Wah-Wah-Wednesday!

Okay, that was quite likely the single dumbest thing I've ever titled anything.

Anyway.  So what's Wednesday supposed to be anyway?  I totally cannot remember.  I'm hyper right now, by the way.  I don't know why; I'm tired as hell.  But somehow here I sit, hyper and annoying.  HAH! As if I'm ever anything but annoying.
No, I'm kidding.  That in itself is annoying, and I didn't really mean it.  Well, I might have sorta meant it, but never mind.  I don't hate myself that much.

OH! BOOKS!  Duh.  I knew that.

So this is a book I just got done reading--All Q, No A: More Tales of a 10th-Grade Social Climber by Lauren Mechling and Laura Moser.

Funny... I never realized it was cowritten...

Anyway.  Yeah.  It's the sequel to "Rise and Fall of a 10th-Grade Social Climber" which I read... as a sophomore, actually, hahaha.  Maybe a freshman?  It seems like it was a really long time ago.  But I'm pretty sure it was last year.

It wraps up a lot of loose ends from the first book, which is good, because I remember longing desperately for more at the time, haha.  But it's got its own little plot, and it must've been what I was looking for at the time when I picked it up at the library, because I read it in 2.5 days.  Haha.  I used to do that a lot.  Now it takes me awhile longer to read things because I get so side tracked.  But it's a good read, definitely.  If you've read the first one, you'll want to pick up the 2nd.

It's a painfully bright book in reality, if you can't tell from the picture.  It's several decibels brighter, actually.  HOT PINK AND LIME GREEN.  It's a little hard on the eyes.

Anyway.  It's called Feeling Sorry for Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty, and it's actually an Australian book!  Takes place in Australia and everything.  I think it's really cool.

But it's written entirely in letter/note format.  It's great.  She gets notes and letters from all of these funny little societies (not really, it's basically just like, story information/filler and stuff. It's hard to explain) and then these strange, random notes from her mother.  And then her English teacher has decided that kids need to relearn the joy of the envelope, so he's making them write letters back and forth to kids in the school a few blocks away.  So pretty much, this complete stranger very soon knows more about her than anybody else and gets in on her struggles with her best friend, Celia, who... well... her family's one of those weird "free spirit" families that you see around?  Where the mom thinks that anything her baby does is absolutely joyous and she has every right to explore her own world of her own volition in her own way.  It kind of becomes a disaster.  Hence the title.  But I'm not quite finished with it, so I'm anxious to see how it ends

And to get it returned to the libary! It's due on the 19th, but I'm not going to be here! ACK!  I need to get it there somehow... oi.

And then I'm reading book 7 in my kinky Laurell K. Hamilton series.  It's really good.  Dramatic, obviously; is Hamilton anything but?  Regardless, I'm not reading it very actively right now because I've gotten into a light-reading phase.  It's hanging out in my purse, actually.  So it's not like I never read it, haha.  Just not as much lately.

AND I STILL HAVE TO READ DEATHWISH! GOD!  Erg.  I need to do that.  I promised Tara that I'd bring it with me when I went to see her, but I haven't finished it and that's just dumb.  =/  She'll want to discuss it and I won't be able to because I'm not DONE!  I need to read more.  =/

Anyway, that's about it for the time being.  I've only got so much material that I'm actually reading.  I've got a lot of material, but I'm only reading them a couple at a time.  It's vaguely ridiculous.  haha...

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

"Arise and be all that you dreamed, all that you dreamed."
--Arise: Flyleaf (Momento Mori)

Post playlist (http://www.pandora.com/):
Feel Good Drag--Anberlin: Never Take Friendship Personal
Bruised--Jack's Mannequin: Everything in Transit
Marching Bands of Manhattan--Death Cab for Cutie: Plans
You--Switchfoot: The Early Years 1997-2000
Bring Me to Life--Thousand Foot Krutch: Welcome to the Masquerade
Dying to Live--Jonah 33: The Heart of War
Ignition--TobyMac: Portable Sounds

So I can't really remember what Tuesday--oh yeah.  Celebrity day... oofta...  How about not?

New Tuesday topic!

I'm going to do random album art reviews.  Not the album, just the artwork.  Hahaha.  Well, more like just the cover.  For example:

I don't get it.  I mean, really.  Like, is that supposed to be attractive?  Check out those freakin lips!

I don't really know anything about her music at all.  I don't think I've ever really listened to her.  But she's a rapper, so I really don't care.  I'm not into that style...or that look.

Oh, PS--nice mole.  (Not that she can necessarily help it, but it kinda looks dumb to be SO exaggerated. Anyway.)

And as for Thriving Ivory's album, the artwork is the only reason I picked it up.  It looked really interesting, so I went with it.  Besides, it was only like, $10 at Target.  It was a band that initially I was like "are you kidding me?" but they grew on me really fast.  (=

Oh, and a couple of them are pretty cute.  They're pictured on the back of the disk.  That helped a little. haha

Jeffree Star, I love you, but for an album called Beauty Killer, you really could've done a lot more, you know what I'm saying?  Yeah.  Exactly.
I mean, don't get me wrong, Aubrey Hepburn peeking from behind a seriously-fake bloody hand is pretty hot, and your hair and makeup are flawless as always.
But I just feel like there was more you could have done.  Sorry.  I was vaguely disappointed.  I was actually hoping that the cover you used for your Prisoner single for this, but you didn't.  Ah well.  The album is amazing, just like you.  And the cover is pretty cool, not gonna lie.

Mika is so adorable, and his music is upbeat and super poppy and energetic and rockin... and his album art just screams that to the world, doesn't it?  I get a super-happy vibe from this album art.  And I rather adore him.  So there we are!

I am running out of time in my English class, but I'll do one more.

Sooooo... I don't know.  Maybe it's just me, but my favorite German boy band isn't anywhere near as boy-bandy as they used to be, and I'm very good with that. In fact, I prefer it.  I was personally beginning to get really sick of Scream, just saying.  And the cover of this thing is just... bizarro.  Doesn't say boy band at all does it?  Haha, I knew instantly upon looking at it that it was Bill, though.  =P  Hottie...  Even though he is semi-androgynous, I still think he's really hawt.  Don't ask me why, because I couldn't say.

But the album art is interesting. Definitely.  Good job, guys.

Post Playlist (http://www.pandora.com/):

Ever Dream--Nightwish: Century Child
Senses Capture--Leaves' Eyes: Elegy EP
The Fortunate--Cartel: Cartel
Find a New Way--Young Love: Too Young to Fight It
Guilty Pleasure--Cobra Starship: ¡Viva La Cobra!
Hey Brittany--Forever the Sickest Kids: Underdog Alma Matter
Umbrella--All Time Low: Punk Goes Crunk

BLAAAAHHHHHHH

So I'm a cheerleader.  Have I told y'all that?  Oh, and I also say "y'all".  (Have I told you that too?)  Well, I am, and I do.  So there.  And my first game is tonight.  Ugh.  I'm pretty sure I forgot something, but I don't know what.  I can't come up with anything.  Uniform, dickie, spankies, socks, shoes, makeup, elastics, perfume... I don't think I need anything else, do I?  And I left the lotion I've been using recently because it's a tanning stuff--that isn't really doing anything, by the way; thought I'd mention--so I didn't bring that.  It's really the only thing I'd need.

I lost my Zune.  It's in my room somewhere, I'm sure, I just don't know where I left it!  UGH!  And I found it a month ago and then lost it within the same fucking weekend.  I'm pissed.  Especially because since the last time I put music on it, I've bought, like, 10 CDs!  I've got 173 CDs now.  Hah.  And I'm not done either.  And my boyfriend is sending me an 80s CD! Hahaha.  I love it... But it's okay, because it's got our song on it.  ^.^  I can't believe I have a song...  Oh well.

I'm done talking now.

Until next time, With love,
--Emily
~xoxo~




Post playlist (pandora):
Listen to Your Friends--New Found Glory: Not Without a Fight
Far Away--Nickelback: All The Right Reasons
Never Even Told Me Her Name--Air Traffic: Fractured Life
One More Time--Danger Radio: Used and Abused
Staplegunned--The Spill Canvas: Denial Feels So Good

Writing, Ever Writing

So I started writing this story about a girl who got into a car accident "last month" and has amnesia.  The only shit she remembers is academic.  I have yet to decide if she knows anything about herself, but she doesn't know any of her family members or friends or anybody.  Everything social has been swept away.  I have also yet to decide if during the course of the story--because she moves, of course--there are triggers that cause her memories to start coming back, or if she just completely starts over.  That'd be hard, though--the latter option--because making friends gets hard... but yeah...  Who knows?  I don't even know what the real point of the story is yet.  It's kinda pathetic.

I don't know that I should really necessarily admit this, but I'm kind of writing a "slash" story.  In other words, about a couple of gay boys.  I don't know why, or what really possessed me.  But I'm doing it.  It's okay... I mean, the writing.  The story?  Couldn't say.  I've started it and now I only want to jump ahead to the idea that I've got... Basically where the narrator discovers the guy he's crushing on is also gay.  But I don't feel like taking the time to bother getting there right now and...

I don't know.  My brain is kind of scrambled right now.

One other thing, I started rewriting a vampire story that I started ages ago.  It's okay.  Could be better.  That's why I'm rewriting it; duh.  The basic plot is that these two kids, Morpheus and Trisha, move into town and Promise is elected to do the orientation.  Trisha's parents were human ambassadors in the last great Vampire-Lycanthrope war, so Promise is not a stranger to the truly fantastic.  Little does she realize, however, upon meeting these two, that they themselves would become a part of her twisted reality... and fate.  Soon Promise is leaving everything she knows behind for the sake of an old bargain she had nothing to do with.  Morpheus, Trisha, and Promise suddenly find themselves in a convoluted plot for takeover with Promise at the center of it.  Promise can either accept her new fate, or fight back.  Will Morpheus and Trisha take the side of what they've known for a century, or will they too step out into the unknown to fight for what they believe?

Is that like the back of a book cover or what?  Hah.  Triumph...or something like that.  I don't know.  Whatever...

Until next time, With love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

Thursday, and Boy Have I News for You!

I don't know why I bother with titles like that when no one reads this anyway.  Oh well.  If someone happens across this somehow, they're going to want things to be somewhat personal, right?  Or, well, maybe not.  I don't know.  Regardless, I talk to empty space, so... I'll address it to an imaginary audience anyway.  *le sigh*

ANYWAY.  I was slightly discouraged the other day when my "boyfriend" type guy-friend didn't give a rat's ass about my blog.  And I mean, that's fine and all, but... I just felt slightly dejected.  I pretended not to care anyway.  But that's really material for my blog, because as if any of you really want to hear this garbage.  I mean... I'm only a sixteen--17 in 21 days!--year old girl, you've gotta give me a break for having boy problems, you know.  *le sigh, AGAIN*  And you can be sure that there's more.  Trust me.  >/  I'm sick of boy drama. I tell ya.

ANYWAY!  Now I'm done talking about boys.  Because you don't care anyway.  As for my writing, you're going to get another sob story.  My school laptop, containing the majority of what I've been working on mostly lately, has gotten a terrible nasty virus that won't let me open anything, and my tech support thinks he's gonna have to reformat it.  Which will, of course, lose EVERYTHING I have there.  It's enough to make me want to cry, it really is.  *sniffle* No, not really sniffling, but it's sad all the same.  The worst part is that my chemistry teacher said HER tech support--because her home laptop got the SAME virus--that it's really easy to get rid of... so tomorrow they're going to try that and hopefully Mr. Fry won't have reformatted my stupid freakin' computer.  I hate technology just as much as boys sometimes.  Really.  But then, really, I love both loads the rest of the time, too, soooooo.... Ergh.  It's a love/hate relationship. It really is.  For them both, really. =/

So there you have it.  That's my writing knowledge for you this week.  And progress. I mean, I've written some, but it's just not.... eh.  I don't feel like mentioning my writing to empty space.  It's pointless.  IF you're reading this, I don't really think you're empty space, I promise; you're actually a quite good listener/reader if you've made it this far with me.  What a trooper.  You have my sincerest thanks.  (=

Until next time, With love,
--Emily
~xoxo~




Post Playlist (pandora):
I'm Like a Lawyer (Me and You)--Fall Out Boy (I'm Like a Lawyer (Me and You))
Catch Your Wave--The Click Five (Greetings from Imrie House)
Lessons in Breathing--The Method to My Medium (The Sincerities EP)
Bigger than Love--My Favorite Highway (How to Call a Bluff)

2 In a Day! Can You Believe It?

Yeah, so this is technically my free hour, only we don't have open campus so I'm stuck here.  It's okay, though.  I need the time to practice my flute solo for my all-state band audition--speaking of which, I need to find a vocal solo as well.  But I'm more concerned with my flute, because I already know for a fact that I won't be able to get into the choir.  There's not even a possibility for me.  I'd have to sing like Anika Leith, and that's just not possible.  Oh well.  C'est la vi.  (Such is life, for those of you who don't speak French.)

So my solo is in D Major, which, for a C instrument--like my flute and the tuba, I believe--has 2 sharps: F# and C#.  I don't like sharps.  I don't like them at all.  But I like the sound of the song... and I know I can play it if I practice enough.  I've already got the majority of it.  Well, the first half of it.  I can't play it too fast or anything, and I definitely still have flubs, but I'm still working on it.  I'm doing quite well for the amount that I've worked on it.  I'm not as good of a flute player as everyone makes me out to be, but I am pretty good.  I won't lie or be too modest here.  I play fairly well.  Anyway, the song is Polonaise and Badinerie by Bach.  I quite like it, actually.  I'm only playing Polonaise for my audition.  There's no way in hell I could play both for my audition.  It's too long anyway.  I'm going to try to for regional band in March (?) though.  I'll do my best... I may have to just play Polonaise though... I wonder if I can do that...?  I'll have to ask my instructor.  I'm pretty excited that I've got it going, though.  This is the song for anyone curious:
Polonaise and Badinerie--Bach
Wish me luck!

Until next time, With love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

"Save your heart for someone that's worth dying for--don't give it away."
--Save Your Heart: Mayday Parade

Post Playlist (still my music):
Lips Like Morphine--Kill Hannah (Until There's Nothing Left of Us)
Save Your Heart--Mayday Parade (Anywhere But Here)
Doctor--Cute is What We Aim For (Take Action! Vol. VIII)

It's Tuesday, But I'm Having Music Monday Anyway. So there.

Yeah, I know I missed Monday, but I just really don't care.  I'm going to have my spiel about a band today regardless.  I just fell in love with them and so I feel like talking about them.  So there.  See what insolence gets ya?  Yeah, exactly.

Black Veil Brides is a five-member "metal core" band from L.A. (CA, obviously) made up of Andy Sixx, Chris Hollywood, Sandra A, Pan and Ashley Purdy.  Although I just read that apparently C. Hollywood left for personal reasons.  I didn't bother to see what they were; the site's probably blocked regardless. =/  Well, that's depressing... oh well.  Anyway, they haven't really been playing all that long from what I can tell, but maybe I'm wrong.  There isn't a whole lot of information on them.  However, I really like their sound, and I'm frickin stuck on it.
Black Veil Brides--Knives and Pens
That's the song that got me interested.  I got it off of some random myspace friend's page in his music thing.  Fell in love, no joke.  It's slightly ridiculous.  I watch it multiple times a day.  I want to go watch it again... C=  hahaha.
And Andy Sixx is fucking sexy.  God, that man... I don't know what it is about the emo/scene/goth look that gets me, but it does it regularly.  Although it depends on the person wearing it, usually; there's just something you have to have in your aura to make it work, and some people don't have it.  Andy does.  Ohhhh, woooww Andy does.  Haahhhh... [swoon]  Haha.  But in all reality, he is really hot.  He has a super gorgeous smile.

And I rather enjoy the way he does his makeup.  Hehe.  He's the one in the middle, if you can't quite tell... The guy on his right kinda looks like a girl, but his jaw, chin, and hand--and perhsaps his lack of boobs--prove otherwise.  I mean, I know it's a guy and all, but... it's a little hard to tell... haha.  And the guy on the far right is wearing two belts... okaaay...

Anyway... Yeah, so that's my band for the week.  Watch the link. Because I said so.  And that's what matters after all, haha.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

"She screams for more...More than just some blue-eyed metaphor..."
--Hey Lady: Thriving Ivory

Post playlist (My music today):
Punk Bitch--3Oh!3 (Want)
Come One, Come All--All Time Low (So Wrong, It's Right)
Candles--Hey Monday (Hold on Tight)
Disaster--Hawethorne Heights (Fragile Future)
Sleeping at the Movies--Watchout! There's Ghosts (Ghost Town)

Oops... [scratches back of neck awkwardly]

It's kinda been awhile, hasn't it?  Oops.  I've been busy though.  So instead of just picking today's topic--which is what? writing? I think so--I'm just gonna cover all the bases.

I've had Flavor of the Weak by American Hi-Fi stuck in my head for days because it played on my pandora station.  Think of You Later (Empty Room) by Every Avenue is one I've loved for months since I bought my Take Action 2009 CD...  Hey Lady by Thriving Ivory just got really stuck in my head at work yesterday and I've been singing it since.  Bitch, Please by Jeffree Star gets stuck in my head periodically... actually, fairly regularly, not gonna lie, haha.  Aaaaand...Mayday Parade's "Anywhere but Here" album is 100% amazing.  I love every second of it.  I'm itching to get my hands on Every Avenue's new CD, "Picture Perfect" and Flyleaf's "Memento Mori," but I haven't been to Minot yet to get them.  And I probably won't be able to get EA's, but... I still want it.  Oh, and thanks to a friend on Myspace, I'm now really into a punk/screamo band called Black Veil Brides.  They're really good, if you're into that kind of music, which I definitely am.  They don't scream all the time, and Andy Sixx has a really nice voice.  And he's pretty cute, won't deny.  =]  hahaha.  No, but the song "Knives and Pens" is really addicting... I think I'm going to go listen to it again... Just not immediately.  Well...in a minute.  Oh, and there are a few pop songs on the radio that I've actually been pretty into lately.  I'm not certain what's up precisely, but oh well.  It's music, and if it's good, it's good; that's all there is to it, I guess.

Celebrity figures who've caught my eye recently... mmm... Andy Sixx, but mostly just because of the BVB video last night and he's cute and has a nice voice.  I really don't know much of anything about him.  [shrug] Perhaps a research project for a later date.  Anyone else?  Mmmm... Nah, not really.

Books.  I've restarted Laurell K. Hamilton's first Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel: Guilty Pleasures.  I didn't really like it when I very first started it, but I'm pretty into it now.  It's L.K. Hamilton; how couldn't I like it?  I mean, really.  She's brilliantly descriptive, fresh, fascinating and fun!  Haha.  Seriously, though, if you're into sex and gore very clearly spelled out in your books--sometimes somewhat vaguely simultaneously--then Laurell is an author you need to pick up.  She's brilliant.  I love it.  =)

Writing.  I'm still working on In the Midst of Musicians and...the other one about the chick touring with her brother's band.  It doesn't really have a title yet... I'll find one. Eventually...  But other than that?  Mostly I've been writing letters! Haha.  A couple of weeks, I sent off 9 letters all at once.  I think 5 of them went to Canada.  It was a lot of postage, to say the least.  $5.51 in postage I sent out that day.  Mhm.  It was worth it though.  What's funny is that 2 of the Canadians just got their letters yesterday.  It took almost an entire week extra.  It usually only takes 7 days to get from here to there.  And they both got them the same day because they live in the same place!  Haha...  I don't actually know the one person; he's a friend of a friend, but now I talk to him more than I talk to her--or most any of my other friends, I think--and definitely more than she does.  They just go to school together, mostly.  He's a real sweetheart.  Maybe I should shut up since I'm giving him the address to this blog and he has the tendency to follow links I give him.  Haha.  Oh well.  It's not like I've said much of anything very telling.  (=  At least I don't think so.

As far as anything else goes, well, I'm a cheerleader.  I'm not 100% certain what possessed me to try out, but I did... and so now I am.  I've only had one practice in which we ran and did leg/core/arm workouts, and only one muscle in my lower stomach is sore, and only when I'm lying in bed and then try to sit up or stretch or whatever.  It's great.  I'm not as much of a fat blob as I thought I was!  Haha.  Okay, so not a fat blob, but I'm still a blob.  I don't ever really do much of anything... but sit at the computer...and Mom pretty much hates it.  Oh well.

In other news, one of my friends dropped out of high school a month or two ago.  His mother signed for him.  What a fucking idiot.  In reference to both of them, actually, not gonna lie.  That family's been having issues lately...for about a year or a bit more... maybe more, because I think Brittany was still here when they really started... God, has it really been so long?  Not that that'll mean anything to you, but it does to me...  Jeez... that's like, 2+ years... And they just keep getting worse...
They're coming up for Thanksgiving now next week... I'm sorely tempted to slap him across the face when I see him, but I know I won't.  I don't have it in me for one, and Mom would be pissed.  Oh, goodness, I don't even want to think about what Mom would do to me.  Plus, I don't really want to piss him off within seconds of seeing him for the first time in about 3 years... God... I can't believe it's been 3 years... Ugh. [whine whimper whine]

Lemme see...what else can I tell you... Oh.  I woke up one morning with an insane urge to color... so I've been coloring steadily for about 3 weeks or so.  I'm hardly writing during school at all, unless it's a letter.  It's kinda ridiculous, actually.  Weird...  OH!  And I preordered Laurell K. Hamilton's next book in her Meredith Gentry series; it comes out on the 24th.  I didn't really need to preorder it, but I did anyway.  Haha.  Just because I really wanted to.  I WANT IT!  And I've got a few other people hooked on these books, too.  It's kind of funny, haha.  One of them is on the same book as me, the other has to finish the 3rd one yet, and then my best friend has yet to start the 3rd book because she moved... So...yeah...  I don't know...  I might bring it to Minnesota with me when I go in December so she can bring it back to me after Christmas.

Oh, yeah, by the way, my mom and I are taking the train out to Minneapolis the night of the 18th of December so that I can go see my best friend.  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.  =D  So yes...  Haha.

But that's it!

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~

"She screams for more, More than just a blue-eyed metaphor."
--Hey Lady: Thriving Ivory





Post Playlist (windows media player)
I Can't Stay Away--The Veronicas (Hook Me Up)
Home--Kill Hannah (Hope For the Hopeless)
Queen of the Club Scene--Jeffree Star (Beauty Killer)
Break Your Little Heart--All Time Low (Nothing Personal)
One Day Too Late--Skillet (Awake)
In Pursuing Design--VersaEmerge (Take Action! Vol. VIII)
Sore Winner--There For Tomorrow (A Little Faster)
Awake and Alive--Skillet (Awake)
You're Not In on the Joke--Cobra Starship (Hot Mess)
Therapy--All Time Low (Nothing Personal)

Kay. Wednesday!

Wednesday is books, right?  Yeah, I think so.  It's not like it really matters.  But I'll try to stick with a routine here...  Anyway

I just read this book called "Going Too Far" by Jennifer Echols.

It's about this girl who ends up having to spend her spring break riding around in a cop car overnight and then work the following morning at her parents' diner.  The entire book takes place over a week and maybe a couple of days--just before spring break when she and her friends are arrested for underage drinking (and in her and her boyfriend's cases, being high as well) in a restricted area.  It's an emotional rollercoaster of a book, but it's truly amazing, and it's inspiring.  There are a couple of turns in it that I seriously did not expect, but that made it better.  I almost cried once, so... It's a really good book.  And seriously, look at that cover.  Is that not fucking sexy?  Gah! It is, for your information, if you hadn't figured that out yet.  That chin belongs to the really sexy cop, by the way, just in case you were wondering.  The other face is hers.  =]  It's a really really really good book.  I intend to go buy it now, just to have it.  Because I want to reread it now.  Hahaha.


Aside from that, I'm reading the second book in the "Confessions of Georgia Nicolson" series, "On The Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God"
Boy is that a mouthful.

It's just continuation of her journals and the story of her life.  Keep in mind that she's only 14, so "sex god" only means he's really hot. haha.  Just looking at that back, I don't know that I can really agree with her.  I mean, yeah, he's got nice shoulders, but... Maybe he has a really nice chest or something.  Haha.  ANYWAY, she has to go to New Zealand for a week over the summer, and she's all depressed because, well, look at the title, will you?  I don't know a whole lot about the book because I'm not very far into it yet.  Supposedly though, I think according to the back of the book but don't quote me on this, he breaks up with her because she's too young, though...sooooo.....yeah.  Depressing day, man.  But the next few books apparently make up for it.  She's a little bit of a vixen in the future from what I've gathered.  Hahaha.  But who knows?  I'll keep you updated as I get to it.

Other than that, I'm not reading much... Actually, I'm really not reading much of anything at all.
However, in my English class, we're doing a "short" poetry unit and we just read one by E. E. Cummings, and I decided that I really like him.  I'm going to post one here.  It's not the one we read, but that hardly matters.  =]

since feeling is first
E. E. Cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers.  Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And i think death is no parenthesis


He seriously didn't capitalize "I" or anything.  I wrote it as he did.  I just really love it.  It says something interesting, and it's probably different for each person, so I'm just going to let you think your thoughts on it and keep mine to myself for now.  =)

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

Post Playlist (yay http://www.pandora.com/):
West Coast Friendship--Owl City (Maybe I'm Dreaming)
Did You Get My Message?--Jason Mraz (Mr. A-Z)
Stay Young--We The Kings (We The Kings)
I Hate to Say "I Told You So"--The Prize Fight (The Process EP)
Someday You Will be Loved--Death Cab for Cutie (Plans)
The Fortunate--Cartel (Cartel)

Once Again...

It's been awhile.  My apologies.  Life is so randomly hectic anymore it's ridiculous.  A slight bit obscene.  I don't think I'm terribly impressed.


AP announced that AFI is on the cover of December's issue...but I'm thinking they maybe mean November, because it's...kind of still October... But what do I know?  Maybe they DO mean December.  Regardless, I'll be getting my hands on it, thank you.  Any way to get more of Davey's and Jade's faces in my life is a good one.  Speaking of their faces, I need to get my poster back up on my wall.  =/  Oops.

I've come to the realization that... maybe I'm not as unattractive as I think I am.  This isn't...necessarily a bad realization, just...kind of an odd one.  I don't know how to take it, exactly...  [shrugs]  I don't know.  It's hard to explain...

I got a letter from my best friend yesterday.  (She moved to Bloomington in August.)  She didn't have much of anything terribly positive to remark about, either.  We're just...ugh; we share such positive letters.  I try.  I really do.  I dislike to send such negative things, but... =/  When that's what you've got to say... what can you do?

Just listening to Your Guardian Angel, I totally had an emotional flashback to when I got that album... Man...  What a feeling...

And that ends the playlist, because now my dad is watching Transformers 2...Blue-ray...heh...  maybe I'll join him... It was a really good show!  Sooo...yeah, that ends this!

Until next time, With love.
--Emily
~~xoxo~~




Playlist!!  (http://www.pandora.com/ and then own library):
Hand Grenade--Hadley (Never Too Late)
My Mind's Eye--Sirenia (Nine Destinies and a Downfall)
I Know Where You Sleep--Emilie Autumn (Opheliac)
Pompeii--E. R. Posthumus (Unearthed)
See Through--Megan McCauley (Better than Blood)
Your Guardian Angel--The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Don't You Fake It)
6 Months--Hey Monday (Hold On Tight)
Plainsong--The Cure (Disintegraton)

Free Period

So I'm bored.  And I feel like blogging.  So here I am!  Yay.  Right.

Anyway, I meant to post yesterday, but I never got it finished and then my computer was being a complete flipping tard.  It was really, really annoying.  I was terribly unimpressed.  But oh well.
So yesterday I woke up with the strangest urge to color.  So I spent the entire day coloring.  Haha. I know, it's like, you're HOW old?  But it was fun.  ^^  I'm allowed to regress back to 4th grade once in awhile aren't I?  I think so.

The only problem with deciding to blog is that I don't really know what to talk about.  I'm thinking that I should be posting in my other blog...because yeah...but oh well.  Maybe I'll just post a playlist for the class period, as long as I'm in school.  I'll listen to music, list each song I listen to, blah blah blah.  Maybe put up some album artwork... nah.  Because I'm writing and all, so...you know.


Post Playlist, courtesy of pandora.com:
Swimming in Miami--Owl City (Of June)
You Are The One--Shiny Toy Guns (We Are Pilots)
Hey Driver--Lucky Boys Confusion (Commitment [Explicit])
Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous--Good Charlotte (The Young and Hopeless)
Prayer of the Refugee--Rise Against (The Sufferer and The Witness)


Well, this could've been a lot onger, but I got distracted by youtube videos...and Charlie the unicorn.  Oh. My.God.  SO RETARDED, but actually strangely funny.... Ugh.  I think I'm slightly dumber now...

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

Wednesday!

¡Buenas tardes!  ¿Cómo estas?  ¡Muy bien!  ¿Y tú?
Okay, I'm done now.  Sorry for the Spanish.  I'm taking Spanish I this year and, strangely enough, I'm actually really enjoying it.  I figure it must stem from my love of language; I guess that it doesn't just include English.  Haha.  I'm good at language(s).
Anyway.  I believe Wednesday's topic is books, and even if it's not--which I know it is because I remember the last time I posted on Wednesday--I'm gonna talk about books anyway.  So there.  Stick that in your juice box and suck it.
So I went shopping Monday night and I was going to order the next book in the series I've been reading, and the guy types it into his computer and goes "Seventh book?"
"Um, yeah, I think so."
"Looks like this?"  He turns his computer and shows me a very provocative book cover, rather indicative of Hamilton's story line--and obviously what I was looking for.
"Yeah, that one," I confirmed with a nod.
"It's not published yet."
I was devastated.  It was tragic.  Anybody who doesn't read books like I do wouldn't understand, but it was truly tragic.  November 20th, though.  So at least it's not terribly far away.... Actually it is, but never mind.  Just means I'll actually have to read my other books, haha.

Speaking of other books, I'm reading Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Louise Rennison.  It's about this 14-year-old British girl and it's fricken hilarious.  It's written as a journal, and it's terribly amusing.  I've gotten to a point where I don't generally enjoy books about kids at age, like, 14....but I like this one a lot.  I don't know why; I just don't.  It's hard to explain.  It's kind of like "yeah, whatever" I think... I don't know.  There's just something about kids that age that bothers me a whole hell of a lot.  And don't roll your eyes at me, because I didn't like us when I was that age, either.  Someone's saying "wait, she didn't like herself because of her age?"  No, I didn't like myself and/or my peers because of the mentalities/states of mind that we were in because of our age.  So there.
Anyway!  About ATAFFS.  She goes to an all-girls' school and they have to wear berets--which causes some rather amusing journal entries--but anyway, as all 14-year-olds are, boys are her main focus, haha.  (I won't bother denying it.  They were mine, too.  Well, okay, not main, but they were definitely a key focus.)  And she has a totally massive bizarro cat named Angus.  haha. I know, right?  There's an amusing story with that, too.  So far, I have in my possession books 1-4, and I'm pretty excited about it.  haha.

One of my best friends also gave me My Fair Godmother by Janette Rallison to read, but I haven't started it yet.  She said it was really good though.  Despite a little cliche, which isn't always bad.

But I'm gonna conclude our book talk for today because my choir class just started and I really ought to get to that, haha.  My conductor's pretty cool, and I spent my EIE period in his office because another class was using the room. So anyway.

Until next time, With love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

Post Playlist (courtesy of http://www.pandora.com/):
Down--Something Corporate (North)
Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)--Lostprophets (Liberation Transmission)
The Rock Show--Blink 182 (Take Off Your Pants and Jacket [Explicit])\
Forward Motion--Reliant K (Two Lefts Don't Make a Right...But Three Do)
Memory--Sugarcult (Palm Trees and Power Lines)
Blurry--Puddle of Mudd (Come Clean)
Dance Inside--The All-American Rejects (Move Along)
You Found Me--The Fray (The Fray)
I Don't Know About You, But I Came to Party--Forever the Sickest Kids (Television Off, Party On EP)
She Is the West Coast--That Was Something (Down But Not Out)

Music Monday

Goodness gracious, it's been a disastrously long time since I've posted anything here.  Two weeks, a little more?  Something along those lines.  September 29-October 12; that makes 14 days--exactly two weeks.  Damn it, I'm good! haha.  Anyway, moving along.

So, in the past two weeks, I've bought 10 CDs.  [scratches back of neck in slight sheepishness] Oh, who am I kidding?  I'm not ashamed of myself in the least.  Other girls buy clothes, makeup, shoes--I buy those, too, just not as much--with their money, I buy music.  It's a damn good investment, if you ask me.  So there.
I figured out one day last week--Wednesday, actually; the day of my dentist appointment--that I have bought at least 59 CDs this year.  And those are the ones I recall buying in 09, not 08.  It's give or take, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.  From here on out, I'm counting. I've already spent $600+ on music alone this year.  And I have bought clothes, makeup, shoes, notebooks and writing utensils, food, et cetera.  That adds up to a fuckload of money I've spent this year, dude.  My teacher gave us some statistic about how much money teens spend in a year, but I never really believed him.  I think, starting January, I might start keeping receipts and adding shit up.  Talk about a very scary endeavor. =S
Anyway! Back to the music I've bought in the past 2 weeks!
The albums consist of:
AFI--Crash Love
Breathe Carolina--"Hello Fascination"
Never Shout Never--The Summer EP
Jeffree Star--Beauty Killer
Saosin--In Search of Solid Ground
Mayday Parade--Anywhere But Here
Relient K--Forget and Not Slow Down
Skillet--Awake
Thousand Foot Krutch--Welcome to the Masquerade
All Time Low--Put Up or Shut Up
Paramore--Brand New Eyes

AFI's is abso-fucking-lutely amazing as HELL.  I love it a lot.
Breathe Carolina's is definitely an impressive progression from "It's Classy, Not Classic."  Both of them are awesome albums, full of the cool electric stuff that I love so much and poppy/punky screamo.  I'm quite impressed.
Never Shout Never was surprisingly adorable, and pretty much exactly the opposite of what I was expecting.  It was double cool with knobs, as the Brit in my book (Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Louise Rennison) puts it--meaning incredibly cool, just without all the "very"s that people might throw in, like "very very very cool"--anyway--and "I Just Smile" when I listen to it.  I'll definitely have to be on the lookout for their other albums.
Jeffree Star's album is pretty much as fricken awesome as I was expecting it to be.  Jeffree is as beautifully cocky and....somewhat violent...as always, but this time in a full-length, 12-tracked CD available in stores like Target, in bigger cities than where I'm at.  Which is okay, because we have a Hot Topic, which is where I buy 95% of my music anyway.  Lollipop Luxury, which was on the "Cupcakes Taste Like Violence" EP has been redone just a bit and placed on the album.  Prisoner, found on the Warped Tour Compilation Album 2009, is also on Beauty Killer, along with the title track, Louis Vuitton Body Bag--which taught me how to correctly say the name of that designer, oops, haha--and Getting Away With Murder, all with their fair share of "I'm beautiful, love me!" and violence.  For example, Louis Vuitton Body Bag starts out with "stab you with scissors, and let's hold hands."  Friendly mix of "I hate you" and "let's be friends =)!"  Only...haha, not so much.
Saosin's new album is...a completely new ball game from the last, and I really, really love it.  It seems as though my musical tastes are evolving along with the bands' that I listen to.  Anyway.  There's not quite as much screaming on this album as the last, and I'm 100% okay with that.  Don't get me wrong, I like good screamo, but... I prefer singing in my music.  I'm sure all the "metal-heads" (listening to screamo, which is pretty much an emo rip-off of metal--an opinion for which I'll get ripped up by others for) out there are glaring at their screens when/if they read this.  But like I said, I like my fair share of screamo, but there's just something about being able to SING along with my music... I'm not so big on screaming along...just saying.  ANYWAY.  The album is really good, and I recommend at least going and looking at it.  I thoroughly enjoy it.  All of it.
Mayday Parade's new album is definitely my favorite along with AFI's.  It's absolutely amazing.  Bruised and Scarred is in my mind constantly, and I don't mind at all, because I completely love it.  There's a certain hope, or...something...on this album that the last didn't have--in respect to the words, I mean.  There's just a completely different feel to it, for me, at least.  I don't know about the rest of you.  But then, I'm in a different state of mind than I used to be.  Maybe that has something to do with it.  I don't know.  Regardless, Anywhere But Here is a beautiful, inspiring album.  I've used quotes from a couple of the songs in my messenger displays already.  Definitely a #1 recommendation.  Go buy it! NOW! haha. Kidding.  But seriously.
Relient K's new album is all right.  I mean, it's Relient K.  Has their sound ever changed?  I'm not certain.  Regardless, the vocals are still nice, and the guitars are still pretty good.  They're still Christian, still pretty soft, still Relient K.  But I like them that way.  So "just another RK album" is still a plus.
Skillet's new album makes me think that they had all of this planned out.  Collide, Comatose, Awake.  Hm.  Sensing a pattern?  I don't know.  I sure as hell am.  Anyway, it's a really amazing, powerful album.  Lucy made me teary-eyed, but I didn't actually cry.  I was on the road to work, actually; crying wasn't much of an option.  But Monster is really moving, Awake is strong and fast, and it's just reflected in the entire album.  It's Not Me It's You is another really good listen.  I give the album a solid 4.5 stars, lacking the final .5 because, still, though Skillet is amazing, and so is Comatose, Awake is just a touch of a repeat on Comatose.  I mean, the sounds are so similar.  Actually, on second thought, I'm going to make it a 4.75, because it's different enough to make another quarter point.  Also a #1 recommendation.

Thousand Foot Krutch's album is definitely just more TFK.  I mean, shit, don't get me wrong, it's good and all, but it's just another album of the same-old.  I'll like it a lot for awhile, and then it'll just be more music, and then I won't even feel like listening to it for awhile.  Just like the other albums.  Not a good track record... Oh well, they put on a really good concert.  I was impressed.  One of the first live bands I ever saw, so it's still a fond memory.  And I have a hat. ^^  haha.  I like it.  Don't wear it much, but I like it.  The one really interesting thing about this album is that the "chick" on the front cover, looks strangely like a man. Seriously!  Look at that jaw line!  It's intensely masculine. Maybe it's me?  But inside the cover, it's got a chick holding the mask, and she looks fine.  I don't know.  I know that "she's" got long hair there, and her lips are...somewhat plumpish but so what?  Guys have long hair! And some have nice lips!  It's just weird, that's all.  I'm terribly sorry if I just offended some chick with a strong, masculine jawline.  I also unfortunately have some strangely masculine traits, too... but I prefer to think that most are personality wise, haha.  =S  shutting up now.

All Time Low's sophomore album, Put Up or Shut Up.  It's fun.  Definitely as fun as the next two, which, of course, I do own.  I don't have a lot to say about this album, except that Jacie Ray is definitely my favorite song on it.  Oh, and I still rather love Alex Gaskarth.  haha

And lastly, Paramore's newest, Brand New Eyes... It's good.  They've gotten really, really, REALLY big since Twilight, because they've got a couple of songs on the album.  I need to go get that, speaking of which.  The soundtrack, not the movie.  I didn't like the movie.  The soundtrack rocks, though.  (Oh, and just saying, I was a fan of Supermassive Black Hole and Muse LONG before Twilight.  So there.)  Anyway.  Paramore.  It's a good album, but I don't have to say a lot about it since "everyone who's anyone will have this album anyway."  Maybe not.  I don't know.  But Hayley's voice is still awesome and fiery red--I see voices in color to clear things up--and the guitar is still moving and clean.  I like it.  The drum beats are pretty damn cool, too.

Thankfully that wraps things up, because the bell for the end of the day rings in 2 minutes.  Hah. SO!

Until next time, with love

--Emily

~xoxo~

Post Playlist (courtesy of first my Zune and then http://www.pandora.com/):
End Transmission--AFI (Crash Love)
Miseria Cantara-The Beginning--AFI (Sing the Sorrow)
When I Get Home, You're So Dead--Mayday Parade (Tales Told by Dead Friends)
Like a Knife--Secondhand Serenade (A Twist in My Story)
Heels Over Head--Boys Like Girls (Boys Like Girls)
Running From Lions--All Time Low (Put Up or Shut Up)
When I Grow Up--Mayday Parade (Punk Goes Pop: Vol. II) [Pussycat Dolls cover]
Sweat the Battle Before The Battle Sweats You--Cute is What We Aim For (The Same Old Blood Rush (With a New Touch))
I Want to Save You--Something Corporate (Leaving Through the Window)
Your Call--Secondhand Serenade (A Twist in My Story)
Myspace Girl--The Afters (Never Going Back to OK)
Everything You Ever Wanted--Hawk Nelson (Smile, It's the End of the World)
Captain's Chair--Sanctus Real (Fight the Tide)
Letters to the President--Hawk Nelson (Letters to the President)
Gone--Switchfoot (The Beautiful Letdown)
One Real Thing--Skillet (Alien Youth)
When Our Hearts Sing--Rush of Fools (Rush of Fools)
Sing--Sanctus Real (We Need Each Other)
Meant to Live--Switchfoot (The Beautiful Letdown)
We Change, We Wait--The Maine (The Way We Talk)
The Way She Moves--Forever the Sickest Kids (Underdog Alma Matter)
F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X--The Fall of Troy (Doppleganger)

AAAAAAAAACKK!!!

Goodness sakes, It's almost been a whole week since I've posted anything!  My sincerest apologies.  (Not that anyone cares, but still.)  I meant to post something over the weekend, but a new development in the health of my tendons greatly diminished my list of weekend activities, as well as working for eight hours both days and helping with an event an organization I'm an officer of.... If that made any sense at all, I'm stunned...

ANYWAY!  It's Tuesday...and I'm kinda thinking this whole introducing a public figure thing isn't gonna work so very well...  I don't know... I never know who to talk about...  So I'll ramble a little, since I'm so good at it.

This week at school is homecoming week.  I should've taken pictures the last couple of days of my outfits, but I haven't.  Yesterday was pajama day, and today was 80s!  Today was rather fun.  Side-ponies and everything!  Ohh, sometimes, to be honest, I wish we still dressed like that.  It's so fun and random!  And, I guess I don't think it necessarily all looks SO ridiculous... Okay, it's pretty damn ridiculous, but so is a lot of what we wear NOW.
I mean, really?  The pants that girls wear, myself included, are so terribly unflattering to anyone who wears more than a size 2, maybe 4.  They stop halfway up the curve of our hips, so no matter what you do, you've got muffin-top, and that's icky.  And then our shirts are skin tight and necklines continue to plunge and hems continue to rise.... Okay, tell me something: Why, in the era of overweight people as a majority, are we going back to the form-fitting designs that DO NOT WORK on fat people?  Now, I'm a size 8--usually--and I'm not going to deny that I weigh a bit more than necessary, and I've got some baggage.  If I wanted to, I could slim down the rest of the way, but...can't seem to find the motivation.  Fine.  So I wear pants that come higher--and the other thing is that hip-huggers are CONSTANTLY falling down.  I HATE pulling my pants up all the time!--but still below my belly button, and they provide better shape for me.  I suddenly don't look like I weigh 30 extra pounds--I don't really; I'm not that overweight--and I actually feel better about myself.
The other thing I really don't get is why we all pay to be billboards for some company.  Aero, Abercrombie, Fox, Hollister, and Am. Eagle--and Roxy--are probably the worst around here where I live.  Everything they put out has their name plastered across at least the majority of the garment.  I don't get it!  Oh well, whatever.

And why is denim so fucking expensive?  $30 for a pair of jeans, and that's cheap!?  What the hell?  I'm sorry; I love jeans, but they're not worth any $40.  It's just denim.  Really, people.

$120 sunglasses...Um, okay?  Why?  Put them on and they're......just sunglasses.  You can get the exact same pair with a different name for like, $15, or $20.  Ooohhh.... I bought mine for $10.  At that rate, I can afford a new pair of sunglasses periodically.

I don't know anymore.  I think everything's ridiculous.  Even what I buy is still somewhat ridiculous, but I can't help it.  It's what's available, after all.  Oh, how I miss the days of better clothing.

Do you remember the bleach-your-jeans era?  I was mid grade school.  All of a sudden, there were random bleach patterns EVERYWHERE.  I also remember the checkered ones, that had seams on the outside for every square?  haha....those were amusing.  I think someone in my class had a pair... but I only vaguely remember all the way back then, haha.  Actually, I remember most things surprisingly well from my childhood.  It's what I ate for lunch--or if I did at all--that I have trouble with.
I'm only sort of kidding...

But I'm gonna go to bed now.  BEcause I'm tired.  I realize it's only 20 to 11, but I'm still tired.  So there.  And I have work tomorrow.  =[  I suddenly really don't wanna.....oh well.  I'm quitting shortly anyway, with any luck.  Cross your fingers for me.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~

It's Wednesday!

...What's Wednesday mean?  I completely just forgot... music monday, intro tuesday.... fucker... [storms out to check, grumbling]  BOOKS!!  That's it.  I forgot, obviously.  Whoops. My bad.

So I finished How I Became Stupid, and I liked the ending a whole lot.  It was quite amusing, as a matter of fact... although it did seem a little unfinished.  I think I give it....4.3 stars. (Of 5, obviously.)
Still reading Mistral's Kiss, but I'm almost done with it.
Deathwish is still just kinda sitting in the pile of stuff I carry everywhere...waiting for me to get to it.  Sorry, Cal; I'll read you eventually.

Today I think I'll talk about Generation Dead, and the sequel, A Kiss of Death--which I haven't finished yet, obviously.  Generation dead is about how all of a sudden, teenagers are dying...but not really.  They're coming back as zombies--ahem, my bad, "living impaired."--and some of them function quite well, others hardly at all.  They talk slow, have monotone-voices, and are, of course, quite pale.  However.  Anyway, there's a lot of controversy over the whole dead-kid issue thing and whether they were now citizens or not or whatever.  Some of them don't want to be with "the beating-hearts" and some of them do.  It's hard to really describe.  Regardless, the plot and writing style make it a really intense read, keeping you on pins and needles page after page until you've burned through the whole thing and you're left sitting there going, "Hey, hang on a minute!"
So then you get your hand on the sequel, A Kiss of Life.  And the intensity hasn't dropped at all.  It's still pins and needles through this thing--it's a wonder I got it put down, haha.  I guarantee, it'll be the first I pick up when I need another book.

So that's it for the week!  Short, I know.  I'm sorry.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~

(sorry; no playlist again.  I've taken to writing these at night when it's unavailable.  I'll try to change it up one of these days and give you some music again.  kay?  ^.^ loves!)

Introduction Tuesday

umm.... Jeffree Star!

Jeffree Star is a...mm... Well, he's a musical artist, model, makeup artist and hair stylist...hm, what else?  Oh. He's flaming gay...if you can't tell.
He grew up in California, and started wearing his mom's clothes in high school and sneaking out to clubs and stuff to see celebrities and do their hair and makeup and the like.
I watched a video he put on Buzznet once about how he'd almost won prom queen in high school, but lost because apparently someone was intensely uncomfortable with it.  (Sorry, Jeffrey, you're pretty, but I might've felt a smidge awkward, too.)
He's incredibly gay.  But he's also incredibly lovely--in my opinion, which may seem twisted.  However, you can't deny that the man has beautiful bone structure, incredible eyes, and really nice skin.  And his voice is nice, too.  Kind of a....a.... this sounds dumb, but his voice is kind of like, hot pink.  Bright, hot, excited, but still smooth; can have a sharp quality to it sometimes, I guess.  Anyway, his hair's been every color under the sun, I've come to understand, although I've mostly only seen pictures of him platinum blonde, hot pink, or, recently, creamsicle orange with hot pink "peekaboo"--underneath layer... (My hairstylist friend called it that one time. I don't know.)  Shown above.  He's also really glamorous, haha, imagine that, right?
So anyway, the guy gets out there and starts--seemingly randomly--recording songs and EPs and throwing them out there and stuff, making a name for himself--and scaring people, I think...  Finally in 08, he released Cupcakes Taste Like Violence EP and now, TODAY, he released his FULL LENGTH ALBUM Beauty Killer!!  Can you tell I'm excited?  I'm fucking pumped.  I NEED to get somewhere where I can get a hold of that thing.  Swear to God....ugh.

Anyway.  Umm.....so yeah.  The guy's actually really intelligent for all he's cocky and show-offy and stuff.  He's quite insightful.  There's more to him than just multi-colored hair and lots of makeup.  He can be pretty overbearing sometimes>>for example, starting biographies on websites with "One time God told me it was unhealthy to be so popular.  That's probably why I'm sick all the time">>but I think it's all part of the package.
He wrote a blog once about makeup, and it's really true, and I love how he addressed the issue.  Not that makeup's an issue or anything, but....you'd have to read it.  He's a really powerful speaker, and he's good at communicating thoughts and ideas; it's just whether or not you're willing to accept them.

So that's my celebrity for the week!  I didn't post yesterday not because I forgot, but because I just didn't wanna.  So I didn't.  So there.  Stick that in your juice box and suck it!  But never mind, haha.  I shouldn't be so rude.... =]  I love you!

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~


(no playlist, but Punk Bitch by 3Oh!3 has been playing in my head the entire time...)

Only a Poem

I've only got a poem for you tonight, because I don't really have much to say.

Darkness

~Emi Renae

Why does the darkness always look

      so far away,

but when you look around it’s

      right beside you?

      Around you…

      in you?

Always within arm’s reach, but

      unobtainable.

      Impossible to find.

My life is shrouded in darkness.

      Darkness of uncertainty

      darkness of doubt

      darkness of pain…

      of unhappiness…

      of fear.

There are lights in the Darkness,

      meant to push that Darkness away

But it seems I’m good at flinging

      light behind me

      to feel my way alone…

It is the nature of things,

      to undergo this darkness of life.

But they say it is always darkest just

      before the dawn…

So some day…when the time is right…

      Dawn will come.

And life will be light.

But until that day, it is

      the lanterns,

      the flashlights

      the help along the way that really matters.

Until next time, with love,

--Emily

~xoxo~

Without You?

You know...I've seen so many people go on and on about how their blog or whatever simply couldn't go on and couldn't exist without followers/readers/whatever and blah blah blah so thanks for reading and caring and blah blah blah.

Honestly?  One: yes, your blog could go on without them.  Trust me.  Mine does.  Although I think I actually have one follower now...But I'm not so sure about him, because he's following like, a million other blogs.  Oh well; whatever. Beggars can't be choosers.  Two: people who follow you don't actually want to notice that your blog's been updated, just to get excited and then find out that...oh.  he's just thanking me for reading.  Well, that was a waste of time.  Trust me.  We've been there.  I mean, to sneak in a "Hey, thanks for reading and commenting" once in awhile is fine--great, even, because it means you think about it when you're doing whatever.  It's just... I don't know.  To me, it seems more meaningful.

But I guess that's my opinion.  And I'm only in high school, after all.  And since when does anyone really care about what teenagers have to say or think about a subject/topic?  Precisely.  Which is why I can write this and not really care.  Because no one's going to read it and be offended.  And if they are?  Well... their loss for being so easily offended, I suppose.  I'm not trying to be rude or offensive at all.  Just speaking an opinion over here.  I do still have the right of free speech right?  That's what I thought.  (I know that I also have to take responsibility for the reaction to my opinions and declarations, because that's the other half of free speech.  And I'm good with that.  Honest.  I'll take the heat for something I believe in.

If you can't stand up for what believe in, then what good are you?

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

Saturday!

It's been a long, lazy day during the course of which I've been called twice to see if I could go work.  I said no, actually.  I needed to be around just in case someone needed me to bring them somewhere or something.  It's harvest; shit needs to get done quickly.  It's just how it is.

So there's not a lot to report.  I'm now a deviant--in other words, I have an account on www.deviantart.com --and imvu is great for meeting goofballs.  (It's a 3D chat game thing...kind of amusing to play with sometimes.  Pointless? Oh, but of course.)


Anyway... umm.....I really need to finish reading How I Became Stupid tomorrow.  It's due on the 25th and I'd like to have it done before that.  I don't have much of it left, though, so it shouldn't take too long.  I'm hoping Antoine decides that he was better off being intelligent...just saying.
11:11--make a wish.
Does anyone actually believe that?  I don't.  My best friend started me on doing that last year, and since then, I do it most of the time if I catch it, but I don't believe it.  I'd like to, but nothing ever comes true.  So... C'est la vi.  Whatever.


Is a wish technically a prayer, just by another name?  You're kind of asking for something....to nobody in particular, except...well, God, considering everything is of God.  But now we're getting into some heavy theology and I'm not going to make you hate me just yet.  Because I have my opinions and nobody I've talked to seems to really like them...  Oh well.  It's what I believe.  I'm not into this whole organized religion thing.  It's when it gets organized where corruption comes in.  And man, I'm tellin' ya; I've experienced the corruption in church.  Trust me.


Anyway...that's a discussion for another time.  Definitely not now, or here.

Videos of the week!:
All Time Low--Dear Maria, Count Me In http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcNiKCmWdYE
ATL--Poppin' Champagne http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNX6QeFBEYQ
ATL--Six Feet Under the Stars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDg5xhyS3js
ATL--Weightless http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpG3BxRctQ4
HP Puppet Pals--The Mysterious Ticking Noise http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4
the last because, though I've seen it a million times, it's still fricken hilarious.  One year when I went to music camp, a group of kids did that skit for the talent show.  I laughed.  A lot.  It was great.  C=

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

(no playlist because this computer is being STUPID and won't play my radio station. [pouts])

Whoopsie!

I just realized that I missed yesterday's post as I glanced at the clock and realized I had 36 minutes to write this one.  My bad.  This hasn't been a great week, has it? haha.  Sorry.

So I talk about something I'm writing on Thursdays...

I'm writing this story that I call "A Second Chance (Or Two)" about a girl who lives in Bloomington, Minnesota... but she goes to school in Eden Prairie.  (Which I just now decided, but never mind.)  Anyway, she's incredibly frustrated with her entire situation, because she doesn't want to still be going to school in Eden Prairie, and she doesn't want to be tutoring someone every single day of the week.  When the story picks up, she's getting another student.  A "study buddy" of sorts.  Because he just doesn't feel like doing his homework.  She's pissed, by the way.
So anyway, she's only going to school there for the remainder of the week that this guy gets assigned to her, and then she transfers to Kennedy in Bloomington (which I chose because my best friend just moved there...just saying...).  Frank--newest tutor student--isn't terribly pleased, as he was trying his damnedest to make friends with the bitchy girl who wasn't friends with anyone.  Only then, her last day, she's nice, and he just really doesn't know how to take it.
The dilemma comes in here: Friday night, Saundra goes home, and she ends up driving Frank to his cousin's, who's actually her next-door-neighbor.  Go figure.  So anyway, they invite her to this show in this club downtown--that they're not technically supposed to be in--and she goes because, after all, why the hell not?
They keep giving her drinks, so she drinks them, even though she knows better, but she just doesn't care.  She ends up bumping into the vocalist for the band she went to see--only she doesn't know it's him because she's kind of drunk--and he takes her home.
THIS is where dilemma comes in: I haven't decided if I'm going to have her feel like a complete retard for going out and partying and then getting together with Damon (vocalist) OR if she decides that it was a shitload of fun and so she starts doing the partying thing.... from there, after about two weeks, she would decide that the whole rebel thing just didn't matter anymore and she wasn't enjoying herself, at which point she seeks the help of Damon, and then they'd get together. 
I'm not positive what I'm going to do, but I'm writing both paths at this point.  First draft I took the first path; second draft is going to branch.  I'm going to write both, but the latter idea in a different place, just to see how things go.  If it proves to be too much trouble, I'll stick with idea 1.  But if it proves to be more interesting--when I write it--then I'll go with idea 2.  We'll see.
I don't really know how to end it.  All I know is that there's conflict with Saundra and Damon and Frank in various directions and then Saundra's keeping secrets about her late father... but I've yet to decide what precisely the exact secret(s) is/are.  So we'll see.

Eventually, one day, I shall be in print! I swear to it.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

Reading Wednesday

So....I totally missed yesterday.  Oops.  But I had work til 10 and when I got home, I just really didn't feel like bothering....so sorry. My bad.  Oh well, though. You'll go a week without a public figure, won't you?  I'm sure you'll make it.

So I'm only going to tell you about "How I Became Stupid" by Martin Page this week, because I told you about the other two I'm reading last week.  I could bring in "A Kiss of Life" but I think I'll save it until I'm back into it, okay?  Okay.

So...so far, Antoine has decided that intelligence is a disease, and he's very much afflicted.  So first he decides he's going to be an alcoholic, only a physiological difficulty makes that impossible.  (He got alcohol poisoning after half a glass of beer.  Keep in mind this is a book, although I'm sure it's possible.)  So then he decides he's going to commit suicide, because he figures he'd much rather be dead than alive...Only he goes to a class on how to do it, and at the conclusion of the class, he decides that, though he's not so enthused about being alive, he doesn't wish to be dead, either...
So finally, he arrives at the conclusion that he wishes to be stupid.  Because, quote: "ignorance is bliss."  So his doctor (funny story there, actually) gives him a prescription for "Happyzac"--real? fictional?--which is supposed to be some kind of stupidifying anti-depressant.  I'm still working on the results with this, but his friends are all concerned for him.  I'm not so sure about this guy, myself...  But I've only got a few dozen pages left to go--it's a short book--so I'll have it finished by the due date, at least.  [=  And then I'll have read another book that Harri has, and my life shall be one step closer to complete.  Haha, I'm kidding.

But that was awfully short....I'm tempted to bring up A Kiss of Life... perhaps I'll just recommend reading Generation Dead and leave you with that, hm?  Interesting book.  My friend had a hard time following it, but I didn't.  It's pretty intense, though.  Good read, however; definitely a good read.  I enjoyed it.  Thoroughly.  I kind of predicted the ending, in a way, but... oh well.  You're so wrapped up in what's happening per paragraph you don't have time to sweat predictability--which there isn't much of, really.  So yeah.


Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

(No playlist, because I wrote this in bed and in like, 20 minutes tops.  So there.  Ha.)

Music Monday!!

Well, hello again.  I realize that it says I've made two posts today, but it was only because I didn't make yesterday's before midnight.  Damn.  Oh well; now I'm on the other side of my 5 hours of sleep, making it Monday.  C=  Anyway, on to the discussion of music.

Last week I talked to you about AFI and, if I recall correctly, Blaqk Audio--because they're the same people, after all.  So this week, I shall move on to a new obsession: All Time Low

All Time Low started in Baltimore, Maryland in '03, with members Alex Gaskarth (lead vocals/guitar), Jack Barakat (guitar), Rian Dawson (bass), and Zack Merrick (drums).  The name of their band came from a line of a New Found Glory song, Head On Collision.  (Since I know that song, I can tell you that the line was "And it feels like I'm at an all time low..." and then the song proceeds into the chorus.
The band started out doing covers of other punk bands and then put out their first studio album in '05.  The next came out in '07, and their newest, Nothing Personal, just came out this year in '09.  I have both Nothing Personal and So Wrong, It's Right, their '07 album.  I love them both. I'm so stuck on them both, I even got a bronze listening award from my Zune software..for like, two weeks!  Anyway.
I think they're great.  Alex has an incredible voice, and the actual music is really, really good.  And it's so much fun!  When I bought Nothing Personal, I didn't actually know that it was the new one--because I didn't know anything about them, other than that I liked "Remembering Sunday," the song that was on my Take Action Vol. VIII CD--until I got home and looked them up on Myspace to find that their page said it was coming out...in 2 days?  So I was confused, but I went with it.  So then as soon as I could possibly, I went and bought So Wrong, It's Right, and I'm still after The Party Scene--and whatever else I can find by them.
Anyway.  There's so much fan fiction on Quizilla--a website that, for whatever reason, I still use after discovering it in like, 5th grade...--about the members of this band that it's rather ridiculous. I almost said that it was "on the verge of" but no, it's well into the realm of.
So yeah... I've gathered that they attended a Dulaney High School, but that could just be people assuming stuff.  I think, though, judging by everything I've found around, that they did.  As if it matters, right?  I totally hear you.
They were the cover article in one of my APs, though.  A full (I think) 4 page article on them.  I...think I read it.... I'm pretty sure I did, but that was when I didn't know them and didn't really care.  Now that's not the case, so maybe I'll go back and reread it.  (I keep all of my Alt. Presses.  Because I love them.  I'm actually missing at least one.  My family didn't give it to me, and then probably threw it away.  >=S  That makes me unhappy.)

But yeah.  Just saying?  Gaskarth is really effing hot.  And Barakat's pretty cute, too.  But Gaskarth is hotter.  By far.  I was watching ATL videos on YouTube the other day, and practically melting at certain points during the videos when they focused on his face and he got that super cute little grin on his face... [le sigh...] [shakes head] Sorry.  Drifting again.  Haha.  That really has nothing to do with why I like the band, though.  Not going to lie, it makes it that much sweeter, but I'd like them regardless.  I like BuckCherry and Seether, and Shinedown, and none of them have cute members.  It's got nothing to do with anyone.  In fact, I find it amusing when girls--or guys, for that matter--like a band because someone in it is hot.  That's not liking a band, that's thinking someone's hot.  That's so dumb.  Like a band for its music; not the physical state of its members.  Oh well; whatever.  Think what you want; you've already made up your mind, just as I've made up mine.
So with that, my Music Monday spiel on All Time Low is at a close.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~


blog playlist (courtesy of www.jango.com --because I used headphones tonight!):
Bulls in Brooklyn--The Academy Is...
This is Who We Are--Cartel
Freak Out--Avril Lavigne (I don't recall the song I'm listening to actually having that name, but okay...)
Hello Seattle--Owl City
All You Wanted--Michelle Branch (I love this song; I'm fighting the desire to sing along with it....it's hard.)
Play Dead--HIM
Love with a Motive--The Audition
The Best--Cartel
Be My Escape [Acoustic]--Reliant K

Dammit! I Missed Sunday!

Okay, so I had work until 11, and I didn't get home until about half an hour ago, and then I had to shower and stuff, so it's now technically Monday as I'm writing Sunday's post.  This one will be short, though, because I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning, and less than 6 hours of sleep is always a pain in the ass.

Work was just fine.  My manager poked fun at me for something that happened 2 weeks ago and caused major drama... but never mind.  I might tell you later sometime.  We'll see.  This guy that I work with, Cody, is a huge goofball.  I don't know about him...
But he's taking the train back to Washington in the morning because his sister got hit by a car--drunk driver--like, a week or two ago, and she just died apparently.  So he's going back for her funeral, and I guess his dad is AWOL.  They can't find him.  Nobody's seen him since he got the news, I guess, so....who knows?  I feel kind of bad for the guy, though.  He hasn't had it easy ever in his life...

Anyway, so I get off of work at just after 11, right?  And I walk out with my boombox in tow, and past this white pickup with these two guys in it, and the guy in the passenger seat is staring at me. And I wasn't even singing (as per usual) or anything!  So I looked at him, and then turned forward again, but I could tell in my peripheral vision that he was still watching me, right?
So I get into my car, and I was getting situated and everything, and the guy in the passenger seat fricken gets out and starts walking toward my car!!  I was like, uh oh...  I rolled down my window partway, prepared to be hit on--what the hell else would happen?--and he grabs a hold of my car door around the window, leans toward the window, almost until he's leaning into the car, and says, "So we were wondering if you knew of any parties going on tonight?"  And I'm thinking, dude, are you serious?
So I told him: "No.  The only people I know of that would be partying aren't because there's school in the morning.........But there are a handful of bars in town; you could go there."
And he's giving me this look, like...you know the look that guys get when they're thinking about what they'd do to you if they could just get you drunk enough to say yes?  Well, the look he was giving me was damn similar...scarily similar, actually.  Anyway.  So he shifts on his feet and gets closer, and he's like, "So what are you doing tonight?"
Are you kidding me?  Are you fucking kidding me?  I'm thinking, right?  And all I can focus on are his quarter inch, maybe three-eighths inch gauges and my immediate withdrawal, because I'm leaning as far away from teh guy as I can without being conspicuous about it and all.  He wasn't really even that cute...just saying.  So anyway, I told him I'm going home.  And he repeated me incredulously, like he couldn't believe I would shoot down that obvious invitation--but I have SCHOOL in the morning! Hello!!--and nodded and then finally walked away.

So I started Coming Undone by Korn blasting out of my car speakers with the window down on my way out of the parking lot.  He stared at me again.  Go figure.  (That was actually kind of the point, that time.)

I suppose realistically it wasn't much of a big deal at all, but it was by far the most interesting event of the weekend.  And he wasn't even drunk!!  Sad, isn't it?  Oi.  What's that say about my weekend that that was the most interesting event?  Ah well; so it goes.  Maybe next weekend shall be better.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~

(No playlist, because I'm supposed to be sleeping...)

Better Now

Okay, so um....I'm sorry about last night's post.  I'm okay now.  I was just having a moment, as teenagers do.  I've been frustrated/stressed lately, and I explained what pricked my bubble, and I just popped.  It all just came out.  Well, most of it came out, but I'm not going to go back to add more.  I don't feel like complaining at present.


So I'm hoping that, since it rained all day yesterday and I'm positive it's too wet to combine, we can go to Minot to get my little brother, Matthew, a haircut... And I want one, too.  I'm sick of what I've got.  I knew what I wanted, and the hairstylist decided that I didn't really and cut it her way.  It was okay for a little while, but now I'm just sick of it.  I can never make my hair do the shit that the salons do.  It's frustrating.  But I think I know what I want right now, so I'll go in with a definite picture in my head, tell her what I want, and just get it.  She won't change my mind.
I learned a few weeks ago that people have like, a hairstylist that they go to.  I was reading something on Twitter, and Cassadee Pope (Hey Monday vocalist) said she cheated on her hair stylist.... and I thought, wait, what?  Because I don't have one.  I get my hair cut by somebody different every time.  I've gotten my hair cut in three different places, even.
Oops?
Whatever.  I've never gotten a truly fabulous haircut, anyway.  Well, okay, that's not quite true, because the one I got when I cut it way short--the first time--was good.  I liked it a lot.  Since then?  I'm lucky if I like it for longer than a couple weeks.  Not fair.

Oh well.  It's not like it really matters.  Hardly anyone pays any attention whatsoever regardless.  I'm thinking about buying a straightener--er, flat-iron.  Not because I need it or anything, really--because my hair's naturally really straight--but for styling purposes.  Because you can curl with them, too, I guess.  I'd just need help once or twice...maybe, on the Fargo honor choir trip, I'll ask Anika for help.  (She's a girl in my class, and definitely my favorite.)  Who knows?

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~

Teenager Moment; Sorry

I'm 16.  How many times have I said that?  I don't know, but you should've gotten the idea by now.  And I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say but I just fucking hate everything right now.  I'm having a moment.  Earlier tonight, my mom reminded me of my dysfunctional "love" life--of how EVERYONE I've tried to like a little has been a complete fucking disaster.  Not in those words, nor quite so harshly, and when we were talking about it with my grandma--her mom--I was even joking about it.  But Goddamnit, it hurts, okay?  I really hate doing this because it shows up at the top of my page and instead of cute randomness you get teenage insecurity moment, but fuck it all, I need to say something.

I'm a nonconformist, and yes, I know that everyone fucking says that, but I actually am.  The people that shop at Hot Topic and all wear the same pants and the same shirts and the same belts are just conformists of a different nature, wearing the same haircut in the same dye-job, different variations.  Same piercings, same music, same everything.  They're just not the bright, Aero-style conformists.  They're Hot Topic conformists.  I used to try to be one of them, but I've never made it.  I can't just be one thing or another.  I'm several things.  I wear band shirts one day and super cute blouses the next.  I wear black eye-makeup one day and pastel the next.  I don't care!  I just do whatever the hell floats my boat.  I don't fit anywhere, into anything.

The people in the scene I try so hard to fall into don't like me because I'm not able to fit into the perfect mold of the "scene."  (Can you say conformism?)  I'm apparently super fucking boring, too, because I apparently just can't carry on a conversation or something.  I don't know.  But nobody's ever interested.  My mom's pretty sure the guy that took me to prom is, but he's said several times, in not so many words, that we're just friends.  And since he insisted, we are.  I liked him to begin with, but not anymore.  Actually, not since prom... *shakes head* I just...

Is it wrong to have high standards? To be picky?  Am I being too fricken picky?  I don't fricken know.  I really don't.  Some class and some decorum and some tact are apparently hard to come by, these days.  All I want is... shit.  I just want someone.

But even though I say that, I know I don't want just anyone.  I can't take just anyone!  I tried lowering my standards, at least once, but... it didn't work.  At all.  I can't be happy with...less than enough.  I just can't make myself settle, not even when it comes to dating.  I can't.

I'm just so sick of my life right now.  I'm so sick of everything, and everyone.  I'm sick of my job, of my school, my classmates, my classes that are so easy and tedious I just... I don't want to anymore.  I need to reach out, to do something, to be something more.

Because right now? The weird, bookworm writer chick just doesn't cut it.  For me, or for anyone else.  I'm so lost in my world...  Everyone's always like, just wait till college and it'll get better.  I don't want to fucking wait until college.  I have two fucking years until college.  You go two years with nothing and tell me you're okay with that because something down the road ought to be better.  It should be.  But who's to know?  I'm not okay with just wondering.  I'm not okay with it at all.

I don't want somebody to try to push me away to make me try to get closer.  When I get pushed away, I just go away.  And I don't come back.  The kids I go to school with only barely tolerate me; I'm pretty sure only a very, very small fraction of them actually like me.  It's glaringly obvious--at least to me--when they want me to just fricken go away, so I do.  I've gotten used to it.  So when I get the vibe that you don't want to talk to me, or to be around me, I just go away.  It's how I am.  I don't fight to stick around and change your opinion.  If you want to talk to me, you will.  I'm not interested in fighting for your attention with the girls that are far prettier and more interesting than I, because it's a losing battle and it's....far from rewarding.  It's just...

Will I ever be good enough?  All I want to do is cry, because that's all I've got left to me right now.  My mom doesn't know that I'm hurt, she doesn't know I'm mad, she doesn't...get that it's a really sore spot for me.  My brother doesn't either, and he pokes it all the time, like he thinks it's funny or something.  I just... I can't take it.  It's not my fault I'm not as cute as he might be, or that I'm not...whatever the fuck it is that he is to get girls to like him.  I don't have that.  I don't have it at all.  Guys just want to be my friend. Not my boyfriend. And that's hard. I don't always want to just be a friend.  I don't always want to hear about your dating problems.  I don't want to hear about what went wrong, because you need advice for the next one.  I don't want to give that advice all the time.  Is it so much to ask?  Apparently, it is.


Usually, I'm not like this.  Usually, I'm happy and bouncy and whatever.  But I've been stressed lately, and that's partly why.  I miss my best friend, and I want a life.  But I'm still 2 to my parents, so...good luck to me with that.

Sorry about the pity party.  I just needed to vent, and since nobody ever reads what I write anyway, I figure I'm probably safe to say it.

Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~