Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Pick-Up Lines

I just spent--literally--two minutes trying to come up with a cute/amusing title for today's post, but pretty much failed. Sorry.  I tried. I did.  You've gotta believe me.
Actually... no you don't. But I would rather you did.

Anyway.  Now that I'm done babbling (Hah! As if), let's get on with life.

Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.

I'm sincerely praying that this is strictly a joke and that no poor soul has ever tried to honestly use this as a legit line.  Beause it's probably the worst pick-up line I've heard in my life.  Well... maybe not the worst, but top 10.  For sure.
I'm not really sure what I would actually do if some idiot tried to use this on me.  I think I would probably stare in disbelief and then die laughing.  It might depend on how drunk I was, of course, but even completely smashed this wouldn't work.  I've obviously never tried it, but I just know myself that well.  Alcohol doesn't change a person that much.  For real.  Then again, I've never been blacking-out drunk or whatever, so I could be wrong.  I just like to think that I retain enough of my intelligence to manage evading shitty pick-up lines.
God. Did you fart.  Who the hell would have the balls to ask that?  For real?  And what would you do if she actually said yes? O_o  Ew?  I don't know.  I hope I never have to find out.

Muggle?  I don't know. You seem pretty magical to me.

Okay, coming clean, I totally came up with this one on my own.  This is my very own, hand-crafted pick-up line that... unless both parties are serious nerds, would never possibly work.  Also, it requires that the girl be wearing a Muggle shirt--as in a shirt that says "Muggle"--so it's kind of... well, the opposite of versatile. Restricted?  Whatever.  I seem to be having trouble with my vocabulary these days.  I don't really get it.  I still understand them all it's just that the words aren't quite coming to me like they should be.
I know it's corny and dumb, but I still kind of like it.  I think it's fun. haha.  Still, if someone ever tried to use this on me, I would laugh in their face and walk away.  It's not that cute/fun.

I'm not going to bother with discussing another.  Just because I'm in math class and don't really care.  Plus I'm tired and just slightly cranky so I don't wanna. haha.  I don't want to be in school today; I...don't even really want to be awake right now.  I have so much to do.

Okay, I suppose I could catch you up with my life a little bit. How about a nice bullet point list:
  • This is my last day of school for an entire week.
  • Tomorrow, I'm going to the state capital with the entire junior and senior classes (almost, anyway) to view the governmental action or some such a matter.  I don't particularly wish to go, but oh well.
  • I don't have school on Friday, and I have a speech meet in Glenburn that afternoon... From which I won't be home from until late.  Like, between 11 and 12 I'm sure.  I'm not really enthused.
  • Saturday morning, I fly out of Minot to Orlando, Florida with an hour layover in Denver.
  • Next Tuesday, I will leave the airport in Orlando at 10:30 (or so) in the morning with another layover in Denver eventually to finally (hopefully) return home at 10:10 p.m.  Which means that, again, I will be flying all damn day.  Ugh.  Oh well; it's worth it.
  • I have 57 days of school left, not counting what's left of today.  Quick math, that equals just over 11 weeks and just under 3 months.  Praise Jesus.  I'm so ready to be done.
  • I took 8th and 4th place in inform this weekend at the Shiloh Christian and St. Mary's Christian HS speech meets.  I also did really well in poetry, which is kind of funny because I'd looked at my piece a grand total of like, twice. haha. In the car. On the way there.  I guess I'd read through it enough to write an intro the night before when I had to type it up, but still.  So I'm hoping it goes well.
So that's my life in a nutshell.  My love life is prett much nonexistent, so that's why there's no mention of it. So there you have it. I'm moderately boringish.

Ta ta!
--Emily Renae <3

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