Goodness sakes, It's almost been a whole week since I've posted anything! My sincerest apologies. (Not that anyone cares, but still.) I meant to post something over the weekend, but a new development in the health of my tendons greatly diminished my list of weekend activities, as well as working for eight hours both days and helping with an event an organization I'm an officer of.... If that made any sense at all, I'm stunned...
ANYWAY! It's Tuesday...and I'm kinda thinking this whole introducing a public figure thing isn't gonna work so very well... I don't know... I never know who to talk about... So I'll ramble a little, since I'm so good at it.
This week at school is homecoming week. I should've taken pictures the last couple of days of my outfits, but I haven't. Yesterday was pajama day, and today was 80s! Today was rather fun. Side-ponies and everything! Ohh, sometimes, to be honest, I wish we still dressed like that. It's so fun and random! And, I guess I don't think it necessarily all looks SO ridiculous... Okay, it's pretty damn ridiculous, but so is a lot of what we wear NOW.
I mean, really? The pants that girls wear, myself included, are so terribly unflattering to anyone who wears more than a size 2, maybe 4. They stop halfway up the curve of our hips, so no matter what you do, you've got muffin-top, and that's icky. And then our shirts are skin tight and necklines continue to plunge and hems continue to rise.... Okay, tell me something: Why, in the era of overweight people as a majority, are we going back to the form-fitting designs that DO NOT WORK on fat people? Now, I'm a size 8--usually--and I'm not going to deny that I weigh a bit more than necessary, and I've got some baggage. If I wanted to, I could slim down the rest of the way, but...can't seem to find the motivation. Fine. So I wear pants that come higher--and the other thing is that hip-huggers are CONSTANTLY falling down. I HATE pulling my pants up all the time!--but still below my belly button, and they provide better shape for me. I suddenly don't look like I weigh 30 extra pounds--I don't really; I'm not that overweight--and I actually feel better about myself.
The other thing I really don't get is why we all pay to be billboards for some company. Aero, Abercrombie, Fox, Hollister, and Am. Eagle--and Roxy--are probably the worst around here where I live. Everything they put out has their name plastered across at least the majority of the garment. I don't get it! Oh well, whatever.
And why is denim so fucking expensive? $30 for a pair of jeans, and that's cheap!? What the hell? I'm sorry; I love jeans, but they're not worth any $40. It's just denim. Really, people.
$120 sunglasses...Um, okay? Why? Put them on and they're......just sunglasses. You can get the exact same pair with a different name for like, $15, or $20. Ooohhh.... I bought mine for $10. At that rate, I can afford a new pair of sunglasses periodically.
I don't know anymore. I think everything's ridiculous. Even what I buy is still somewhat ridiculous, but I can't help it. It's what's available, after all. Oh, how I miss the days of better clothing.
Do you remember the bleach-your-jeans era? I was mid grade school. All of a sudden, there were random bleach patterns EVERYWHERE. I also remember the checkered ones, that had seams on the outside for every square? haha....those were amusing. I think someone in my class had a pair... but I only vaguely remember all the way back then, haha. Actually, I remember most things surprisingly well from my childhood. It's what I ate for lunch--or if I did at all--that I have trouble with.
I'm only sort of kidding...
But I'm gonna go to bed now. BEcause I'm tired. I realize it's only 20 to 11, but I'm still tired. So there. And I have work tomorrow. =[ I suddenly really don't wanna.....oh well. I'm quitting shortly anyway, with any luck. Cross your fingers for me.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
It's Wednesday!
...What's Wednesday mean? I completely just forgot... music monday, intro tuesday.... fucker... [storms out to check, grumbling] BOOKS!! That's it. I forgot, obviously. Whoops. My bad.
So I finished How I Became Stupid, and I liked the ending a whole lot. It was quite amusing, as a matter of fact... although it did seem a little unfinished. I think I give it....4.3 stars. (Of 5, obviously.)
Still reading Mistral's Kiss, but I'm almost done with it.
Deathwish is still just kinda sitting in the pile of stuff I carry everywhere...waiting for me to get to it. Sorry, Cal; I'll read you eventually.
Today I think I'll talk about Generation Dead, and the sequel, A Kiss of Death--which I haven't finished yet, obviously. Generation dead is about how all of a sudden, teenagers are dying...but not really. They're coming back as zombies--ahem, my bad, "living impaired."--and some of them function quite well, others hardly at all. They talk slow, have monotone-voices, and are, of course, quite pale. However. Anyway, there's a lot of controversy over the whole dead-kid issue thing and whether they were now citizens or not or whatever. Some of them don't want to be with "the beating-hearts" and some of them do. It's hard to really describe. Regardless, the plot and writing style make it a really intense read, keeping you on pins and needles page after page until you've burned through the whole thing and you're left sitting there going, "Hey, hang on a minute!"
So then you get your hand on the sequel, A Kiss of Life. And the intensity hasn't dropped at all. It's still pins and needles through this thing--it's a wonder I got it put down, haha. I guarantee, it'll be the first I pick up when I need another book.
So that's it for the week! Short, I know. I'm sorry.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
(sorry; no playlist again. I've taken to writing these at night when it's unavailable. I'll try to change it up one of these days and give you some music again. kay? ^.^ loves!)
So I finished How I Became Stupid, and I liked the ending a whole lot. It was quite amusing, as a matter of fact... although it did seem a little unfinished. I think I give it....4.3 stars. (Of 5, obviously.)
Still reading Mistral's Kiss, but I'm almost done with it.
Deathwish is still just kinda sitting in the pile of stuff I carry everywhere...waiting for me to get to it. Sorry, Cal; I'll read you eventually.
Today I think I'll talk about Generation Dead, and the sequel, A Kiss of Death--which I haven't finished yet, obviously. Generation dead is about how all of a sudden, teenagers are dying...but not really. They're coming back as zombies--ahem, my bad, "living impaired."--and some of them function quite well, others hardly at all. They talk slow, have monotone-voices, and are, of course, quite pale. However. Anyway, there's a lot of controversy over the whole dead-kid issue thing and whether they were now citizens or not or whatever. Some of them don't want to be with "the beating-hearts" and some of them do. It's hard to really describe. Regardless, the plot and writing style make it a really intense read, keeping you on pins and needles page after page until you've burned through the whole thing and you're left sitting there going, "Hey, hang on a minute!"
So then you get your hand on the sequel, A Kiss of Life. And the intensity hasn't dropped at all. It's still pins and needles through this thing--it's a wonder I got it put down, haha. I guarantee, it'll be the first I pick up when I need another book.
So that's it for the week! Short, I know. I'm sorry.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
(sorry; no playlist again. I've taken to writing these at night when it's unavailable. I'll try to change it up one of these days and give you some music again. kay? ^.^ loves!)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Introduction Tuesday
umm.... Jeffree Star!
Jeffree Star is a...mm... Well, he's a musical artist, model, makeup artist and hair stylist...hm, what else? Oh. He's flaming gay...if you can't tell.
He grew up in California, and started wearing his mom's clothes in high school and sneaking out to clubs and stuff to see celebrities and do their hair and makeup and the like.
I watched a video he put on Buzznet once about how he'd almost won prom queen in high school, but lost because apparently someone was intensely uncomfortable with it. (Sorry, Jeffrey, you're pretty, but I might've felt a smidge awkward, too.)
He's incredibly gay. But he's also incredibly lovely--in my opinion, which may seem twisted. However, you can't deny that the man has beautiful bone structure, incredible eyes, and really nice skin. And his voice is nice, too. Kind of a....a.... this sounds dumb, but his voice is kind of like, hot pink. Bright, hot, excited, but still smooth; can have a sharp quality to it sometimes, I guess. Anyway, his hair's been every color under the sun, I've come to understand, although I've mostly only seen pictures of him platinum blonde, hot pink, or, recently, creamsicle orange with hot pink "peekaboo"--underneath layer... (My hairstylist friend called it that one time. I don't know.) Shown above. He's also really glamorous, haha, imagine that, right?
So anyway, the guy gets out there and starts--seemingly randomly--recording songs and EPs and throwing them out there and stuff, making a name for himself--and scaring people, I think... Finally in 08, he released Cupcakes Taste Like Violence EP and now, TODAY, he released his FULL LENGTH ALBUM Beauty Killer!! Can you tell I'm excited? I'm fucking pumped. I NEED to get somewhere where I can get a hold of that thing. Swear to God....ugh.
Anyway. Umm.....so yeah. The guy's actually really intelligent for all he's cocky and show-offy and stuff. He's quite insightful. There's more to him than just multi-colored hair and lots of makeup. He can be pretty overbearing sometimes>>for example, starting biographies on websites with "One time God told me it was unhealthy to be so popular. That's probably why I'm sick all the time">>but I think it's all part of the package.
He wrote a blog once about makeup, and it's really true, and I love how he addressed the issue. Not that makeup's an issue or anything, but....you'd have to read it. He's a really powerful speaker, and he's good at communicating thoughts and ideas; it's just whether or not you're willing to accept them.
So that's my celebrity for the week! I didn't post yesterday not because I forgot, but because I just didn't wanna. So I didn't. So there. Stick that in your juice box and suck it! But never mind, haha. I shouldn't be so rude.... =] I love you!
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(no playlist, but Punk Bitch by 3Oh!3 has been playing in my head the entire time...)
Jeffree Star is a...mm... Well, he's a musical artist, model, makeup artist and hair stylist...hm, what else? Oh. He's flaming gay...if you can't tell.
He grew up in California, and started wearing his mom's clothes in high school and sneaking out to clubs and stuff to see celebrities and do their hair and makeup and the like.
I watched a video he put on Buzznet once about how he'd almost won prom queen in high school, but lost because apparently someone was intensely uncomfortable with it. (Sorry, Jeffrey, you're pretty, but I might've felt a smidge awkward, too.)
He's incredibly gay. But he's also incredibly lovely--in my opinion, which may seem twisted. However, you can't deny that the man has beautiful bone structure, incredible eyes, and really nice skin. And his voice is nice, too. Kind of a....a.... this sounds dumb, but his voice is kind of like, hot pink. Bright, hot, excited, but still smooth; can have a sharp quality to it sometimes, I guess. Anyway, his hair's been every color under the sun, I've come to understand, although I've mostly only seen pictures of him platinum blonde, hot pink, or, recently, creamsicle orange with hot pink "peekaboo"--underneath layer... (My hairstylist friend called it that one time. I don't know.) Shown above. He's also really glamorous, haha, imagine that, right?
So anyway, the guy gets out there and starts--seemingly randomly--recording songs and EPs and throwing them out there and stuff, making a name for himself--and scaring people, I think... Finally in 08, he released Cupcakes Taste Like Violence EP and now, TODAY, he released his FULL LENGTH ALBUM Beauty Killer!! Can you tell I'm excited? I'm fucking pumped. I NEED to get somewhere where I can get a hold of that thing. Swear to God....ugh.
Anyway. Umm.....so yeah. The guy's actually really intelligent for all he's cocky and show-offy and stuff. He's quite insightful. There's more to him than just multi-colored hair and lots of makeup. He can be pretty overbearing sometimes>>for example, starting biographies on websites with "One time God told me it was unhealthy to be so popular. That's probably why I'm sick all the time">>but I think it's all part of the package.
He wrote a blog once about makeup, and it's really true, and I love how he addressed the issue. Not that makeup's an issue or anything, but....you'd have to read it. He's a really powerful speaker, and he's good at communicating thoughts and ideas; it's just whether or not you're willing to accept them.
So that's my celebrity for the week! I didn't post yesterday not because I forgot, but because I just didn't wanna. So I didn't. So there. Stick that in your juice box and suck it! But never mind, haha. I shouldn't be so rude.... =] I love you!
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(no playlist, but Punk Bitch by 3Oh!3 has been playing in my head the entire time...)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Only a Poem
I've only got a poem for you tonight, because I don't really have much to say.
Darkness
~Emi Renae
Why does the darkness always look
so far away,
but when you look around it’s
right beside you?
Around you…
in you?
Always within arm’s reach, but
unobtainable.
Impossible to find.
My life is shrouded in darkness.
Darkness of uncertainty
darkness of doubt
darkness of pain…
of unhappiness…
of fear.
There are lights in the Darkness,
meant to push that Darkness away
But it seems I’m good at flinging
light behind me
to feel my way alone…
It is the nature of things,
to undergo this darkness of life.
But they say it is always darkest just
before the dawn…
So some day…when the time is right…
Dawn will come.
And life will be light.
But until that day, it is
the lanterns,
the flashlights
the help along the way that really matters.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Without You?
You know...I've seen so many people go on and on about how their blog or whatever simply couldn't go on and couldn't exist without followers/readers/whatever and blah blah blah so thanks for reading and caring and blah blah blah.
Honestly? One: yes, your blog could go on without them. Trust me. Mine does. Although I think I actually have one follower now...But I'm not so sure about him, because he's following like, a million other blogs. Oh well; whatever. Beggars can't be choosers. Two: people who follow you don't actually want to notice that your blog's been updated, just to get excited and then find out that...oh. he's just thanking me for reading. Well, that was a waste of time. Trust me. We've been there. I mean, to sneak in a "Hey, thanks for reading and commenting" once in awhile is fine--great, even, because it means you think about it when you're doing whatever. It's just... I don't know. To me, it seems more meaningful.
But I guess that's my opinion. And I'm only in high school, after all. And since when does anyone really care about what teenagers have to say or think about a subject/topic? Precisely. Which is why I can write this and not really care. Because no one's going to read it and be offended. And if they are? Well... their loss for being so easily offended, I suppose. I'm not trying to be rude or offensive at all. Just speaking an opinion over here. I do still have the right of free speech right? That's what I thought. (I know that I also have to take responsibility for the reaction to my opinions and declarations, because that's the other half of free speech. And I'm good with that. Honest. I'll take the heat for something I believe in.
If you can't stand up for what believe in, then what good are you?
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
Honestly? One: yes, your blog could go on without them. Trust me. Mine does. Although I think I actually have one follower now...But I'm not so sure about him, because he's following like, a million other blogs. Oh well; whatever. Beggars can't be choosers. Two: people who follow you don't actually want to notice that your blog's been updated, just to get excited and then find out that...oh. he's just thanking me for reading. Well, that was a waste of time. Trust me. We've been there. I mean, to sneak in a "Hey, thanks for reading and commenting" once in awhile is fine--great, even, because it means you think about it when you're doing whatever. It's just... I don't know. To me, it seems more meaningful.
But I guess that's my opinion. And I'm only in high school, after all. And since when does anyone really care about what teenagers have to say or think about a subject/topic? Precisely. Which is why I can write this and not really care. Because no one's going to read it and be offended. And if they are? Well... their loss for being so easily offended, I suppose. I'm not trying to be rude or offensive at all. Just speaking an opinion over here. I do still have the right of free speech right? That's what I thought. (I know that I also have to take responsibility for the reaction to my opinions and declarations, because that's the other half of free speech. And I'm good with that. Honest. I'll take the heat for something I believe in.
If you can't stand up for what believe in, then what good are you?
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
Saturday!
It's been a long, lazy day during the course of which I've been called twice to see if I could go work. I said no, actually. I needed to be around just in case someone needed me to bring them somewhere or something. It's harvest; shit needs to get done quickly. It's just how it is.
So there's not a lot to report. I'm now a deviant--in other words, I have an account on www.deviantart.com --and imvu is great for meeting goofballs. (It's a 3D chat game thing...kind of amusing to play with sometimes. Pointless? Oh, but of course.)
Anyway... umm.....I really need to finish reading How I Became Stupid tomorrow. It's due on the 25th and I'd like to have it done before that. I don't have much of it left, though, so it shouldn't take too long. I'm hoping Antoine decides that he was better off being intelligent...just saying.
11:11--make a wish.
Does anyone actually believe that? I don't. My best friend started me on doing that last year, and since then, I do it most of the time if I catch it, but I don't believe it. I'd like to, but nothing ever comes true. So... C'est la vi. Whatever.
Is a wish technically a prayer, just by another name? You're kind of asking for something....to nobody in particular, except...well, God, considering everything is of God. But now we're getting into some heavy theology and I'm not going to make you hate me just yet. Because I have my opinions and nobody I've talked to seems to really like them... Oh well. It's what I believe. I'm not into this whole organized religion thing. It's when it gets organized where corruption comes in. And man, I'm tellin' ya; I've experienced the corruption in church. Trust me.
Anyway...that's a discussion for another time. Definitely not now, or here.
Videos of the week!:
All Time Low--Dear Maria, Count Me In http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcNiKCmWdYE
ATL--Poppin' Champagne http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNX6QeFBEYQ
ATL--Six Feet Under the Stars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDg5xhyS3js
ATL--Weightless http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpG3BxRctQ4
HP Puppet Pals--The Mysterious Ticking Noise http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4
the last because, though I've seen it a million times, it's still fricken hilarious. One year when I went to music camp, a group of kids did that skit for the talent show. I laughed. A lot. It was great. C=
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(no playlist because this computer is being STUPID and won't play my radio station. [pouts])
So there's not a lot to report. I'm now a deviant--in other words, I have an account on www.deviantart.com --and imvu is great for meeting goofballs. (It's a 3D chat game thing...kind of amusing to play with sometimes. Pointless? Oh, but of course.)
Anyway... umm.....I really need to finish reading How I Became Stupid tomorrow. It's due on the 25th and I'd like to have it done before that. I don't have much of it left, though, so it shouldn't take too long. I'm hoping Antoine decides that he was better off being intelligent...just saying.
11:11--make a wish.
Does anyone actually believe that? I don't. My best friend started me on doing that last year, and since then, I do it most of the time if I catch it, but I don't believe it. I'd like to, but nothing ever comes true. So... C'est la vi. Whatever.
Is a wish technically a prayer, just by another name? You're kind of asking for something....to nobody in particular, except...well, God, considering everything is of God. But now we're getting into some heavy theology and I'm not going to make you hate me just yet. Because I have my opinions and nobody I've talked to seems to really like them... Oh well. It's what I believe. I'm not into this whole organized religion thing. It's when it gets organized where corruption comes in. And man, I'm tellin' ya; I've experienced the corruption in church. Trust me.
Anyway...that's a discussion for another time. Definitely not now, or here.
Videos of the week!:
All Time Low--Dear Maria, Count Me In http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcNiKCmWdYE
ATL--Poppin' Champagne http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNX6QeFBEYQ
ATL--Six Feet Under the Stars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDg5xhyS3js
ATL--Weightless http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpG3BxRctQ4
HP Puppet Pals--The Mysterious Ticking Noise http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4
the last because, though I've seen it a million times, it's still fricken hilarious. One year when I went to music camp, a group of kids did that skit for the talent show. I laughed. A lot. It was great. C=
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(no playlist because this computer is being STUPID and won't play my radio station. [pouts])
Friday, September 18, 2009
Whoopsie!
I just realized that I missed yesterday's post as I glanced at the clock and realized I had 36 minutes to write this one. My bad. This hasn't been a great week, has it? haha. Sorry.
So I talk about something I'm writing on Thursdays...
I'm writing this story that I call "A Second Chance (Or Two)" about a girl who lives in Bloomington, Minnesota... but she goes to school in Eden Prairie. (Which I just now decided, but never mind.) Anyway, she's incredibly frustrated with her entire situation, because she doesn't want to still be going to school in Eden Prairie, and she doesn't want to be tutoring someone every single day of the week. When the story picks up, she's getting another student. A "study buddy" of sorts. Because he just doesn't feel like doing his homework. She's pissed, by the way.
So anyway, she's only going to school there for the remainder of the week that this guy gets assigned to her, and then she transfers to Kennedy in Bloomington (which I chose because my best friend just moved there...just saying...). Frank--newest tutor student--isn't terribly pleased, as he was trying his damnedest to make friends with the bitchy girl who wasn't friends with anyone. Only then, her last day, she's nice, and he just really doesn't know how to take it.
The dilemma comes in here: Friday night, Saundra goes home, and she ends up driving Frank to his cousin's, who's actually her next-door-neighbor. Go figure. So anyway, they invite her to this show in this club downtown--that they're not technically supposed to be in--and she goes because, after all, why the hell not?
They keep giving her drinks, so she drinks them, even though she knows better, but she just doesn't care. She ends up bumping into the vocalist for the band she went to see--only she doesn't know it's him because she's kind of drunk--and he takes her home.
THIS is where dilemma comes in: I haven't decided if I'm going to have her feel like a complete retard for going out and partying and then getting together with Damon (vocalist) OR if she decides that it was a shitload of fun and so she starts doing the partying thing.... from there, after about two weeks, she would decide that the whole rebel thing just didn't matter anymore and she wasn't enjoying herself, at which point she seeks the help of Damon, and then they'd get together.
I'm not positive what I'm going to do, but I'm writing both paths at this point. First draft I took the first path; second draft is going to branch. I'm going to write both, but the latter idea in a different place, just to see how things go. If it proves to be too much trouble, I'll stick with idea 1. But if it proves to be more interesting--when I write it--then I'll go with idea 2. We'll see.
I don't really know how to end it. All I know is that there's conflict with Saundra and Damon and Frank in various directions and then Saundra's keeping secrets about her late father... but I've yet to decide what precisely the exact secret(s) is/are. So we'll see.
Eventually, one day, I shall be in print! I swear to it.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
So I talk about something I'm writing on Thursdays...
I'm writing this story that I call "A Second Chance (Or Two)" about a girl who lives in Bloomington, Minnesota... but she goes to school in Eden Prairie. (Which I just now decided, but never mind.) Anyway, she's incredibly frustrated with her entire situation, because she doesn't want to still be going to school in Eden Prairie, and she doesn't want to be tutoring someone every single day of the week. When the story picks up, she's getting another student. A "study buddy" of sorts. Because he just doesn't feel like doing his homework. She's pissed, by the way.
So anyway, she's only going to school there for the remainder of the week that this guy gets assigned to her, and then she transfers to Kennedy in Bloomington (which I chose because my best friend just moved there...just saying...). Frank--newest tutor student--isn't terribly pleased, as he was trying his damnedest to make friends with the bitchy girl who wasn't friends with anyone. Only then, her last day, she's nice, and he just really doesn't know how to take it.
The dilemma comes in here: Friday night, Saundra goes home, and she ends up driving Frank to his cousin's, who's actually her next-door-neighbor. Go figure. So anyway, they invite her to this show in this club downtown--that they're not technically supposed to be in--and she goes because, after all, why the hell not?
They keep giving her drinks, so she drinks them, even though she knows better, but she just doesn't care. She ends up bumping into the vocalist for the band she went to see--only she doesn't know it's him because she's kind of drunk--and he takes her home.
THIS is where dilemma comes in: I haven't decided if I'm going to have her feel like a complete retard for going out and partying and then getting together with Damon (vocalist) OR if she decides that it was a shitload of fun and so she starts doing the partying thing.... from there, after about two weeks, she would decide that the whole rebel thing just didn't matter anymore and she wasn't enjoying herself, at which point she seeks the help of Damon, and then they'd get together.
I'm not positive what I'm going to do, but I'm writing both paths at this point. First draft I took the first path; second draft is going to branch. I'm going to write both, but the latter idea in a different place, just to see how things go. If it proves to be too much trouble, I'll stick with idea 1. But if it proves to be more interesting--when I write it--then I'll go with idea 2. We'll see.
I don't really know how to end it. All I know is that there's conflict with Saundra and Damon and Frank in various directions and then Saundra's keeping secrets about her late father... but I've yet to decide what precisely the exact secret(s) is/are. So we'll see.
Eventually, one day, I shall be in print! I swear to it.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Reading Wednesday
So....I totally missed yesterday. Oops. But I had work til 10 and when I got home, I just really didn't feel like bothering....so sorry. My bad. Oh well, though. You'll go a week without a public figure, won't you? I'm sure you'll make it.
So I'm only going to tell you about "How I Became Stupid" by Martin Page this week, because I told you about the other two I'm reading last week. I could bring in "A Kiss of Life" but I think I'll save it until I'm back into it, okay? Okay.
So...so far, Antoine has decided that intelligence is a disease, and he's very much afflicted. So first he decides he's going to be an alcoholic, only a physiological difficulty makes that impossible. (He got alcohol poisoning after half a glass of beer. Keep in mind this is a book, although I'm sure it's possible.) So then he decides he's going to commit suicide, because he figures he'd much rather be dead than alive...Only he goes to a class on how to do it, and at the conclusion of the class, he decides that, though he's not so enthused about being alive, he doesn't wish to be dead, either...
So finally, he arrives at the conclusion that he wishes to be stupid. Because, quote: "ignorance is bliss." So his doctor (funny story there, actually) gives him a prescription for "Happyzac"--real? fictional?--which is supposed to be some kind of stupidifying anti-depressant. I'm still working on the results with this, but his friends are all concerned for him. I'm not so sure about this guy, myself... But I've only got a few dozen pages left to go--it's a short book--so I'll have it finished by the due date, at least. [= And then I'll have read another book that Harri has, and my life shall be one step closer to complete. Haha, I'm kidding.
But that was awfully short....I'm tempted to bring up A Kiss of Life... perhaps I'll just recommend reading Generation Dead and leave you with that, hm? Interesting book. My friend had a hard time following it, but I didn't. It's pretty intense, though. Good read, however; definitely a good read. I enjoyed it. Thoroughly. I kind of predicted the ending, in a way, but... oh well. You're so wrapped up in what's happening per paragraph you don't have time to sweat predictability--which there isn't much of, really. So yeah.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(No playlist, because I wrote this in bed and in like, 20 minutes tops. So there. Ha.)
So I'm only going to tell you about "How I Became Stupid" by Martin Page this week, because I told you about the other two I'm reading last week. I could bring in "A Kiss of Life" but I think I'll save it until I'm back into it, okay? Okay.
So...so far, Antoine has decided that intelligence is a disease, and he's very much afflicted. So first he decides he's going to be an alcoholic, only a physiological difficulty makes that impossible. (He got alcohol poisoning after half a glass of beer. Keep in mind this is a book, although I'm sure it's possible.) So then he decides he's going to commit suicide, because he figures he'd much rather be dead than alive...Only he goes to a class on how to do it, and at the conclusion of the class, he decides that, though he's not so enthused about being alive, he doesn't wish to be dead, either...
So finally, he arrives at the conclusion that he wishes to be stupid. Because, quote: "ignorance is bliss." So his doctor (funny story there, actually) gives him a prescription for "Happyzac"--real? fictional?--which is supposed to be some kind of stupidifying anti-depressant. I'm still working on the results with this, but his friends are all concerned for him. I'm not so sure about this guy, myself... But I've only got a few dozen pages left to go--it's a short book--so I'll have it finished by the due date, at least. [= And then I'll have read another book that Harri has, and my life shall be one step closer to complete. Haha, I'm kidding.
But that was awfully short....I'm tempted to bring up A Kiss of Life... perhaps I'll just recommend reading Generation Dead and leave you with that, hm? Interesting book. My friend had a hard time following it, but I didn't. It's pretty intense, though. Good read, however; definitely a good read. I enjoyed it. Thoroughly. I kind of predicted the ending, in a way, but... oh well. You're so wrapped up in what's happening per paragraph you don't have time to sweat predictability--which there isn't much of, really. So yeah.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(No playlist, because I wrote this in bed and in like, 20 minutes tops. So there. Ha.)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Music Monday!!
Well, hello again. I realize that it says I've made two posts today, but it was only because I didn't make yesterday's before midnight. Damn. Oh well; now I'm on the other side of my 5 hours of sleep, making it Monday. C= Anyway, on to the discussion of music.
Last week I talked to you about AFI and, if I recall correctly, Blaqk Audio--because they're the same people, after all. So this week, I shall move on to a new obsession: All Time Low
All Time Low started in Baltimore, Maryland in '03, with members Alex Gaskarth (lead vocals/guitar), Jack Barakat (guitar), Rian Dawson (bass), and Zack Merrick (drums). The name of their band came from a line of a New Found Glory song, Head On Collision. (Since I know that song, I can tell you that the line was "And it feels like I'm at an all time low..." and then the song proceeds into the chorus.
The band started out doing covers of other punk bands and then put out their first studio album in '05. The next came out in '07, and their newest, Nothing Personal, just came out this year in '09. I have both Nothing Personal and So Wrong, It's Right, their '07 album. I love them both. I'm so stuck on them both, I even got a bronze listening award from my Zune software..for like, two weeks! Anyway.
I think they're great. Alex has an incredible voice, and the actual music is really, really good. And it's so much fun! When I bought Nothing Personal, I didn't actually know that it was the new one--because I didn't know anything about them, other than that I liked "Remembering Sunday," the song that was on my Take Action Vol. VIII CD--until I got home and looked them up on Myspace to find that their page said it was coming out...in 2 days? So I was confused, but I went with it. So then as soon as I could possibly, I went and bought So Wrong, It's Right, and I'm still after The Party Scene--and whatever else I can find by them.
Anyway. There's so much fan fiction on Quizilla--a website that, for whatever reason, I still use after discovering it in like, 5th grade...--about the members of this band that it's rather ridiculous. I almost said that it was "on the verge of" but no, it's well into the realm of.
So yeah... I've gathered that they attended a Dulaney High School, but that could just be people assuming stuff. I think, though, judging by everything I've found around, that they did. As if it matters, right? I totally hear you.
They were the cover article in one of my APs, though. A full (I think) 4 page article on them. I...think I read it.... I'm pretty sure I did, but that was when I didn't know them and didn't really care. Now that's not the case, so maybe I'll go back and reread it. (I keep all of my Alt. Presses. Because I love them. I'm actually missing at least one. My family didn't give it to me, and then probably threw it away. >=S That makes me unhappy.)
But yeah. Just saying? Gaskarth is really effing hot. And Barakat's pretty cute, too. But Gaskarth is hotter. By far. I was watching ATL videos on YouTube the other day, and practically melting at certain points during the videos when they focused on his face and he got that super cute little grin on his face... [le sigh...] [shakes head] Sorry. Drifting again. Haha. That really has nothing to do with why I like the band, though. Not going to lie, it makes it that much sweeter, but I'd like them regardless. I like BuckCherry and Seether, and Shinedown, and none of them have cute members. It's got nothing to do with anyone. In fact, I find it amusing when girls--or guys, for that matter--like a band because someone in it is hot. That's not liking a band, that's thinking someone's hot. That's so dumb. Like a band for its music; not the physical state of its members. Oh well; whatever. Think what you want; you've already made up your mind, just as I've made up mine.
So with that, my Music Monday spiel on All Time Low is at a close.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
blog playlist (courtesy of www.jango.com --because I used headphones tonight!):
Bulls in Brooklyn--The Academy Is...
This is Who We Are--Cartel
Freak Out--Avril Lavigne (I don't recall the song I'm listening to actually having that name, but okay...)
Hello Seattle--Owl City
All You Wanted--Michelle Branch (I love this song; I'm fighting the desire to sing along with it....it's hard.)
Play Dead--HIM
Love with a Motive--The Audition
The Best--Cartel
Be My Escape [Acoustic]--Reliant K
Last week I talked to you about AFI and, if I recall correctly, Blaqk Audio--because they're the same people, after all. So this week, I shall move on to a new obsession: All Time Low
The band started out doing covers of other punk bands and then put out their first studio album in '05. The next came out in '07, and their newest, Nothing Personal, just came out this year in '09. I have both Nothing Personal and So Wrong, It's Right, their '07 album. I love them both. I'm so stuck on them both, I even got a bronze listening award from my Zune software..for like, two weeks! Anyway.
I think they're great. Alex has an incredible voice, and the actual music is really, really good. And it's so much fun! When I bought Nothing Personal, I didn't actually know that it was the new one--because I didn't know anything about them, other than that I liked "Remembering Sunday," the song that was on my Take Action Vol. VIII CD--until I got home and looked them up on Myspace to find that their page said it was coming out...in 2 days? So I was confused, but I went with it. So then as soon as I could possibly, I went and bought So Wrong, It's Right, and I'm still after The Party Scene--and whatever else I can find by them.
Anyway. There's so much fan fiction on Quizilla--a website that, for whatever reason, I still use after discovering it in like, 5th grade...--about the members of this band that it's rather ridiculous. I almost said that it was "on the verge of" but no, it's well into the realm of.
So yeah... I've gathered that they attended a Dulaney High School, but that could just be people assuming stuff. I think, though, judging by everything I've found around, that they did. As if it matters, right? I totally hear you.
They were the cover article in one of my APs, though. A full (I think) 4 page article on them. I...think I read it.... I'm pretty sure I did, but that was when I didn't know them and didn't really care. Now that's not the case, so maybe I'll go back and reread it. (I keep all of my Alt. Presses. Because I love them. I'm actually missing at least one. My family didn't give it to me, and then probably threw it away. >=S That makes me unhappy.)
But yeah. Just saying? Gaskarth is really effing hot. And Barakat's pretty cute, too. But Gaskarth is hotter. By far. I was watching ATL videos on YouTube the other day, and practically melting at certain points during the videos when they focused on his face and he got that super cute little grin on his face... [le sigh...] [shakes head] Sorry. Drifting again. Haha. That really has nothing to do with why I like the band, though. Not going to lie, it makes it that much sweeter, but I'd like them regardless. I like BuckCherry and Seether, and Shinedown, and none of them have cute members. It's got nothing to do with anyone. In fact, I find it amusing when girls--or guys, for that matter--like a band because someone in it is hot. That's not liking a band, that's thinking someone's hot. That's so dumb. Like a band for its music; not the physical state of its members. Oh well; whatever. Think what you want; you've already made up your mind, just as I've made up mine.
So with that, my Music Monday spiel on All Time Low is at a close.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
blog playlist (courtesy of www.jango.com --because I used headphones tonight!):
Bulls in Brooklyn--The Academy Is...
This is Who We Are--Cartel
Freak Out--Avril Lavigne (I don't recall the song I'm listening to actually having that name, but okay...)
Hello Seattle--Owl City
All You Wanted--Michelle Branch (I love this song; I'm fighting the desire to sing along with it....it's hard.)
Play Dead--HIM
Love with a Motive--The Audition
The Best--Cartel
Be My Escape [Acoustic]--Reliant K
Dammit! I Missed Sunday!
Okay, so I had work until 11, and I didn't get home until about half an hour ago, and then I had to shower and stuff, so it's now technically Monday as I'm writing Sunday's post. This one will be short, though, because I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning, and less than 6 hours of sleep is always a pain in the ass.
Work was just fine. My manager poked fun at me for something that happened 2 weeks ago and caused major drama... but never mind. I might tell you later sometime. We'll see. This guy that I work with, Cody, is a huge goofball. I don't know about him...
But he's taking the train back to Washington in the morning because his sister got hit by a car--drunk driver--like, a week or two ago, and she just died apparently. So he's going back for her funeral, and I guess his dad is AWOL. They can't find him. Nobody's seen him since he got the news, I guess, so....who knows? I feel kind of bad for the guy, though. He hasn't had it easy ever in his life...
Anyway, so I get off of work at just after 11, right? And I walk out with my boombox in tow, and past this white pickup with these two guys in it, and the guy in the passenger seat is staring at me. And I wasn't even singing (as per usual) or anything! So I looked at him, and then turned forward again, but I could tell in my peripheral vision that he was still watching me, right?
So I get into my car, and I was getting situated and everything, and the guy in the passenger seat fricken gets out and starts walking toward my car!! I was like, uh oh... I rolled down my window partway, prepared to be hit on--what the hell else would happen?--and he grabs a hold of my car door around the window, leans toward the window, almost until he's leaning into the car, and says, "So we were wondering if you knew of any parties going on tonight?" And I'm thinking, dude, are you serious?
So I told him: "No. The only people I know of that would be partying aren't because there's school in the morning.........But there are a handful of bars in town; you could go there."
And he's giving me this look, like...you know the look that guys get when they're thinking about what they'd do to you if they could just get you drunk enough to say yes? Well, the look he was giving me was damn similar...scarily similar, actually. Anyway. So he shifts on his feet and gets closer, and he's like, "So what are you doing tonight?"
Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm thinking, right? And all I can focus on are his quarter inch, maybe three-eighths inch gauges and my immediate withdrawal, because I'm leaning as far away from teh guy as I can without being conspicuous about it and all. He wasn't really even that cute...just saying. So anyway, I told him I'm going home. And he repeated me incredulously, like he couldn't believe I would shoot down that obvious invitation--but I have SCHOOL in the morning! Hello!!--and nodded and then finally walked away.
So I started Coming Undone by Korn blasting out of my car speakers with the window down on my way out of the parking lot. He stared at me again. Go figure. (That was actually kind of the point, that time.)
I suppose realistically it wasn't much of a big deal at all, but it was by far the most interesting event of the weekend. And he wasn't even drunk!! Sad, isn't it? Oi. What's that say about my weekend that that was the most interesting event? Ah well; so it goes. Maybe next weekend shall be better.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(No playlist, because I'm supposed to be sleeping...)
Work was just fine. My manager poked fun at me for something that happened 2 weeks ago and caused major drama... but never mind. I might tell you later sometime. We'll see. This guy that I work with, Cody, is a huge goofball. I don't know about him...
But he's taking the train back to Washington in the morning because his sister got hit by a car--drunk driver--like, a week or two ago, and she just died apparently. So he's going back for her funeral, and I guess his dad is AWOL. They can't find him. Nobody's seen him since he got the news, I guess, so....who knows? I feel kind of bad for the guy, though. He hasn't had it easy ever in his life...
Anyway, so I get off of work at just after 11, right? And I walk out with my boombox in tow, and past this white pickup with these two guys in it, and the guy in the passenger seat is staring at me. And I wasn't even singing (as per usual) or anything! So I looked at him, and then turned forward again, but I could tell in my peripheral vision that he was still watching me, right?
So I get into my car, and I was getting situated and everything, and the guy in the passenger seat fricken gets out and starts walking toward my car!! I was like, uh oh... I rolled down my window partway, prepared to be hit on--what the hell else would happen?--and he grabs a hold of my car door around the window, leans toward the window, almost until he's leaning into the car, and says, "So we were wondering if you knew of any parties going on tonight?" And I'm thinking, dude, are you serious?
So I told him: "No. The only people I know of that would be partying aren't because there's school in the morning.........But there are a handful of bars in town; you could go there."
And he's giving me this look, like...you know the look that guys get when they're thinking about what they'd do to you if they could just get you drunk enough to say yes? Well, the look he was giving me was damn similar...scarily similar, actually. Anyway. So he shifts on his feet and gets closer, and he's like, "So what are you doing tonight?"
Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm thinking, right? And all I can focus on are his quarter inch, maybe three-eighths inch gauges and my immediate withdrawal, because I'm leaning as far away from teh guy as I can without being conspicuous about it and all. He wasn't really even that cute...just saying. So anyway, I told him I'm going home. And he repeated me incredulously, like he couldn't believe I would shoot down that obvious invitation--but I have SCHOOL in the morning! Hello!!--and nodded and then finally walked away.
So I started Coming Undone by Korn blasting out of my car speakers with the window down on my way out of the parking lot. He stared at me again. Go figure. (That was actually kind of the point, that time.)
I suppose realistically it wasn't much of a big deal at all, but it was by far the most interesting event of the weekend. And he wasn't even drunk!! Sad, isn't it? Oi. What's that say about my weekend that that was the most interesting event? Ah well; so it goes. Maybe next weekend shall be better.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
(No playlist, because I'm supposed to be sleeping...)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Better Now
Okay, so um....I'm sorry about last night's post. I'm okay now. I was just having a moment, as teenagers do. I've been frustrated/stressed lately, and I explained what pricked my bubble, and I just popped. It all just came out. Well, most of it came out, but I'm not going to go back to add more. I don't feel like complaining at present.
So I'm hoping that, since it rained all day yesterday and I'm positive it's too wet to combine, we can go to Minot to get my little brother, Matthew, a haircut... And I want one, too. I'm sick of what I've got. I knew what I wanted, and the hairstylist decided that I didn't really and cut it her way. It was okay for a little while, but now I'm just sick of it. I can never make my hair do the shit that the salons do. It's frustrating. But I think I know what I want right now, so I'll go in with a definite picture in my head, tell her what I want, and just get it. She won't change my mind.
I learned a few weeks ago that people have like, a hairstylist that they go to. I was reading something on Twitter, and Cassadee Pope (Hey Monday vocalist) said she cheated on her hair stylist.... and I thought, wait, what? Because I don't have one. I get my hair cut by somebody different every time. I've gotten my hair cut in three different places, even.
Oops?
Whatever. I've never gotten a truly fabulous haircut, anyway. Well, okay, that's not quite true, because the one I got when I cut it way short--the first time--was good. I liked it a lot. Since then? I'm lucky if I like it for longer than a couple weeks. Not fair.
Oh well. It's not like it really matters. Hardly anyone pays any attention whatsoever regardless. I'm thinking about buying a straightener--er, flat-iron. Not because I need it or anything, really--because my hair's naturally really straight--but for styling purposes. Because you can curl with them, too, I guess. I'd just need help once or twice...maybe, on the Fargo honor choir trip, I'll ask Anika for help. (She's a girl in my class, and definitely my favorite.) Who knows?
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
So I'm hoping that, since it rained all day yesterday and I'm positive it's too wet to combine, we can go to Minot to get my little brother, Matthew, a haircut... And I want one, too. I'm sick of what I've got. I knew what I wanted, and the hairstylist decided that I didn't really and cut it her way. It was okay for a little while, but now I'm just sick of it. I can never make my hair do the shit that the salons do. It's frustrating. But I think I know what I want right now, so I'll go in with a definite picture in my head, tell her what I want, and just get it. She won't change my mind.
I learned a few weeks ago that people have like, a hairstylist that they go to. I was reading something on Twitter, and Cassadee Pope (Hey Monday vocalist) said she cheated on her hair stylist.... and I thought, wait, what? Because I don't have one. I get my hair cut by somebody different every time. I've gotten my hair cut in three different places, even.
Oops?
Whatever. I've never gotten a truly fabulous haircut, anyway. Well, okay, that's not quite true, because the one I got when I cut it way short--the first time--was good. I liked it a lot. Since then? I'm lucky if I like it for longer than a couple weeks. Not fair.
Oh well. It's not like it really matters. Hardly anyone pays any attention whatsoever regardless. I'm thinking about buying a straightener--er, flat-iron. Not because I need it or anything, really--because my hair's naturally really straight--but for styling purposes. Because you can curl with them, too, I guess. I'd just need help once or twice...maybe, on the Fargo honor choir trip, I'll ask Anika for help. (She's a girl in my class, and definitely my favorite.) Who knows?
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
Friday, September 11, 2009
Teenager Moment; Sorry
I'm 16. How many times have I said that? I don't know, but you should've gotten the idea by now. And I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say but I just fucking hate everything right now. I'm having a moment. Earlier tonight, my mom reminded me of my dysfunctional "love" life--of how EVERYONE I've tried to like a little has been a complete fucking disaster. Not in those words, nor quite so harshly, and when we were talking about it with my grandma--her mom--I was even joking about it. But Goddamnit, it hurts, okay? I really hate doing this because it shows up at the top of my page and instead of cute randomness you get teenage insecurity moment, but fuck it all, I need to say something.
I'm a nonconformist, and yes, I know that everyone fucking says that, but I actually am. The people that shop at Hot Topic and all wear the same pants and the same shirts and the same belts are just conformists of a different nature, wearing the same haircut in the same dye-job, different variations. Same piercings, same music, same everything. They're just not the bright, Aero-style conformists. They're Hot Topic conformists. I used to try to be one of them, but I've never made it. I can't just be one thing or another. I'm several things. I wear band shirts one day and super cute blouses the next. I wear black eye-makeup one day and pastel the next. I don't care! I just do whatever the hell floats my boat. I don't fit anywhere, into anything.
The people in the scene I try so hard to fall into don't like me because I'm not able to fit into the perfect mold of the "scene." (Can you say conformism?) I'm apparently super fucking boring, too, because I apparently just can't carry on a conversation or something. I don't know. But nobody's ever interested. My mom's pretty sure the guy that took me to prom is, but he's said several times, in not so many words, that we're just friends. And since he insisted, we are. I liked him to begin with, but not anymore. Actually, not since prom... *shakes head* I just...
Is it wrong to have high standards? To be picky? Am I being too fricken picky? I don't fricken know. I really don't. Some class and some decorum and some tact are apparently hard to come by, these days. All I want is... shit. I just want someone.
But even though I say that, I know I don't want just anyone. I can't take just anyone! I tried lowering my standards, at least once, but... it didn't work. At all. I can't be happy with...less than enough. I just can't make myself settle, not even when it comes to dating. I can't.
I'm just so sick of my life right now. I'm so sick of everything, and everyone. I'm sick of my job, of my school, my classmates, my classes that are so easy and tedious I just... I don't want to anymore. I need to reach out, to do something, to be something more.
Because right now? The weird, bookworm writer chick just doesn't cut it. For me, or for anyone else. I'm so lost in my world... Everyone's always like, just wait till college and it'll get better. I don't want to fucking wait until college. I have two fucking years until college. You go two years with nothing and tell me you're okay with that because something down the road ought to be better. It should be. But who's to know? I'm not okay with just wondering. I'm not okay with it at all.
I don't want somebody to try to push me away to make me try to get closer. When I get pushed away, I just go away. And I don't come back. The kids I go to school with only barely tolerate me; I'm pretty sure only a very, very small fraction of them actually like me. It's glaringly obvious--at least to me--when they want me to just fricken go away, so I do. I've gotten used to it. So when I get the vibe that you don't want to talk to me, or to be around me, I just go away. It's how I am. I don't fight to stick around and change your opinion. If you want to talk to me, you will. I'm not interested in fighting for your attention with the girls that are far prettier and more interesting than I, because it's a losing battle and it's....far from rewarding. It's just...
Will I ever be good enough? All I want to do is cry, because that's all I've got left to me right now. My mom doesn't know that I'm hurt, she doesn't know I'm mad, she doesn't...get that it's a really sore spot for me. My brother doesn't either, and he pokes it all the time, like he thinks it's funny or something. I just... I can't take it. It's not my fault I'm not as cute as he might be, or that I'm not...whatever the fuck it is that he is to get girls to like him. I don't have that. I don't have it at all. Guys just want to be my friend. Not my boyfriend. And that's hard. I don't always want to just be a friend. I don't always want to hear about your dating problems. I don't want to hear about what went wrong, because you need advice for the next one. I don't want to give that advice all the time. Is it so much to ask? Apparently, it is.
Usually, I'm not like this. Usually, I'm happy and bouncy and whatever. But I've been stressed lately, and that's partly why. I miss my best friend, and I want a life. But I'm still 2 to my parents, so...good luck to me with that.
Sorry about the pity party. I just needed to vent, and since nobody ever reads what I write anyway, I figure I'm probably safe to say it.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
I'm a nonconformist, and yes, I know that everyone fucking says that, but I actually am. The people that shop at Hot Topic and all wear the same pants and the same shirts and the same belts are just conformists of a different nature, wearing the same haircut in the same dye-job, different variations. Same piercings, same music, same everything. They're just not the bright, Aero-style conformists. They're Hot Topic conformists. I used to try to be one of them, but I've never made it. I can't just be one thing or another. I'm several things. I wear band shirts one day and super cute blouses the next. I wear black eye-makeup one day and pastel the next. I don't care! I just do whatever the hell floats my boat. I don't fit anywhere, into anything.
The people in the scene I try so hard to fall into don't like me because I'm not able to fit into the perfect mold of the "scene." (Can you say conformism?) I'm apparently super fucking boring, too, because I apparently just can't carry on a conversation or something. I don't know. But nobody's ever interested. My mom's pretty sure the guy that took me to prom is, but he's said several times, in not so many words, that we're just friends. And since he insisted, we are. I liked him to begin with, but not anymore. Actually, not since prom... *shakes head* I just...
Is it wrong to have high standards? To be picky? Am I being too fricken picky? I don't fricken know. I really don't. Some class and some decorum and some tact are apparently hard to come by, these days. All I want is... shit. I just want someone.
But even though I say that, I know I don't want just anyone. I can't take just anyone! I tried lowering my standards, at least once, but... it didn't work. At all. I can't be happy with...less than enough. I just can't make myself settle, not even when it comes to dating. I can't.
I'm just so sick of my life right now. I'm so sick of everything, and everyone. I'm sick of my job, of my school, my classmates, my classes that are so easy and tedious I just... I don't want to anymore. I need to reach out, to do something, to be something more.
Because right now? The weird, bookworm writer chick just doesn't cut it. For me, or for anyone else. I'm so lost in my world... Everyone's always like, just wait till college and it'll get better. I don't want to fucking wait until college. I have two fucking years until college. You go two years with nothing and tell me you're okay with that because something down the road ought to be better. It should be. But who's to know? I'm not okay with just wondering. I'm not okay with it at all.
I don't want somebody to try to push me away to make me try to get closer. When I get pushed away, I just go away. And I don't come back. The kids I go to school with only barely tolerate me; I'm pretty sure only a very, very small fraction of them actually like me. It's glaringly obvious--at least to me--when they want me to just fricken go away, so I do. I've gotten used to it. So when I get the vibe that you don't want to talk to me, or to be around me, I just go away. It's how I am. I don't fight to stick around and change your opinion. If you want to talk to me, you will. I'm not interested in fighting for your attention with the girls that are far prettier and more interesting than I, because it's a losing battle and it's....far from rewarding. It's just...
Will I ever be good enough? All I want to do is cry, because that's all I've got left to me right now. My mom doesn't know that I'm hurt, she doesn't know I'm mad, she doesn't...get that it's a really sore spot for me. My brother doesn't either, and he pokes it all the time, like he thinks it's funny or something. I just... I can't take it. It's not my fault I'm not as cute as he might be, or that I'm not...whatever the fuck it is that he is to get girls to like him. I don't have that. I don't have it at all. Guys just want to be my friend. Not my boyfriend. And that's hard. I don't always want to just be a friend. I don't always want to hear about your dating problems. I don't want to hear about what went wrong, because you need advice for the next one. I don't want to give that advice all the time. Is it so much to ask? Apparently, it is.
Usually, I'm not like this. Usually, I'm happy and bouncy and whatever. But I've been stressed lately, and that's partly why. I miss my best friend, and I want a life. But I'm still 2 to my parents, so...good luck to me with that.
Sorry about the pity party. I just needed to vent, and since nobody ever reads what I write anyway, I figure I'm probably safe to say it.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~xoxo~
Thursday, September 10, 2009
BABY!! I have pictures. [= <3
This is my truly adorable, sweetie-pie of a baby cousin, Alex Joseph Mell. I love him so much. =} I just thought I'd share with you.
Taste-Test Thursday...Oh, Wait...
Ah, the lovely subject of food! I love food. Food and I are quite good friends, as a matter of fact. (Perhaps too good, if I'm wholly honest...)
My best friend just mailed me a letter, in which she had a pretty good food story. Well, it was amusing, at any rate. So they just moved into this apartment in Bloomington, right? And the last tenents weren't very tidy--we'll put it that way--so they bought stuff and cleaned the counters and stuff, right? Well, then it was late and they were hungry. So her mom went to get food and she stayed at the apartment, and by the time her mom got back, it was really late, so they only ate the cheese and crackers. So then her mom says: "Does something taste like soap?" I forgot what she said but basically she was too tired to notice or care. Her mom taste tested the cheese, and then the crackers...it was the crackers.
The crackers had absorbed the soap off of the counter from when they cleaned it--because she apparently forgot to get the natural cleaner or something--and so the crackers tasted like soap. Consequently, Tara had a tummy-ache for a little while the next day. Oops.
Anyway, I'm thinking I'm going to change my mind about Taste-Test Thursday. I can't talk about food that much...unless I shared a recipe with you once a week...but what am I? Rachael Ray? Psh, no. Screw that.
ATTENTION: Taste-Test Thursday is now obsolete! Thursdays are now dedicated to... umm....umm... writing? Sure. I'll talk about one story that I'm writing a week. We'll need to come up with a new name then, but this will work.
I'll start with "The Last Fortnight." It's one I've been working on for quite a long time, just not....very actively. Actually, it's been really inactive most of the time. But I'm thinking about it right now because I want to write more in it. It's about this girl who, at barely 18, leaves home (without verbally telling her dad or step-mom, but leaving a few different notes around) with intentions of getting the hell out. She ends up with a band, The Last Fortnight, on their tour across the country, ending up being their interim manager while their regular manager is at home to take care of his kid--I don't remember the specific reason, but it was not good, anyway--and then later becomes their keyboardist. Camden (as she's chosen to go by, ditching her real name for an alias) was already a really good musician; she wrote songs on a dime and just improved on the piano when she was bored. This really impressed them, and thus they pressured her into it, and it ended up being the best thing she could've ever done.
At the same time as all of this, Camden's best friend, Quinn--whom she left behind when she took off--met another band called Death Certificate (although that's liable to change...) and goes on tour with them, because the vocalist's fiancee and guitarist ask her to. They're a Christian band, and so bus dynamics are a little bit different, and religion comes into play a bit, but it's not obnoxious. (Don't worry; I find pushy religious people annoying as hell. I've found God; I don't need Him shoved in my face, thanks.) About halfway through their tour, she gets engaged to the guitarist, and I'm thinking that I might have her and the vocalist have a double wedding....but I've never seen how that works, so I probably won't... But it's a thought, anyway.
Toward the end, Camden does go back home, and she talks to her dad--and to be honest, I'm not positive how that exchange is going to go, because she and her step-mom hate each other--and meet up with Quinn, because she'd gotten a new cell phone halfway through the tour and gotten in contact with her. But yeah... I'm still on the rocks about a lot of plot elements in this one, so...we'll see what happens. [=
So that wraps up "Taste-Test Thursday" and the new "Storytime Thursday." Shit, I'm not fricken calling it that. How retarded? Whatever. I'll have a title by next week; promise.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
Playlist created midway through post, provided by personal library and www.purevolume.com:
A Letter from Janelle [Acoustic]--Chiodos
Smooth [Cover]--Escape the Fate
6 Months--Hey Monday
Best Friends Can Last Forever--Tara Marmon
Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal--All Time Low
Step Right Up--The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Emotion--Breathe Electric
What Would You Say? [ft. Tim Higginson]--Breathe Electric
Think Of You Later (Empty Room)--Every Avenue
A Beautiful Goodbye--Watchout! There's Ghosts
My best friend just mailed me a letter, in which she had a pretty good food story. Well, it was amusing, at any rate. So they just moved into this apartment in Bloomington, right? And the last tenents weren't very tidy--we'll put it that way--so they bought stuff and cleaned the counters and stuff, right? Well, then it was late and they were hungry. So her mom went to get food and she stayed at the apartment, and by the time her mom got back, it was really late, so they only ate the cheese and crackers. So then her mom says: "Does something taste like soap?" I forgot what she said but basically she was too tired to notice or care. Her mom taste tested the cheese, and then the crackers...it was the crackers.
The crackers had absorbed the soap off of the counter from when they cleaned it--because she apparently forgot to get the natural cleaner or something--and so the crackers tasted like soap. Consequently, Tara had a tummy-ache for a little while the next day. Oops.
Anyway, I'm thinking I'm going to change my mind about Taste-Test Thursday. I can't talk about food that much...unless I shared a recipe with you once a week...but what am I? Rachael Ray? Psh, no. Screw that.
ATTENTION: Taste-Test Thursday is now obsolete! Thursdays are now dedicated to... umm....umm... writing? Sure. I'll talk about one story that I'm writing a week. We'll need to come up with a new name then, but this will work.
I'll start with "The Last Fortnight." It's one I've been working on for quite a long time, just not....very actively. Actually, it's been really inactive most of the time. But I'm thinking about it right now because I want to write more in it. It's about this girl who, at barely 18, leaves home (without verbally telling her dad or step-mom, but leaving a few different notes around) with intentions of getting the hell out. She ends up with a band, The Last Fortnight, on their tour across the country, ending up being their interim manager while their regular manager is at home to take care of his kid--I don't remember the specific reason, but it was not good, anyway--and then later becomes their keyboardist. Camden (as she's chosen to go by, ditching her real name for an alias) was already a really good musician; she wrote songs on a dime and just improved on the piano when she was bored. This really impressed them, and thus they pressured her into it, and it ended up being the best thing she could've ever done.
At the same time as all of this, Camden's best friend, Quinn--whom she left behind when she took off--met another band called Death Certificate (although that's liable to change...) and goes on tour with them, because the vocalist's fiancee and guitarist ask her to. They're a Christian band, and so bus dynamics are a little bit different, and religion comes into play a bit, but it's not obnoxious. (Don't worry; I find pushy religious people annoying as hell. I've found God; I don't need Him shoved in my face, thanks.) About halfway through their tour, she gets engaged to the guitarist, and I'm thinking that I might have her and the vocalist have a double wedding....but I've never seen how that works, so I probably won't... But it's a thought, anyway.
Toward the end, Camden does go back home, and she talks to her dad--and to be honest, I'm not positive how that exchange is going to go, because she and her step-mom hate each other--and meet up with Quinn, because she'd gotten a new cell phone halfway through the tour and gotten in contact with her. But yeah... I'm still on the rocks about a lot of plot elements in this one, so...we'll see what happens. [=
So that wraps up "Taste-Test Thursday" and the new "Storytime Thursday." Shit, I'm not fricken calling it that. How retarded? Whatever. I'll have a title by next week; promise.
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
Playlist created midway through post, provided by personal library and www.purevolume.com:
A Letter from Janelle [Acoustic]--Chiodos
Smooth [Cover]--Escape the Fate
6 Months--Hey Monday
Best Friends Can Last Forever--Tara Marmon
Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal--All Time Low
Step Right Up--The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Emotion--Breathe Electric
What Would You Say? [ft. Tim Higginson]--Breathe Electric
Think Of You Later (Empty Room)--Every Avenue
A Beautiful Goodbye--Watchout! There's Ghosts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Novel Wednesdays!
Yay! It's time to talk about books. Always a topic I thoroughly enjoy. Haha, it happens when you're a bookworm. C=
So anyway. At present, I'm reading three different books. Well, two, and I just started one.
I'll start with the one that I'm reading most often--e.g. the one I pick up more times than the other(s): Mistral's Kiss--Laurell K. Hamilton
Preceded by A Kiss of Shadows, A Caress of Twilight, and Seduced by Moonlight,it's a continuation of a quite impressive--and intriguing--story line that I haven't been able to stray away from. I won't deny that they're graphic...in both senses of the term used here. There is a lot of violence in these books--about as much as there is sex. Oh, dude, there's so much sex in these books it's pretty much like porno in print! But at least it's good sex. Hah, I know, I shouldn't really be saying that, but come on. The series is about the princess of the Unseelie Court of Faerie, Meredith NicEssus--who goes by the alias "Gentry" when she's hiding from the court in Los Angeles--in a race to get pregnant with her cousin Cel--who's trying to impregnate one of his harem--to take the throne from her aunt (and his mother) Queen Andais. Each book is riddled with assassination attempts on Meredith and her men, along with torture and battle and magic duels, et cetera. Steadily, the Unseelie Court is regaining the power that it lost over the years--from various causes, including moving from Europe to America--and so are the members of the royal guard, now Meredith's, rather than the Queen's....and it's because Merry is having sex with them. Well, sometimes; sometimes if they're just around when she's having sex, then shit happens, but now we're back to sex, and I'm avoiding that bit. ASIDE from the sex, Laurell (the author) is a brilliant wordsmith and artist. She paints the most beautiful--or macabre--and vivid pictures with her words, it's just incredible. I can see everything she describes in perfect clarity in my mind, and that's part of the reason why I love her so.
Not really a book I'd suggest to the weak of heart....or those who can't handle reading sex...and really macabre torture and such... yeah.
Book 2: Deathwish: Rob Thurman
Preceded by Nightwish, Moonshine, and Madhouse, this book concludes the Cal Leandros series in ever-more hilarious tension, sarcastic comments, and unbeatable action. (By the way, these really are my words coming out here. I could write reviews for stuff, no problem, haha.) I love this guy, partly because his writing style is like mine on a really good day--only all the time--and his sense of humor is nigh identical to mine. That, and I actually happen to find men's habits and thought processes and reasoning amusing. Don't ask me why, I don't really know, but I'm sure it stems of the fact that I'm a girl. Haha. Anyway. The books contain great characters, thoroughly developed, but with things that you either like being left ambiguous, or wish they weren't. I haven't finished it, though, so there may be a few more things discussed. I'm hoping on a couple of things. [= Anyway. The series is about Cal and his brother Niko living in New York and fighting monsters, meanwhile trying to evade and kill off the nastiest monster of them all: the Auphe. They're like elves, but the nastiest, most terrifying elves you could ever in your darkest nightmares come up with...so far as I can tell. The description of them isn't so terrible, but if you let your imagination run wild--as I so often do--they get pretty ugly. Anyway. It's a really good series, and one that I totally would recommend to about anybody. They're just great. [=
And I just started this book called "How I Became Stupid" but I don't remember the title because I just got it from the library today. I picked it up on a reccomendation of a friend of mine from Fargo, the ever-amazing Harri Boyd. That kid's just great. I love him. He's one of the best writers I know, and I aspire to be as good as he is. He doesn't read a lot of books, and he's got the same reason as I do, only he freely admits to being kind of conceited about his writing talent--which he kind of has right to be, but he knows that he still needs critique, which is the important thing--so he hardly ever finishes books. Fat Kid Rules the World--another book I forgot the author of--was one that he finished, and I read, and thoroughly enjoyed. Hawksong--no author again, sorry; too lazy to go look--was another, but someone stole it from the school library, so I haven't read it. But my best friend Tara read it several times and loved it, so... I'm going to say it was probably a pretty good book. I'll get around to it later, perhaps. We'll see.
Well, that concludes my reading material discussion for the week. Next Wednesday, I might let you know about How I Became Stupid. Or I might talk about something else. Who knows? It's all fair game in the big wide world of Emily's Bookshelf.
Ha ha
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
Blog tracklist (courtesy of www.jango.com and my own library):
TiK ToK--Ke$ha
Rock is Dead--Marilyn Manson
Say Anything (Else)--Cartel
On and On (About You)--Bowling for Soup
Don't Count on Me--The Secret Handshake
Heart Surgery Isn't That Bad--Jeffree Star
One Thing is For Sure--The Spill Canvas
Gunslinger--Avenged Sevenfold
In Fate's Hands--The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Now or Never--Madina Lake
Do It For Me Now--Angels and Airwaves
Sleeping with Giants (Lifetime)--The Academy Is...
Breathe Today--Flyleaf
Boyfriend--Ashlee Simpson (I normally wouldn't admit her, but I like this song.)
Homecoming--Hey Monday
So anyway. At present, I'm reading three different books. Well, two, and I just started one.
I'll start with the one that I'm reading most often--e.g. the one I pick up more times than the other(s): Mistral's Kiss--Laurell K. Hamilton
Preceded by A Kiss of Shadows, A Caress of Twilight, and Seduced by Moonlight,it's a continuation of a quite impressive--and intriguing--story line that I haven't been able to stray away from. I won't deny that they're graphic...in both senses of the term used here. There is a lot of violence in these books--about as much as there is sex. Oh, dude, there's so much sex in these books it's pretty much like porno in print! But at least it's good sex. Hah, I know, I shouldn't really be saying that, but come on. The series is about the princess of the Unseelie Court of Faerie, Meredith NicEssus--who goes by the alias "Gentry" when she's hiding from the court in Los Angeles--in a race to get pregnant with her cousin Cel--who's trying to impregnate one of his harem--to take the throne from her aunt (and his mother) Queen Andais. Each book is riddled with assassination attempts on Meredith and her men, along with torture and battle and magic duels, et cetera. Steadily, the Unseelie Court is regaining the power that it lost over the years--from various causes, including moving from Europe to America--and so are the members of the royal guard, now Meredith's, rather than the Queen's....and it's because Merry is having sex with them. Well, sometimes; sometimes if they're just around when she's having sex, then shit happens, but now we're back to sex, and I'm avoiding that bit. ASIDE from the sex, Laurell (the author) is a brilliant wordsmith and artist. She paints the most beautiful--or macabre--and vivid pictures with her words, it's just incredible. I can see everything she describes in perfect clarity in my mind, and that's part of the reason why I love her so.
Not really a book I'd suggest to the weak of heart....or those who can't handle reading sex...and really macabre torture and such... yeah.
Book 2: Deathwish: Rob Thurman
Preceded by Nightwish, Moonshine, and Madhouse, this book concludes the Cal Leandros series in ever-more hilarious tension, sarcastic comments, and unbeatable action. (By the way, these really are my words coming out here. I could write reviews for stuff, no problem, haha.) I love this guy, partly because his writing style is like mine on a really good day--only all the time--and his sense of humor is nigh identical to mine. That, and I actually happen to find men's habits and thought processes and reasoning amusing. Don't ask me why, I don't really know, but I'm sure it stems of the fact that I'm a girl. Haha. Anyway. The books contain great characters, thoroughly developed, but with things that you either like being left ambiguous, or wish they weren't. I haven't finished it, though, so there may be a few more things discussed. I'm hoping on a couple of things. [= Anyway. The series is about Cal and his brother Niko living in New York and fighting monsters, meanwhile trying to evade and kill off the nastiest monster of them all: the Auphe. They're like elves, but the nastiest, most terrifying elves you could ever in your darkest nightmares come up with...so far as I can tell. The description of them isn't so terrible, but if you let your imagination run wild--as I so often do--they get pretty ugly. Anyway. It's a really good series, and one that I totally would recommend to about anybody. They're just great. [=
And I just started this book called "How I Became Stupid" but I don't remember the title because I just got it from the library today. I picked it up on a reccomendation of a friend of mine from Fargo, the ever-amazing Harri Boyd. That kid's just great. I love him. He's one of the best writers I know, and I aspire to be as good as he is. He doesn't read a lot of books, and he's got the same reason as I do, only he freely admits to being kind of conceited about his writing talent--which he kind of has right to be, but he knows that he still needs critique, which is the important thing--so he hardly ever finishes books. Fat Kid Rules the World--another book I forgot the author of--was one that he finished, and I read, and thoroughly enjoyed. Hawksong--no author again, sorry; too lazy to go look--was another, but someone stole it from the school library, so I haven't read it. But my best friend Tara read it several times and loved it, so... I'm going to say it was probably a pretty good book. I'll get around to it later, perhaps. We'll see.
Well, that concludes my reading material discussion for the week. Next Wednesday, I might let you know about How I Became Stupid. Or I might talk about something else. Who knows? It's all fair game in the big wide world of Emily's Bookshelf.
Ha ha
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
Blog tracklist (courtesy of www.jango.com and my own library):
TiK ToK--Ke$ha
Rock is Dead--Marilyn Manson
Say Anything (Else)--Cartel
On and On (About You)--Bowling for Soup
Don't Count on Me--The Secret Handshake
Heart Surgery Isn't That Bad--Jeffree Star
One Thing is For Sure--The Spill Canvas
Gunslinger--Avenged Sevenfold
In Fate's Hands--The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Now or Never--Madina Lake
Do It For Me Now--Angels and Airwaves
Sleeping with Giants (Lifetime)--The Academy Is...
Breathe Today--Flyleaf
Boyfriend--Ashlee Simpson (I normally wouldn't admit her, but I like this song.)
Homecoming--Hey Monday
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Introduction Tuesday
I actually had to go back to blog 1 and find out what the heck I was supposed to talk about on Tuesdays, haha, and then I was going to title it "Celebrity Tuesday" but decided that was dumb... not that Introduction Tuesday is much better, but c'est la vi. (French: "Such is life.")
Anyway.... today, I think I'll talk to you about my idol--because I hate it when people call them heroes--David "Davey" Anthony Passaro Marchand "Havok"--Davey Havok for short. I used to know way more about him than I do now, partly because I quit caring as much, and partly because I realized how creepy stalkery it really was. Anyway. I know he was born on the east coast--I want to say Pennsylvania, but maybe New York; too lazy to look--and when he was seven, his dad died. His mom remarried and they moved across the country to California, where he went to school and then a year of college, double-majoring in English and psychology before he dropped out. (Which I actually find highly amusing, because the guy can't spell for shit.) He started singing into a wooden spoon at a family reunion when he was three. AFI started when he was in high school--I want to say age 15...--and was based on the fact that Davey could sing...because none of the others could play an instrument. And they picked up from there. (I have to say they did a damn nice job for kids who couldn't play.)
He's vegan, and he's straight-edge. He's been both since high school. I don't agree with his dietary decision, nor really his reason for being that way, but I respect his decision and that he sticks to it. Straight-edge is a term used for people who don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. At all. Ever. Period. Some of them go so far as to not even drink coffee, or use pain meds, or....shit, eat chocolate! (He doesn't go that far.) Up until recently, he had inspired me to be that way, but that's a story for another time.
I love the way he writes. He writes all of the lyrics (except for a few on Answer That and Stay Fashionable) for all the songs the band writes. Davey writes ambiguously, so that the direct meaning of a song will change with who you are, the mood you're in, your life experiences, and what you want to take out of that song, but they're still somehow specific. They can channel an emotion, and that emotion just builds. And he has an incredible way with words. (I have respect for anyone who can use words like "amaranth," "exquisite," "monolithic," "banality," and "disassociate." (I looked for the best one, but couldn't remember what song it was in and couldn't find it. sorry.))
The guy's also gorgeous, I won't deny it. I mean, some people--like my mom, for example--think he's creepy or disgusting (that's my mom) or just plain psycho or something. Probably gay. I think he's hot. Not as much as I used to, granted, but still. He's beautiful. Incredible facial structure...and beautiful eyes. Oh my God, that man has the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen in my life... ugh... Anyway. Ahem... As I was saying... He also has this incredible voice... I just love it. I see voices in color, and his is...well, maybe I'll leave that for another time. That requires explanation I don't have time for. I've only got 23 minutes until it's not Tuesday anymore. I'm hurrying...
Anyway. Basically, the guy's my idol for being so different in an industry where everything's thrown together. He doesn't drink or touch drugs or smoke--and in his case, he can be a rock star without consulting Nickelback's repertoire of conditions involved--he's highly intelligent, incredibly talented, and beautiful. What more could you ask for?
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
(Tuesday doesn't have a tracklist because I typed it in bed when I was supposed to be sleeping because I have standardized testing in the morning. Yay me. Ugh...)
Anyway.... today, I think I'll talk to you about my idol--because I hate it when people call them heroes--David "Davey" Anthony Passaro Marchand "Havok"--Davey Havok for short. I used to know way more about him than I do now, partly because I quit caring as much, and partly because I realized how creepy stalkery it really was. Anyway. I know he was born on the east coast--I want to say Pennsylvania, but maybe New York; too lazy to look--and when he was seven, his dad died. His mom remarried and they moved across the country to California, where he went to school and then a year of college, double-majoring in English and psychology before he dropped out. (Which I actually find highly amusing, because the guy can't spell for shit.) He started singing into a wooden spoon at a family reunion when he was three. AFI started when he was in high school--I want to say age 15...--and was based on the fact that Davey could sing...because none of the others could play an instrument. And they picked up from there. (I have to say they did a damn nice job for kids who couldn't play.)
He's vegan, and he's straight-edge. He's been both since high school. I don't agree with his dietary decision, nor really his reason for being that way, but I respect his decision and that he sticks to it. Straight-edge is a term used for people who don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. At all. Ever. Period. Some of them go so far as to not even drink coffee, or use pain meds, or....shit, eat chocolate! (He doesn't go that far.) Up until recently, he had inspired me to be that way, but that's a story for another time.
I love the way he writes. He writes all of the lyrics (except for a few on Answer That and Stay Fashionable) for all the songs the band writes. Davey writes ambiguously, so that the direct meaning of a song will change with who you are, the mood you're in, your life experiences, and what you want to take out of that song, but they're still somehow specific. They can channel an emotion, and that emotion just builds. And he has an incredible way with words. (I have respect for anyone who can use words like "amaranth," "exquisite," "monolithic," "banality," and "disassociate." (I looked for the best one, but couldn't remember what song it was in and couldn't find it. sorry.))
The guy's also gorgeous, I won't deny it. I mean, some people--like my mom, for example--think he's creepy or disgusting (that's my mom) or just plain psycho or something. Probably gay. I think he's hot. Not as much as I used to, granted, but still. He's beautiful. Incredible facial structure...and beautiful eyes. Oh my God, that man has the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen in my life... ugh... Anyway. Ahem... As I was saying... He also has this incredible voice... I just love it. I see voices in color, and his is...well, maybe I'll leave that for another time. That requires explanation I don't have time for. I've only got 23 minutes until it's not Tuesday anymore. I'm hurrying...
Anyway. Basically, the guy's my idol for being so different in an industry where everything's thrown together. He doesn't drink or touch drugs or smoke--and in his case, he can be a rock star without consulting Nickelback's repertoire of conditions involved--he's highly intelligent, incredibly talented, and beautiful. What more could you ask for?
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
(Tuesday doesn't have a tracklist because I typed it in bed when I was supposed to be sleeping because I have standardized testing in the morning. Yay me. Ugh...)
Monday, September 7, 2009
Music Monday
So I realize that I just posted my introduction like, 30 seconds ago, but it's Monday. And I like talking about music. So I'm gonna. And you can't stop me. (But you can go away and quit reading, but don't let me give you any ideas....)
So. AFI is one of my very favoritest bands ever. They started in California when they were in high school, but since then, they've put out 7 studio albums [plus some EPs], with the 8th coming out in just a couple of weeks. I said it once already, but I'll say it again, I'm so excited, I just can't stand it. I personally own 5 of these, and once Crash Love comes out, that number will increase to 6...unless I find another before then.
Jade Puget and Davey Havok of AFI came together a few years ago and put together Blaqk Audio, who, after a few years of work, put out Cex Cells in 2007. They're electronica, and really different from anything that AFI has ever been, which is good, because otherwise it'd have been disappointing. But that's me. (By the way, I own this CD, too.)
All Time Low is another favorite. They've got 3 studio albums, I believe, and I have 2 of them. I'm only missing their first, with Circles and Coffee Shop Soundtrack on it. I forget the name just now, and I'm too lazy to go look it up. Maybe later. I've probably got it written down, anyway.
I get Alternative Press magazine, which is the source for a lot of bands I end up getting into anymore. If they're featured in AP, I have the tendency to look them up online. If I like them, they get added to my "I want this CD!" list. If I don't, I cross them off and move on to the next. Consequently, I have an "I want" list a few hundred disks long...haha...and an "I Own" list nearing 200.
As far as genres go, I mentioned this a little before, but basically, I don't care what genre it is so long as it's good. I like strong, moving beats, but I also like slow music. Rock, Alternative, Powerpop, electronica, techno, metal, hardcore, punk, you name it. And Christian. With screamo, I used to like it a lot, but lately, I only like it if it's really good, and I have to be in the mood for it. I don't know how to define "good screamo" though. It's kind of an opinion thing. You either like it or you don't, right? Precisely. Such is the way of music. As far as Christian goes, I like bands like Kutless, Reliant K, Flyleaf, Skillet, etc. The edgier, more rocked-up Christian music...and often times, the Christian music that isn't in-your-face, God-God-God. I find preachy music--of any type--to be obnoxious. But a good song about God? Sure, why not.
Along with music, I love live music. I love to go to shows, and I love to support local bands. There are a few in the Minot area that I know of and have seen, like Stay Out Late, Diabolic Octopus, The Earth and Everything In It [who are on a perhaps permanent hiatus with one member in Minneapolis for college], and......hmm....Agony of Apathy, but they're from Williston... I'm trying to think of more, but I'm drawing blank. There's a chick who does acoustic stuff, but I can't remember her name, and I guess, to be honest, she's only okay. And then there's Merrick, but to be quite honest, they suck really bad. (Sorry guys...) Oh, and there's Galaxies, but as far as I know, they haven't recorded anything or done shirts or anything, so, I don't know how serious or side-projecty that one is. Up in the air.
I don't get to go to a lot of shows, because my mom's kind of against the whole idea... I don't really know why, but unfortunately, I don't get the option either way. Most of the concerts I get to go to end up being Christian bands because the people I get rides from refuse to listen to anything but Christian music...which, to be quite honest, is rather frustrating. I got the girl's dad into Shinedown (because someone told me they were Christian when they introduced me to them and I hadn't looked yet to find out that they weren't) and then he got pissed when he found out they weren't Christian and now he's decided that he can't like them because they're not. It's like, come on, get a life. There is such a thing as Christian-friendly secular music, all right? Get over yourself. I don't know. Whatever.
Anyway......so yeah...... As far as albums coming out in the near future that I know of and am pretty excited for are Saosin's new album in October, Paramore's on the 29th, AFI's on the 29th, Jeffree Star's on Wednesday, and.......I know there are more, but I don't have that document with me, and I'm too lazy to go to the other computer and look. So there.
So that pretty well ends Music Monday....
Meet you tomorrow! (Different time, same place.) =)
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
blog playlist, courtesy of www.jango.com:
Live This Down--Papa Roach
Moon Mad--The Psychedelic Ensemble (only about a third of it; I skipped wiht 6:30 left)
Summer Shudder--AFI
Year Zero--30 Seconds to Mars
Prayer of the Refugee--Rise Against
Our Time is Now--Story of the Year (was okay, as screamo goes)
Walk Away (Maybe)--Good Charlotte
Faking My Own Suicide--Reliant K
Hurt--Thousand Foot Krutch
Nothing Left to Show--Hawk Nelson
So. AFI is one of my very favoritest bands ever. They started in California when they were in high school, but since then, they've put out 7 studio albums [plus some EPs], with the 8th coming out in just a couple of weeks. I said it once already, but I'll say it again, I'm so excited, I just can't stand it. I personally own 5 of these, and once Crash Love comes out, that number will increase to 6...unless I find another before then.
Jade Puget and Davey Havok of AFI came together a few years ago and put together Blaqk Audio, who, after a few years of work, put out Cex Cells in 2007. They're electronica, and really different from anything that AFI has ever been, which is good, because otherwise it'd have been disappointing. But that's me. (By the way, I own this CD, too.)
All Time Low is another favorite. They've got 3 studio albums, I believe, and I have 2 of them. I'm only missing their first, with Circles and Coffee Shop Soundtrack on it. I forget the name just now, and I'm too lazy to go look it up. Maybe later. I've probably got it written down, anyway.
I get Alternative Press magazine, which is the source for a lot of bands I end up getting into anymore. If they're featured in AP, I have the tendency to look them up online. If I like them, they get added to my "I want this CD!" list. If I don't, I cross them off and move on to the next. Consequently, I have an "I want" list a few hundred disks long...haha...and an "I Own" list nearing 200.
As far as genres go, I mentioned this a little before, but basically, I don't care what genre it is so long as it's good. I like strong, moving beats, but I also like slow music. Rock, Alternative, Powerpop, electronica, techno, metal, hardcore, punk, you name it. And Christian. With screamo, I used to like it a lot, but lately, I only like it if it's really good, and I have to be in the mood for it. I don't know how to define "good screamo" though. It's kind of an opinion thing. You either like it or you don't, right? Precisely. Such is the way of music. As far as Christian goes, I like bands like Kutless, Reliant K, Flyleaf, Skillet, etc. The edgier, more rocked-up Christian music...and often times, the Christian music that isn't in-your-face, God-God-God. I find preachy music--of any type--to be obnoxious. But a good song about God? Sure, why not.
Along with music, I love live music. I love to go to shows, and I love to support local bands. There are a few in the Minot area that I know of and have seen, like Stay Out Late, Diabolic Octopus, The Earth and Everything In It [who are on a perhaps permanent hiatus with one member in Minneapolis for college], and......hmm....Agony of Apathy, but they're from Williston... I'm trying to think of more, but I'm drawing blank. There's a chick who does acoustic stuff, but I can't remember her name, and I guess, to be honest, she's only okay. And then there's Merrick, but to be quite honest, they suck really bad. (Sorry guys...) Oh, and there's Galaxies, but as far as I know, they haven't recorded anything or done shirts or anything, so, I don't know how serious or side-projecty that one is. Up in the air.
I don't get to go to a lot of shows, because my mom's kind of against the whole idea... I don't really know why, but unfortunately, I don't get the option either way. Most of the concerts I get to go to end up being Christian bands because the people I get rides from refuse to listen to anything but Christian music...which, to be quite honest, is rather frustrating. I got the girl's dad into Shinedown (because someone told me they were Christian when they introduced me to them and I hadn't looked yet to find out that they weren't) and then he got pissed when he found out they weren't Christian and now he's decided that he can't like them because they're not. It's like, come on, get a life. There is such a thing as Christian-friendly secular music, all right? Get over yourself. I don't know. Whatever.
Anyway......so yeah...... As far as albums coming out in the near future that I know of and am pretty excited for are Saosin's new album in October, Paramore's on the 29th, AFI's on the 29th, Jeffree Star's on Wednesday, and.......I know there are more, but I don't have that document with me, and I'm too lazy to go to the other computer and look. So there.
So that pretty well ends Music Monday....
Meet you tomorrow! (Different time, same place.) =)
Until next time, with love,
--Emily
~~xoxo~~
blog playlist, courtesy of www.jango.com:
Live This Down--Papa Roach
Moon Mad--The Psychedelic Ensemble (only about a third of it; I skipped wiht 6:30 left)
Summer Shudder--AFI
Year Zero--30 Seconds to Mars
Prayer of the Refugee--Rise Against
Our Time is Now--Story of the Year (was okay, as screamo goes)
Walk Away (Maybe)--Good Charlotte
Faking My Own Suicide--Reliant K
Hurt--Thousand Foot Krutch
Nothing Left to Show--Hawk Nelson
My Name is Emily
Hello. I don't know who I'm greeting--probably nobody--but I'll say hello anyway, because it only seems polite. C=
My name is Emily. I live in Nowheresville, North Dakota...otherwise known as Stanley. It's this little nothing of a town that you'd be lucky to find on a map, about 2 1/2 hours west of the capital. Like I correctly dubbed it earlier: Nowheresville.
(By the way, that's me, [= right over there.)
I'm 16, at present. Most people would never guess that, which is why I'm going to tell you. Most people, for whatever reason, seem to think I'm at least 18, generally closer to 24. I don't get it. I don't personally think I look 24, but that's me. I suppose it's the way I carry myself and the fact that I speak like an intelligent adult. (At least I like to think so.)
I attend Stanley High School. I have since 7th grade, and before that, I attended Stanley Elementary School. I'm a junior this year--putting me in 11th grade, if you never figured out that system (or you're Canadian and don't use it. Either way)--and I got elected as class secretary. So...I don't really know what that job entails---probably nothing, really--but I'm ready for it. I'm so ready to graduate, you have no idea. (Actually, you might, but never mind.)
I've moved three times in my entire life: the first move was from Montgomery, Alabama to Stanley when I was a year and a half old; the second was from Stanley to the farm I live on; the final was across the yard, from my old house to the one I live in now. Thrilling, isn't it? Exactly.
I work at Cenex. It's a gas station. And the one I work at is likely one of the busiest in my half of the state. It's rather wild in there, and we're not set up for the kind of business we're getting, so it's kind of a zoo. All the time. Because we're open...all the time. Literally. We never close. Although, we're doing a bunch of renovations and stuff right now--well, trying to, anyway--and if I'm getting this correct, we're going to be closing for a few hours at night, probably between 1 and 4 a.m. So yeah....But I never work that shift, so I'm totally good with that. C=
I'm a writer. No, not just a blogger, but a writer. If I actually manage to publish anything, I can even call myself an author. I think. I probably won't, but it'd be fun to do once in awhile, right? Exactly. Glad we had that talk.
Anyway--ha, sorry--I write fiction. Exclusively. Well...okay, not "Exclusively," because I started writing this little thing about how I write--never mind; long story--but 99.98% of what I write is fiction. Fantasy, science fiction, teen fiction, "romance"--mostly minus the sex part--what have you. If it crosses my mind it probably crosses my paper. C'est la vi. But yeah. I'm working on the rewrite of a book I wrote a couple of years ago, and I'm getting on towards done, so I'm pretty excited about it. I hope to send it to a publisher or 10 by the end of the school year. I'm at "good luck with that." So here's hoping [I get my ass in gear].
I read a lot, too, just not as much as I used to. I used to read ALL THE TIME. But that was before I started writing; since then, I've gotten far pickier about my reading material. It used to be that I would read anything I got my hands on....not so much anymore. This might sound conceited, but basically, I refuse to waste my time reading something in which the writing is of lesser quality than what I, myself, can produce. Good thing for me, I know that my writing isn't first rate. However, I know what's good and what's not, and I'm sorry, but some of that stuff just doesn't make the cut.
Anne Bishop, Rob Thurman, Laurell K. Hamilton, and Scott Westerfeld are all really good names. I love their material, and all for different reasons. (Obviously; they're all different writers, but you get the idea.)
I listen to music almost constantly. For instance, right this very second, I'm listening to Rise Against on http://www.jango.com/ because I love online radio stations. It gives me a chance to listen to music that I don't actually own. It also gives me a chance to find new awesome artists. I've already found a few. Anyway. I listen to most anything, so long as it's not obnoxious. The majority of rap and country make it into that "obnoxious" category, but not all of it. For instance, I really like 3Oh!3 and Ke$ha--the latter of whom is really more like, "hip hop" than rap, but whatever. And Eminem can be okay, too. I just don't listen to him a lot. As far as country goes, my parents like some country, so I do know that there is some worth listening to.
As far as favorites go, that's really hard to say. Partly, this is because of how much music I really listen to, and how much really good music there is out there. However, going on a handful of factors that I may or may not share with you, I would say that AFI, All Time Low, and Owl City are probably my current favorites... AFI has been for....what? 4 years? Something like that. I'm so excited for their new album out on the 29th I can barely live with myself. All Time Low and Owl City are new additions, but I love them loads. Owl City is just adorable. All Time Low... I don't know. There's just something to their music that I love with every particle of my heart. (Queue chuckle at cheesy line.)
As my radio station transitions from All Time Low to Three Days Grace, I'll decide to inform you that as of late, songs that have been making it onto my playlist a lot are: Prisoner--Jeffree Star (who will be a topic in later blogs); Remembering Sunday--All Time Low; aannnd.... Tik ToK--Ke$ha. I'm just stuck on them. But keep in mind, I have an 8G music player (which will come into discussion later, as well) and well over 100 CDs--personally--so I listen to far more music than that.
I've decided that since blogspot isn't blocked at school--and I'm not working all that much, nor do I do much at home--I'm going to try to blog every day. About what? Well...that'll depend on the day.
Mondays, I'll try to focus on music. What I'm listening to, who's putting out another album--and when, new CDs I've bought--plus what I think about them and etc., you get the drift. So now I've got Music Mondays...haha.
Tuesdays, we'll talk about........mmm.....celebrity figures that have caught my attention. Such as Jeffree Star. Or Davey Havok. We'll probably start with the latter. I'll let you know A) who they are, B) various info about them, C) who they're dating--no I'm kidding; I don't care--C) why I picked them, and D) why you should know them...which kind of fits in with C, but whatever.
Wednesdays, I'll cover books. What I'm reading at that given time. Don't be terribly surprised when it's the same book for multiple blogs. I'm not reading as much as I used to, due to the whole writing thing. It takes up a lot of my time. I'm trying, though. I'll do my best. Basically, I'll let you know what the book's about, who it's by, and what I think of it. As if you cared.
Thursdays.....you wanna talk about food? I can talk about food.... I'm good with food. We'll discuss food on Thursdays. Tastes good to me. (Or doesn't, haha.)
On Friday, I'll...figure something out. Fridays can be free. I'll just talk about whatever on Fridays because I can.
Granted, not that anybody really cares what a 16-year-old writer from Nowheresville, North Dakota might think about anything, but I'm bored, and I feel like sharing something with the world. C= Whether the world wants to know or not. So there. Because I'm defiant that way.
If I post anything on the weekends, who the hell knows what I'll have to say? I'm random, remember? I'll probably update on whatever else I forgot to cover during the week, or just bring up something completely random...or not so much. Who cares?
Until next time, with love,
--Emi Renae
~~xoxo~~
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