to write relevant teen fiction that isn't cliche and obnoxious and still manage to make her characters grow and learn something important.  Sure, it's a little cliche here and there; what teen fiction would be complete without it?  But it's not the kind of cliche that has you gagging silently, you know?  The morals/lessons are legitimate ones, too.  And they aren't pushed or forced or spelled out for you.  They get a little spelled out sometimes, yeah, but I don't know.  I guess that Dessen is just capable of making me like it anyway. hahaha.  It's definitely worth the read.  I promise.

Forget You: Jennifer Echols

I blogged about her first book "Going Too Far" last year because I completely fell head-over-heels in love with it.  Honestly, I still am h.o.h. with it.  No lie.
This is her second novel.  I'm not done with it yet--I actually just started it last night, but I'm in chapter... *checking* 5, and it's not a huge book.  So I'm on my way.

Anyway, this chick's dad knocked up the human resources manager at his business--which is disgusting because he's twice as old as her--so her parents got divorced.  Her mom attempted suicide, which means that now she has to go back to live with her dad, which I can guarantee you is an unholy disaster.
And of course there are relationship issues.  I'm not going to get into it because it's... well... dumb.  But you know how it is.  Anyway, she gets into this car accident and totally doesn't remember any of the night.  So she has no idea what really happened so she kinda starts trying to make stuff up.  Only it's not going so well.  So I'm just waiting to see how that all turns out.  I probably won't let you know.  Go read it yourself.

Glass Houses: Rachel Caine

It's the first book in the Morganville Vampires series.  It's kinda weird.  The premise is that vampires run this dumb little town in Texas with a crappy-ass university, and this 16 (almost 17) year old girl moves there for college because she's a super genius but her parents are ridiculous.  And she gets on the bad side of some chick with influence--because she's a complete moron; I'd have done it, too.  I'm just better at taking care of myself than Claire is--so then shit hits the fan.
There's of course some romance involved.  And a couple of interesting twists.  It's good, overall.  A fast read.  Light reading.  I enjoyed it. (=
It's worth the few days it would take to read it.  I bought books 2 and 3 as well, but I haven't managed to start them yet.


I'm not any farther in Blue Moon by Laurell K Hamilton.  I just haven't bothered to get around to reading it.  Oops.

The Chocolate War: Robert Cormier

I'm reading this for English right now.  It's a kind of book club unit.  It's... egh.  The book club, I mean; not the book.

The book is... weird.  It's about this private Catholic school in I-don't-even-know-where-yet with some "secret society" (which the teachers and administration are fully aware of yet choose to ignore just to maintain balance) of student-enforcers called The Vigil.  It supposedly even made a banned book list.
The book starts violently, with the opening sentence reading "They murdered him."  Now, I don't know about you, but when I read a book that starts violently, I expect the rest of the novel to carry a certain level of violence to match.  That's kind of a bit of a red flag.
The main character, Jerry, is about to upset the status quo of the school by refusing to sell the chocolates that keep the school afloat.  It's some huge fundraiser that they're supposed to do every year to bring in enough money to keep the school running, but something causes Jerry to say no.  I'm not that far into it yet.  I probably will be by Wednesday, but I'll keep you updated.

We're also supposed to do these really dumb punctuation prompt things, where we highlight (not literally) sections that catch our attention.  Stuff that makes us pause, wonder, or react "strongly."  Don't get me wrong, I get into my reading material (most of the time); but I've read enough material that I rarely react that strongly to stuff.  Whatever.  So I fudge a few.  So it goes.

Anyway.  I think that's all I've got for reading material to cover today... Yeah, probably.

What else am I supposed to talk about...?  I had most of a mango, half a plum, and a hard-boiled egg for breakfast.  You should care because it's Easter and I ate a shit-ton of fruit this morning.  And I still wanted more. hahahaha.  I <3 fruit.

I don't really feel like looking for odd news right now, so you're out there.
But I had something else I talked about.  I know it...................................

Well, got nothin.  so there ya go.  All done.




Post Playlist (YouTube and Pandora):
World Behind My Wall--Tokio Hotel     After watching this video, it has occurred to me that I'm just not that into the Bill Kaulitz effect.  Nope.  I'm good now, thanks.  I know why I was attracted at a younger age, but no more, thanks.  Tom maybe.  They do have beautiful facial structure, of course. But Bill... oh Bill...
Our Worlds Collide--BarlowGirl
Bodies--Drowning Pool
Oceans From the Rain--Seventh Day Slumber
I'm Made of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?--A Day to Remember    That is a ridiculously long song title.  It's the song that introduced me to ADTR, though, and it is a good one.  So it's worth it.
I Caught Fire--The Used
Bloody Romance--Senses Fail
Monument--A Day to Remember
Cute Without the 'e' (Cut From the Team)--Taking Back Sunday
Follow and Feel--Saosin

It's Easter

Which therefore makes it a weekend, and totally out of my regular posting activity, but considering I haven't posted anything in bloody ages, I figured it was high time.

So in regard to music, I've got an artist I care to discuss.  I'm positive I've listened to her before because I know she sounds extraordinarily familiar, but I've just recently gotten really into her music.  "Just recently" as in this afternoon. hahaha.  Her name is Kerli.

 She really is quite beautiful, actually.  I'm thoroughly impressed with her.

Also, she's the only chick I've ever seen that can make me appreciate a librae piercing.  (Let me exchange 'chick' for 'individual' because I rarely like them on anyone.)  But on her it looks good.

 This is a screen shot from her "Walking on Air" video.  It's a really, really strange song and an even stranger video, but somehow it totally just fits her.  It's worth a listen.  If you're into eclectic stuff, anyway.  Keep an open mind.

This another screenshot, but from "Army of Love".  she's done up kinda like an elf.  It looks good on her, actually.

Quite frankly, she's one of those girls that can pretty much get away with whatever the hell she wants to simply because she's gorgeous already.

Apparently people have been comparing her to Lady Gaga, which is kinda dumb, because A) Kerli's been out years longer than Gaga has, B) their music is galaxies different (worlds jsut didn't cover it), and C) they look nothing alike.  Lady Gaga shows up in....wombs... Kerli shows up in these really adorable, eclectic tutu dresses. hehe. Not always.  But either way, I think she's much cuter than Gaga.  Hard to say.  They have absolutely nothing to do with each other, though.  That's a definite fact.
 I'm posting "Army of Love" for you to listen to.  In case you're curious.  Because I love it.  So give her a try.  What are you out if you don't like it?

So there's this band that I saw in Minot a couple of years ago at a free benefit concert called Rock the Leaves--I don't know if I've ever discussed this before--and they're a Christian rock outfit from Minneapolis, MN called Hyland.  And I kinda fell in love with them back then.  I just did some catching up via Myspace today, and found out that they're signed to Tooth & Nail and have an album coming out this spring.  This is exciting!!  Even though I totally haven't talked to them in absolutely ages.  Ah well.  The side-effects of stardom, eh?  No big.
I'll post a Hyland video too.  This band is far, far less eclectic than Kerli.  They're on--again--completely different galaxies.  This is "This Love is Free"

By the way, I really love these guys.  They made such an impact on my life back then.  I can't even explain to you what they really meant to me.



Hmmmmmmm..... what else have I got.... Oh. Just a whole slew of books to talk about.  But we'll wait until after I've slept to get into all that.
Also, I feel as though I must discuss a Facebook photo challenge I've just taken on.  Don't let me forget.
Kay thanks. (=

Love always,
<3 Emily